"Joshua, wake up."
Someone was holding my head. I slowly opened my eyes. At first, I only saw a blurry shape of a face, which sharpened into focus with every passing second.
"Joshua, you idiot," James scolded me. "What the hell happened to you?"
"I don't remember…" The matter with Mike flashed in my mind. "Where's Mike?"
"At home, I just came back from him."
" What? You were supposed to wait at the gas station."
"Yeah... but I was coming back from his place."
"Really? I thought I saw him…"
"You went the wrong way, idiot," James cut me off and started yelling at me twice as hard. My head was splitting; I started wondering if I had a huge wound in the back. I raised my hand toward the back of my skull.
"Don't touch it," he said.
"Do I have a wound?"
"Yeah, it's bleeding a little, you need to go to the hospital."
I noticed I was lying on some jacket, and suddenly I felt nauseous.
"You need to go to the hospital," he repeated.
"I'm not going to a fucking hospital, I need to get to the pawn shop."
I touched my sweaty forehead. James looked at the tablet lying next to me. It was smashed. He picked it up and turned it around in his hands.
"How long have I been lying here?"
"I don't know," he replied. "I just found you."
"Right."
Suddenly, James's phone buzzed with a notification. He quickly reached for it and opened the message. Then he looked up at me and asked:
"Can you stand?"
***
"So, how was it at Mike's?" I asked James. We were standing by the entrance door of a gas station, leaning against the wall. We were waiting for Ryan, who was supposed to arrive any minute with Cassie.
It got chilly, and I started shivering, but I tried to make it look like I wasn't. (Most of the time I fail, and people keep mocking me for it.)
"We fucked," he answered after a while. I just nodded. After today and the possible strange hallucination, I had this terrifying feeling in my stomach. I didn't want to see him for the next few days.
"And you, are you going out with us on Halloween?" He changed the subject.
I didn't feel like it; I knew Mike would be there, and I'd rather not risk it. I felt an indescribable shame gnawing at my mind, like an endless spiral that never stops.
"Nah, I'll skip," I touched the bandaged wound on my head. James had quickly gone to get some supplies and patched me up with such precision that I was surprised he could even do that.
"Hipster, Halloween's only once a year."
"Yeah…"
"Trust me, it's gonna be fun," he tried to convince me, though I had already given my answer. But then again, wouldn't the group think I was a coward if I didn't go? Would they treat me differently than usual? The truth is, I don't even like drinking that much, and I force down insane amounts of alcohol that my body doesn't even want, puking every time. But it's the safer option to be treated as an equal. I'm not happy about it, but I have to hide somehow, otherwise they won't want to hang out with me.
"I'll see," I whispered.
"That's my boy," James lit a cigarette. A trail of smoke drifted upward.
"So, when is Ryan getting here?" I asked.
"..."
"Hello?"
"..."
James didn't even look at me. He kept taking drag after drag, staring into the void.
It didn't last long, though, because I noticed Ryan's car pulling up. Cassie was in the back seat, looking pissed and desperate. I wasn't even going to ask. They pulled up next to us. Ryan got out, slamming the door so hard it almost broke. Cassie ran after him.
"We need to talk," Ryan started.
"About what?" James flicked his cigarette down at Ryan's feet. "You got the pills?"
Pills?
"Not now," Cassie cut in. I tried not to look her in the eyes.
"Then what?" James smiled and turned his words toward Ryan.
"About Mike."