"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Mike... Happy birthday to youuuuu," Mom stretched out the last word and placed a cupcake with a candle in the middle of the table. We were celebrating my eighteenth birthday together.
"Now make a wish," she said.
I stared at the candle for a moment, thinking of what to wish for. I had to be careful — I couldn't wish for anything bad, because what if it actually came true? I took a deep breath and blew on the flame. It trembled, then went out, leaving behind a thin wisp of white smoke curling lazily toward the ceiling.
"I hope it comes true," I said with a smile, taking the used candle and setting it down next to the cupcake.
"If you believe in it strongly enough, it will become reality," Mom sat down beside me. "You're starting a new chapter in life, and I hope you won't be disappointed."
"I won't… I think."
***
"Okay, so… I met with James yesterday and…" he kept pausing, "and he said… he wants to sleep with me this Halloween."
I froze.
James… fucking James asked him that? This was worse than I thought — I couldn't let it happen. That means he's going to be the next target. Before all of this started, I got the same proposition from one of them, and then the spiral just kept going. I can't let him go through that. I have to protect him at all costs.
"I can finally say that… I'm not straight. I know it's a lot for you, and you probably didn't expect it to turn out this way, but I can finally admit that I'm gay. They were right all along, and I was just hiding it," Jeremy's voice cracked.
"Tell me you said no to him?" I asked, hoping he had refused. Too many things didn't add up. Why would James make such an offer when just recently he had shoved me against a wall in class and nearly choked me because someone told Mary he slept with boys? Why would he agree to this, knowing James has a girlfriend? And why is Jeremy suddenly becoming the new target?
"That question really threw me off, to be honest. I mean, he's with Mary, so it would've been stupid of me to say yes, but…" He paused for so long it left me in a fog. "But at first I thought it was a joke and I said yes, but… it didn't sound like a joke from his mouth, and he even planned where we'd meet."
I couldn't let that meeting happen.
"I thought he was a hundred percent straight. Guess I was wrong."
My fists clenched so tightly that my nails dug deep into my palms. A sharp sting cut through my skin, but I didn't let go.
Suddenly, small raindrops began to fall from the sky, hinting at a coming downpour. Jeremy glanced over his shoulder and said:
"It's gonna rain. Maybe we should go somewhere with a roof?"
I said nothing. I stared at my trembling hands. My jaw quivered as if it were the middle of December and snow was falling. I turned my head toward him.
"You have to cancel," I said.
"What?"
"Cancel the meeting."
"Why?"
"Just listen to me — you can't go. You can't do anything with him!" I shouted.
"What's wrong with you?"
I gritted my teeth, unable to control the rage building inside me. I grabbed him by the hoodie and shoved him against a tree.
"You're not going there!"
Jeremy's eyes widened in fear. My grip kept tightening, and he began to whimper softly.
"Let me go," he whispered.
My breathing grew heavier. The light rain quickly turned into a heavy downpour, pelting my back like hailstones.
"Mike, please… let go."
I snapped out of it. Jeremy's face was pale with fear. I released him and looked at my hands, which seemed to twist into shapes that weren't my own — shapes that belonged to them.
I had acted toward Jeremy the same way they had acted toward me. I had hurt him.
No.
I had to leave.
"I'm sorry," I said, stepping back. He was still frozen, still afraid. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to… I'm sorry."
The ground was covered in puddles and mud. How could such a mess appear in such a short time?
"Mike?"
His voice rang in my ears. I couldn't catch my breath; I thought I might pass out.
"Mike?"
What the hell is happening to me?!
A tear slid down my cheek. Thankfully, it was masked by the rain.
"I have to go," I said.
I'm becoming a bad person. I'm becoming a bad person. I'm becoming a bad person.
"Mike, tell me what's going on," Jeremy tried to get through to me.
I didn't listen — not even for a minute.
"Nothing's wrong, really," he said, reaching out toward my shoulder.
"Don't touch me!" I snapped.
"Mike… umm… I'm scared."
I stepped into a puddle and looked down. What I saw terrified me even more — my reflection was gone, replaced by a twisted caricature of my face.
"Mike, please, let me walk you home," Jeremy pleaded, concern in his voice.
"I'll go alone," I said, turning on my heel. I gave him one last glance, then walked away in silence, leaving him standing there in the rain.