??? (POV)
'Come on, come on… hours of ceaseless toiling and I'm finally so damn close… just one little push and I can just feel it…' I talk to myself with my arm stretched out towards the offending object, my wand clasped firmly in my palm as I close my eyes and tighten my muscles and just, focus…
I inhaled deeply for a second before letting it all out, a single word resounding through my psyche in an instant as I clamped my lips shut forcefully, resisting the temptation to verbalize it, knowing it would produce instant gratification but also squander my efforts for the afternoon.
'ACCIO!'
I open my eyes wide as two painful seconds go by, nary a twitch… before it happened.
The book on the receiving end of my glare shot forward at a speed comprehensible to my vision. I extended out my other appendage, intent on catching it before its self-correction towards a more… unguarded body part.
A satisfying dull thud resounded through my bedroom as I gripped it hard, careful not to clench needlessly as its momentum ended in my right palm.
For a second, I stare at it, mouth agape at the significance of my feat before… "YES!!! HELL YEAH! SUCK ON THAT TOMMY BOY! HA!" I yell out to the empty room without reservation, giggling madly like a Bond villain finally seeing his nemesis in chains.
A jubilation-filled moment later, I began breathing deeply, focusing on the rhythmic inhale-exhale, as I stared off into space, choosing to focus on clearing my mind of errant thoughts.
Yep, you guessed it. Occlumency.
A funny little misconception about it is that it doesn't help you clear your errant thoughts and emotions, so much as contain them within the confines of your chaotic mind, essentially preventing them from showing up on your face.
Also… fuck the theories back home.
I have been practicing the esoteric mind arts for well over 3 years now, and guess what?!
Occlumency is NOT! I repeat, not a cheat code to procure enhanced thought process and photographic memory as has been theorized for years, but rather solely a measure to combat its privacy-invading counterpart, Legilimency. Sure, it keeps a tight lid on emotions like fear, anger, and distress, but only because they act as doorways for a skilled legilimens to take a stroll through the memories responsible for them.
Now, the artificially caused absence of these emotions might result in increased focus for some, BUT it's in no way a supernatural boost of any sort, so no matter how much I desire it, I won't be possessing a 'Sherlock-style mind palace' anytime soon.
Granted, the skill isn't without its benefits, such as greater emotional resiliency and self-awareness, and the ability to control involuntary facial reactions that, again, may give away your intentions to a suitably observant witch/wizard… oh, and also better compartmentalizational skills that essentially allow me lock away certain memories or trains of thoughts that I definitely don't want anyone glimpsing at… confidentiality and all.
CRACK!
"Master Ace, is you all right?! Netsy heard shouting!" Huh, guess I gotta tone down my celebrations next time…
"All is well, Netsy. Thanks, though, glad you got the whole 'constant vigilance' thing down pretty fast." I glance fondly at my house-elf, well- more like my family's, but who cares? Semantics.
Her ears flop as she nods in relief before her enormous eyes shift towards my wand. "Is Master doing magicks again?! Netsy is told by the old masters to be telling if Master is doing spellwork! Oh, Master could be hurting himself, he could! Netsy is begging you, no more sparklies, please, sir!" She squeaked, shaking her head fast enough to get whiplash if I dared say.
"Aww, come on Netsy! I got my wand barely a week ago! I am just practicing a few basic spells to get ahead of my classmates now, not that big of a deal. Plus, mom and dad are just worried I am not doing anything reckless again, like wandless experiments or somethin'. Come on, just let it go this once, would you?" I patted her head lovingly, as she preened into it, before I went for the kill.
"You know you're my best friend, right? Come on now… just this once?"
"... Netsy let it go this one time. But not again, no Sir! If you be doing harmful spellwork, then Netsy be telling them for you's own good!" Hands on her waist, as she tried to stare threateningly at me, failing spectacularly as usual.
I nodded frantically as I 'pinky-promised' her to be careful moving on.
She sighed with relief, before 'poppin' out of the room to… the kitchen, probably.
I glance at the regal wall clock to my right - almost dinnertime.
With a sigh of my own, I dash through the motions of a quick clean-up before stepping out of my room and heading down the hallway.
After a minute of erratic skipping, I slow down to a more… acceptable pace before finally reaching the open door through which tempting aromas find their way to my nose.
I pause for a second before truly entering, catching my breath and preparing myself for the deluge of illogical concerns sure to find their way across the dinner table, as I share a final meal with my 'parents'.
My loving family, or as I call them, Mom and Dad.
Never thought I would, considering my circumstances, but a year in, and my sturdy defences and stubborn demeanor were worn down more than an unstable dam facing the full fury of a river.
Not the best analogy, but sufficient to describe my state after being helplessly swaddled and having my cheeks pinched for years at the start… Who am I kidding? The latter still occurs to this day.
Sure, I might be relatively lean for a 10-year-old, but my cheeks were still chubby enough to be manhandled at a moment's notice if I expressed the slightest indignation.
I enter the hall with its high ceiling, making my way to the rectangular table as I find my seat, already seeing my plate filled to the brim with food fit for a King.
Of course, a feast awaited me. I should never have doubted. I am, after all, being promptly shipped off to a castle full of strangers and acquaintances come tomorrow morning.
After more than 11 years of cohabitation, I am finally being afflicted with a semblance of distance and a relative downgrade in living conditions. A much-needed exodus for my growth and goals, but downright depressing for the two most essential elements in my short life.
"Ace!" Mom began with a slight squeak, "Are your bags packed for tomorrow? You didn't forget anything, did you?!" Her concern demands to be addressed ASAP.
"You packed them yourself, dear, just hours ago." Dad's dry tone made his amusement evident… yet his features betrayed a hint of trepidation.
Mom ignored his words as usual, choosing to focus on me, her eyes finding mine.
A soft chuckle escaped me at their familiar byplay, before I replied with the bearing of a seasoned diplomat, "Don't worry, Mom, I am as ready as ever. I daresay none of my peers will be as ready tomorrow as I am today." I flash a reassuring smile before picking up the fork and knife and proceeding to dig in.
Her lips twitched, "Oh, don't you dare try that with me, mister! I have fallen for it enough already. You, making a bold claim and then ending up falling short of your sky-high expectations… Try a little transparency for once, will you? Now tell us, how are you feeling? Excited? Scared? Relieved? By all means, don't hold back on my account!" She delivered, cutting through both her piece of meat and my bullshit with the sharpness of a knife.
Dad exhaled wearily in the corner of my eye as I lifted my head and focused on the woman who quite possibly knew me better than anyone else.
"Well, since you asked, I can't limit myself to a singular state of mind. Feeling a whole host of things to be honest. Excited? Obviously. Scared? Not exactly, but kinda disoriented to be leaving my nest and flying free for the first time. It's as my motto goes, innit? 'Hope for the best, prepare for the worst." I outline, before taking a moment to truly savour my piece of roasted chicken.
This time it was my dad whose voice broke out, "Oh, truly? And here I spent the last week believing your motto to be 'Strive not to succeed, but rather excel." His voice dripped thickly with a unique blend of sarcastic exasperation. One that I liked to believe he reserved only for me.
Without breaking a stride, I shot back, "You said it, that was last week. So many hours have passed since then, and my worldview has unquestionably changed. The fickleness of a pre-teen, I suppose."
They exchanged an amused glance before focusing back on me, this time, devoid of worry. "Is that why you were attempting a 4th year spell non-verbally for the past 2 hours, enclosed in your room?" Mom raised an eyebrow.
I froze.
My mind raced with theories as to how they could have possibly found out.
Could it have been… Netsy?! No, wait, she didn't see cast Accio, simply holding a wand and a book in my hands. There was no way she could have deduced it was the Summoning spell.
But then how?
"We asked Bobby to keep an eye on you… discreetly. Just in case you decided to ignore our repeated warnings and blazed ahead without a sense of self-preservation, as has been the case occasionally." Dad spoke, his eye twitching.
My hands went up, "Okay, in my defense, I opened the 'Compendium of Essential Spells', and it was staring me in my face, also it was the most harmless spell in there- it could've gone wrong in so many ways, but I picked the best spell I believe-"
"You were told not to pick ANY spells after the debacle last week." He cut through, all the while Ma just sat, sipping a glass of wine, her face a cocktail of disappointment and amusement.
Ah. The debacle. So that's what it boils down to.
I cast one accidental Incendio on some prime Mahogany, and all of a sudden, I am banned from spellcasting until Hogwarts.
… To be honest, even though I don't agree with their assessment, I understand it just fine.
Looking at it from their perspective, their 10-year-old uneducated kid, who has shown a certain deranged maturity over the years, experimenting with spells well beyond his limits without supervision or oversight of any form… yeah, I kinda get their apprehension.
I suppose this is one battle I just don't see myself winning.
So I let the room devolve into a momentary silence before opening my mouth, "Sorry. I-I won't do it again, I was just-, I mean Hogwarts awaits on the morrow. I guess I got a little… impatient." My head hangs a little low, words oozing guilt. Not due to my act of disobedience, but rather for making them worry all over again.
I looked up and saw them exchange a glance before turning back to me.
This time it was my Mom. "Darling, we understand your enthusiasm to learn, truly we do. I was in your shoes decades ago, and have gone through the exact same thing." I highly doubt it, but no chance am I interrupting her now of all times. "We have known for years now, about how extraordinary you are for your age, and by means do we want to, or intend to stifle your curiosity. BUT-" Aha! There it is. "Magic by nature is unpredictable, and caution is not simply advised, but rather enforced in many cases due to its volatility. There is a reason why the 'Trace' exists Horace, and no. It's not solely due to the Statute of Secrecy needing to be maintained. Not to mention non-verbal casting, learning something so advanced in a controlled environment is key to ensuring you don't accidentally harm yourself or your surroundings!" Her voice rose by an octave towards the end, as her concern shone through.
"Now-now, let's all take a step back for a second." Dad sighed, meeting my eyes. "From what we heard, you actually succeeded in your endeavor." He looked impressed for a second. "And we are proud of you for that, always have been, just that, tomorrow you step into a new world, Horace. You live among different people, under different rules, with different expectations on your shoulders… take precautions is all I'm saying. You never know when things might go wrong, and come tomorrow, we won't be there for you."
I nodded, a hint of shame visible on my visage, "Got it, Dad, I'll be vigilant. Constantly, if need be. Once again, I apologize for worrying you both. I should have waited, or at the very least, asked permission."
"No harm, no foul, kiddo." A hint of a smile visible on his face. "Take care of yourself, it's all we're asking for here."
I nodded again, before grinning at the resolution and going right back to stuffing my face with chicken.
Oh, I will take care of myself. I'll take care real good.
…
I can't even begin to imagine their reaction if they knew just exactly how well I was gonna take care of myself out there.