"I don't like balconies. And I've got no problem with you," I said with a mocking smile.
"Judging by the way you looked at your watch and your sudden change in attitude... Looks like Cinderella's time is up," she replied with the same sarcasm.
"Exactly. And you know what? I'm not even interested in you or your body. My only goal was to cross from your room into the main corridor."
Suddenly, she slapped me. Her hand was heavy; it would definitely leave a mark on my face.
"I've never met someone as arrogant and disgusting as you," she shouted in anger.
"You haven't met me yet, missy. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm leaving," I said and jumped down from the balcony onto the wall.
She yelled behind me:
"I hope I never see you again in this entire mansion!"
Ignoring her, I grabbed the rope on the wall and slipped outside. I was walking quietly by the roadside, heading toward the same place. One question kept repeating in my mind:
Were the people watching me working for Tarık Bey? Was someone still following me?
To satisfy my curiosity, I kept walking. About 15-20 minutes later, I emerged from the dark alley onto the main road. I looked back—no one was there. Still, I wanted to be sure. I crossed the street and sat on Caner's boat, scanning the surroundings. Still, nobody.
But the doubt lingered in me: "If they're tailing me, they'll find a way anyway," I thought. With that, I took off my shoes, placed them aside, and began walking along the beach. I had gotten quite far from the boat. It was getting late, so I decided to return.
Lost in thought as I walked, a jogger bumped into my shoulder.
"Sorry, sir. I didn't see you," he said and continued on, putting his earbuds back in.
I figured it was time to call Caner. After a long chat, we got to the main point:
"So, what's the real issue, Caner? What did you decide?"
"The real question is: what did you decide, Alpay? I'm leaving. It's time for things to change for us too."
"We don't even know who these people are yet. Or what they want. Do you want to disappear without knowing a thing?"
"I'm going to take my chances. It's either death or rebirth. You decide. If you want to come, meet me tomorrow at the same time, same place."
Caner hung up on me. I returned to the boat, put on my shoes, and walked back to the main road. Caner was imagining either an end or a new beginning for us. But he wasn't considering our lives at all. Lost in thought, I ended up at the mansion wall again.
I grabbed the rope and climbed back in. That girl was still there, reading a book. As I passed silently behind the wall, she noticed me.
"Crossing behind that wall doesn't make you hidden from me, Alpay," she said, calling me by name.
She put down her Crime and Punishment book and stood up from the chair. Her hair fell over her shoulders as she tossed it back.
"I'm not hiding from you, miss. I just don't want to be seen by you."
"Can you stop calling me 'miss'? I'm not thirteen. My name is Alara."
"Don't worry. No one sees you as a child. Someone reading Crime and Punishment can't be a child."
"Why not? I read it when I was younger too. Didn't understand a thing back then. Now I kind of get it. Have you read it? Actually… did you even finish school?" she asked mockingly.
"Not every servant is a middle school dropout. 'Can a person do evil to achieve good?' or 'Are we defined by reason or conscience?' Which do you think?"
Alara looked at me, surprised."You're surprising me. I think we are the voice of our conscience. Good must come from good, not evil."
"Raskolnikov just wanted to show that someone from a lower class could hurt the upper class. But his conscience defeated him."
"Isn't that the right thing? If you can't silence the truth, what good is reason?"
"That day, if he hadn't lost to his conscience, people would've worshipped him."
"And you, Alpay? What if you were in his place?"
"Never thought about it. But one thing's clear: those at the bottom are never allowed to rise. If I were him, yes... If I had a chance, I'd say goodbye to my conscience and live by reason."
"Raskolnikov didn't plan to kill that woman. It was a spontaneous decision. You can't blame fate or others for what doesn't happen. The future is unpredictable."
Maybe Alara was right. When even tomorrow is uncertain, why was I so afraid? I was right there with her, yet I found myself gazing at the stars. She was looking up too.
"You like the stars, don't you?"
"They're freer than I am. They drift through galaxies as they please."
"What's holding you back, Alpay? Being a servant? Being here?"
"I didn't choose this life. My family were servants. They expected me to serve too. And now, they're dumping this life on me while they walk away from it."
"So we're in the same boat but from different classes, huh? I didn't want to come here either. I had no choice. After my mom died, I had nowhere to stay. My uncle brought me back here."
"Don't compare your life to mine. Yeah, you lost your family. But I lost my entire bloodline. Only my father's left. Upper-class people only know how to look down and crush others."
Alara frowned."People usually pretend to be sorry when someone loses their family. But I genuinely feel sorry for you. And by the way, I apologize for what I said earlier... except for the servant part. But you really are the most stubborn guy I've ever met."
She closed the balcony door and went inside. I jumped down the wall and returned to the servant quarters. She was right. I had treated her like a jerk. I was so caught up in my own problems I had become blind to others.
When I got to my room, I took the bow tie out of my pocket. While removing my vest, I noticed a folded paper in the outer pocket. I took and read it:
"We're watching you. We see your every move. We are not who you suspect. We are a very different society. If you want the truth, join us."
I looked around in shock. "Who are these people? How do they know everything?" I thought.
As I was undressing, my father burst into the room and slapped me hard.
"What the hell did you do today, huh? Sneaking into the upper floor? Is that how you treat the place that's fed you for years?"
"I was just curious, Dad. That's all."
"Did you see or hear anything up there? If you did—forget it! You're going to be assigned to one of the noble's nephews tomorrow morning. Get ready."
I said nothing. Just shook my head. He stormed out.
"At this rate, I'm going to be a punching bag," I muttered. "And on top of that, I'm serving someone new tomorrow. I'd better sleep before thinking any more."
In the morning, I woke to that stupid alarm. A new suit, a phone, and a note were left in my room:
"The upper floor always requires more discipline and neatness, son."
This time it was a tie instead of a bow tie."Great. Got myself a new leash," I said and got dressed.
As I climbed upstairs, I could feel everyone's eyes on me. When I entered the room, Tarık Bey and my father were waiting. Alara was with them too. I stared at her, surprised. My father must have noticed our glances because he asked:
"Have you two met before, Alara Hanım, or is it just me?"
"Well, actually, Mr. Vedat…" Alara began, but I jumped in:
"Of course not, Father! I was working downstairs until yesterday. How could I have seen this young lady? Pleased to meet you, miss," I said and shook Alara's hand.
She didn't give anything away.