Zhongli's Story Quest begins with the Traveler and Paimon arriving at the Pearl Galley to find Zhongli.
At the moment, Zhongli is discussing tales of the Geo Archon with a group of scholars, and the group gradually realizes that the people in these stories are unaware of the Archon's true identity.
But no matter what, just from the opening of this story alone, people can't hold back their reactions.
In the past, when we didn't know that Zhongli was the Geo Archon himself, this story didn't seem particularly noteworthy.
But now that the "prophet" has exposed the Archon's identity, and we all know Zhongli is the Geo Archon in person…
So the Archon himself came to discuss his own stories with others, huh?
What's with this feeling of the author watching others analyze his work...
After being spoiled with the truth, the people of Teyvat suddenly find a strange satisfaction in revisiting this story.
[Zhongli: "We were just discussing the topic of 'the Geo Archon in history.' Would you care to listen?"]
[Hanxue: "This gentleman seems to underestimate the divine power of the Geo Archon. As a professional archaeologist, I'd like to correct some of his viewpoints."]
"That's a good joke. Writing it down." Cyno scribbles in his little notebook.
"Huh? What are you planning to do with a line about the Geo Archon?" Kaveh asks.
"This gentleman seems to underestimate the power of the Joke King Cyno. As a professional joke expert, I'd like to correct some of your viewpoints." Cyno immediately puts his new material to use.
Kaveh gives a thumbs-up. "You're a damn genius."
Alhaitham continues reading, as if selectively deaf—completely ignoring their conversation.
"Why even engage with him?" Tighnari sighs.
"Is this your first day knowing Cyno?" Give him an opening, and he'll hit you with a pun.
Just look at Alhaitham—he barely acknowledges Cyno.
Well, to be fair, Alhaitham doesn't just ignore Cyno. He ignores pretty much everyone.
[Hanxue: "We're currently discussing the whereabouts of 'the first Mora in history.'"]
["As everyone knows, Mora serves as a catalyst. Even today, there are legends of esoteric arts that use Mora's mystical properties to enhance weapons."]
["The first Mora in existence must contain unparalleled power. Thus, my next historical publication will boldly present the culmination of my decade-long research!"]
["That is—the Geo Archon used this Mora as a catalyst to forge a blade and a sword."]
["Wield the blade, and you shall reign supreme over Liyue. Draw the sword, and you shall be crowned King of Liyue!"]
His speech makes people start doubting this so-called 'expert.' A decade of research, and this is what he comes up with?
Just by drawing this blade and sword, one can become the supreme ruler of Liyue?
If it were true, that'd be one thing—but as an expert and authority, publishing such claims without solid evidence is a professional misconduct.
When Zhongli says "I beg to differ," it's clear that Hanxue is purely speculating.
[Zhongli: "Mora, or money, was originally created simply as a convenient medium for establishing 'contracts.'"]
["It's likely that 'the first Mora in history' was merely spent by the Geo Archon as an ordinary coin…"]
[Yixuan: "Hmm… I find Scholar Hanxue's hypothesis quite plausible. As for this Mr. Zhongli, without any evidence, how can you so casually dismiss the Geo Archon's profound foresight?"]
In reality, Yixuan wants to slap himself. "Why did I have to open my mouth? Now I've made a fool of myself."
Saying "the Geo Archon underestimates his own foresight" right in front of the Geo Archon himself? That's beyond absurd.
[Zhongli replies calmly: "No… My statement carries no judgment. It is merely an assertion of fact."]
[Hanxue scoffs: "Oh please, do you understand the Geo Archon or do I?"]
"He understands jokes better than I do!" Cyno nods approvingly at Hanxue.
In Hanxue's eyes, he is the expert. Zhongli is just some know-it-all youngster.
What does some slightly knowledgeable youth know compared to a 'seasoned expert in his sixties' like him?
Besides, if he lets Zhongli 'trick' and 'ambush' him like this, how is he supposed to sell his books?
Zhongli is cutting off his income—of course he won't give him a friendly look.
[Zhongli: "I claim only a superficial understanding of historical matters—I dare not presume expertise. But if there were no differences in perspective, discourse would lose its meaning."]
Zhongli's words come off as "humble-bragging," but they earn widespread admiration, making people marvel at the Geo Archon's modesty.
Kokomi is especially moved by the Archon's humility. If even he only has a "superficial understanding," then others must not even have scratched the surface.
"It's over. Completely over." In reality, Hanxue's face is ashen.
His 'academic fraud' has been exposed to all of Teyvat—how is he supposed to keep up appearances now?
Might as well perform a 'self-hanging from the southeast branch.' If he actually goes through with it, he'll truly understand the 'King of Hell.'
Meanwhile, the other Liyue citizens are torn between anger and amusement. They want to scold Hanxue for disrespecting the Archon, but they can't help laughing.
This line is bound to become a Liyue meme: "Do you understand [XXX] or do I?"
The ones laughing the hardest are undoubtedly Yae Miko and Venti—they're practically rolling on the floor, with Miko's fox tail nearly popping out from sheer mirth.
Even Kaeya can't compete with Venti's laughter right now.
"Isn't this just misleading people?" Guizhong frowns in displeasure.
Lucian has taken Furina and the others to enjoy the opera, but Guizhong didn't join them. Since she lives in Liyue, there's no rush—she's more curious about the story Lucian mentioned she'd find interesting.
So far, she's not sure if it's interesting, but she is mildly annoyed.
Back in the day, she imparted four commandments to her people, the first two being: "Teach them wisdom, and restrain them with virtue."
She wanted her people to possess wisdom and discipline themselves with morality.
Yet here this 'expert' is, spouting baseless theories—utterly lacking in virtue.
If he were merely proposing a thesis for discussion, that'd be fine—discussion is the process of refining ideas.
But he's not just discussing—he's stating it as fact, even planning to publish a book. Isn't that just leading people astray?
What if some fool actually believes it and wastes their life searching for a nonexistent blade and sword?
Nahida, too, is unusually stern. As the God of Wisdom, she deeply disapproves of publishing baseless claims without evidence.
This isn't scholarship—it's rumor-mongering!
Thankfully, Lucian wrote this story in advance, allowing Zhongli himself to debunk the myth in the narrative.
Otherwise, some hothead might've actually gone looking for that imaginary blade and sword.
If you handed Venti a bottle of wine, he'd probably be more than happy to help search for this blade and sword—after all, it's right up his alley.
Whether it's hunting for nonexistent treasures or impersonating the Geo Archon, he's an expert.
"If you found this blade and sword, could you really become the King of Liyue?" Arataki Itto asks eagerly.
"Boss, didn't they already say it's fake?!" Kuki Shinobu sighs.
===✧✦✧===
Character Voiceline · Arataki Itto: About Liyue's 'Blade and Sword'
"Oh, that story? I'm not interested in being the 'Supreme Ruler of Liyue' or whatever, but if I actually found them, maybe even the people of Inazuma would finally acknowledge me as the one true Oni King! Hahaha!"