Chapter 339: Wants to Punch His Head Off
Hearing the chorus of compliments from their guildmates, genuine smiles blossomed on the girls' faces. Having their painstaking efforts recognized and praised naturally made them happy.
Wendy-kun, Yukino-kun, and Meredy-kun blushed deeply under the barrage of compliments, lowering their heads shyly.
"Of course we look beautiful! We put a lot of effort into dressing up today," Sorano beamed proudly.
"Mhm! We spent a huge amount of time picking out these clothes and hairstyles," Lucy added with a bright smile.
"Mhm! Mhm!" Wendy-kun and her friends nodded repeatedly. Yesterday's marathon shopping and styling session had certainly been exhausting, but the results were undeniable.
Basking in the continuous praise from the guild, Ultear and the group made their way over to the bar counter.
"Wow! You all look absolutely stunning!" Noah didn't hesitate for a second. The moment they reached the counter, he gave them a huge thumbs up and enthusiastic praise.
"Hehe, of course we do!" Sorano tilted her head up slightly, smiling triumphantly.
Then, her eyes darted playfully. She covered her mouth with one hand and leaned in close to Noah, pretending to whisper a secret question, though she spoke loudly enough for everyone around them to hear perfectly well.
"So... which one of us is the prettiest?"
The moment she asked, all eyes instantly snapped to Noah.
"Everyone looks incredibly beautiful. I couldn't possibly choose just one," Noah replied smoothly, without missing a beat, spreading his hands helplessly.
"Come on, there has to be one you like the best. Just tell us~" Sorano persisted, lowering her voice slightly but maintaining the pressure.
"I honestly don't understand fashion or aesthetics that well. I just know you all look genuinely beautiful today. You guys know this better than anyone; you're the ones who pick out all my clothes for me," Noah said with a helpless sigh.
"Alright, alright. I'll let you off the hook this time," Sorano laughed, satisfied with his response.
She knew Noah was telling the truth. Before they intervened, Noah essentially owned only two or three identical sets of clothes. If one got damaged, he just bought the exact same thing to replace it. He had worn the same style for years.
Eventually, Sorano and the others couldn't stand it anymore and dragged him to a clothing store. That was when they discovered that, while Noah was an unparalleled genius in magic, he was completely hopeless when it came to fashion coordination.
It was only after they took over his wardrobe that Noah started dressing with any sense of style. He truly had zero eye for aesthetics.
Hearing Sorano drop the subject, Noah breathed a massive sigh of relief internally.
He was always terrified of Sorano's mischievous, trap-laden questions. She just loved watching him squirm.
"Wait, Noah really didn't know how to coordinate his clothes?" Lucy asked, genuinely surprised. "No wonder when I first met him, every time he visited my house, I felt like he was just wearing the exact same outfit over and over again."
"Exactly! We felt the exact same way! He never changed his style, so we finally dragged him out to go shopping. Let me tell you..."
Sorano eagerly began recounting stories of Noah's past fashion disasters to Lucy. Ultear, Mirajane, and Erza frequently chimed in with their own anecdotes.
Wendy-kun and the younger girls listened intently. Meredy-kun, having joined the guild later than the others, was particularly fascinated by these stories of Noah's past.
Noah could only stand by with a helpless, resigned expression as Ultear, Lucy, and the girls animatedly discussed his past embarrassments. They eventually found an empty table, sat down, and continued their lively gossip session.
Shaking his head, Noah returned to his paperwork.
With Ultear and the girls' arrival, the atmosphere in the guild had become incredibly lively and upbeat once more.
"OH—! TITANIA!"
Suddenly, a highly energetic voice boomed from the guild entrance. Everyone turned to look.
Standing in the doorway was a man dressed in a flashy pink-and-purple outfit. He had spiky yellow hair sticking straight up, a satchel slung across his chest, and a camera dangling around his neck.
"Oh no... it's really him..." Erza muttered, her face paling slightly.
The man locked his eyes onto Erza's crimson hair. He sprinted forward a few steps, leaped into the air, landed on his knees, and executed a perfectly smooth power-slide across the floor, stopping right next to the table where Erza and the girls were sitting.
"COOL—! COOL—! SO COOL! It's the real Titania Erza! TOO COOL!"
He was so excited he practically vibrated, waving his hands wildly in front of him.
"Who is this incredibly hyper guy?" Lucy was startled by his bizarre entrance and quickly asked Ultear.
"That's Jason, a reporter for Weekly Sorcerer. He's the one who scheduled the interview for today," Mirajane explained with a strained smile. They had specifically asked Noah for details about the reporter last night.
"OHHH! It's not just Erza! Mirajane, Ultear, Sorano, Wendy, Yukino, AND Meredy are all here too! COOL—! COOL! SO COOL!"
Jason finally registered the other famous faces sitting with Erza, and his excitement levels breached the stratosphere.
"Wah!" Wendy-kun and the younger girls shrank back, intimidated by Jason's explosive enthusiasm.
Without missing a beat, Jason launched straight into his interview. "Ooh, Erza, your outfits seem very different from your usual style today?"
"Mhm. Since we heard you were coming for an interview, we made sure to dress up specifically for the occasion. What do you think? Beautiful, aren't they?" Sorano smiled at Jason.
"COOL—!"
"Please make sure to take good pictures of us," Mirajane requested with a sweet smile.
"COOL—!"
Jason's camera flashed rapidly as he snapped picture after picture of the girls. He made sure to get solo shots of almost everyone.
Mirajane noticed that Jason took very few pictures of Lucy compared to the rest of them.
"Erza, could I ask you to change back into your usual combat armor?" Jason requested suddenly.
"Hm? But I went through the trouble of wearing this special dress..."
Despite her mild protest, Erza didn't refuse. With a flash of Requip magic, her elegant dress was replaced by her standard Heart Kreuz armor.
"NO PROBLEM! This natural, combat-ready look is exactly what I was hoping for!" Jason cheered, enthusiastically snapping photos of her armored form.
"If it's convenient, could I ask you two or three questions?" Jason asked after finishing his photoshoot of Erza.
"I suppose that's fine..."
"How many different armors do you currently have in your Requip spatial storage?!" Jason fired off immediately.
"Over one hundred."
"COOL—! And which one is your absolute favorite?!"
"Probably the Bunny Girl outfit."
"B-Bunny Girl?!"
"Because the ears are very cute."
"COOOOOOOOOL—! And what is your favorite food?!"
"Strawberry cake and soufflés are my absolute favorites."
Jason scribbled furiously in his notepad, recording every word. He then whipped his head around to face Mirajane.
"Question! Exactly how many mountain peaks can you obliterate with a single punch while in your Satan Soul form?!"
Mirajane froze. In an instant, her sweet smile vanished, replaced by an aura of absolute, terrifying darkness.
During a past S-Class mission, Mirajane had indeed leveled a mountain peak with a single punch while fully transformed into Satan Soul. Jason was clearly referencing that specific incident.
"I don't know," Mirajane answered, her voice completely devoid of emotion.
"Wah! So scary!" Wendy-kun, the younger girls, and Lucy huddled together, terrified by the sudden murderous aura radiating from Mirajane.
"I think Mira wants to obliterate the reporter's head with a single punch right now," Lucy whispered frantically to Wendy-kun and the others.
"Mhm! Mhm!" Wendy-kun and her friends nodded furiously in agreement.
Oblivious to his imminent demise, Jason turned to Sorano. "Rumor has it that while you summon Angels, your actual combat behavior is more akin to a Demon! Is this true?!"
"Of course not! My actions are purely angelic," Sorano replied with a dazzling, innocent smile.
While Sorano did summon Angelic Spirits, the sheer devastation she caused during her missions often rivaled Mirajane's. Hence, the rumors that her actions were demonic.
"COOL—!" Jason shouted, instantly pivoting to Ultear. "Why do you frequently leave behind massive icebergs at your mission locations?!"
"T-Those are all accidents! Purely accidental!" Ultear stuttered, a faint blush appearing on her cheeks.
After completing a strenuous mission, she often forgot to properly clean up the residual ice generated by her Time Arc and Ice-Make magic. Consequently, massive icebergs that took weeks to melt were a common sight at her past job sites. While the locals loved them during the scorching summer, they were significantly less popular during the freezing winter.
"COOL—!" Jason scribbled down their answers at lightning speed before turning his attention to Wendy-kun, Yukino-kun, and Meredy-kun. "Aside from going on missions, do you three usually hang out and act together?!"
"Phew..."
Wendy-kun and the girls let out a collective sigh of relief. They had been terrified Jason was going to ask them the same kind of highly destructive, embarrassing questions he had asked the older girls.
"Yes, we do. We all live together, so we usually do everything together," Meredy-kun, being the oldest of the three, answered for them.
"COOL—!"
Jason yelled, then suddenly stood up and began scanning the rest of the guild hall for his next interview target, completely and utterly ignoring Lucy, who was sitting right next to Meredy-kun.
"EH—?! Why isn't he interviewing me?!" Lucy stared in absolute shock as Jason looked left and right, clearly searching for anyone but her.
"Ugh... I really have zero fame, don't I..." Lucy slumped over the table, crying anime tears of pure despair.
"Pfft!" Happy, who was sitting nearby, covered his mouth to stifle a laugh.
"Don't you dare laugh at me!!" Lucy snapped, glaring at the blue cat.
"OH—!! HAPPY!! Why are you blue?!"
Hearing the commotion, Jason spotted Happy and instantly rushed over to shove his microphone in the cat's face.
"Because I'm a cat," Happy answered deadpan, sitting on the table.
"I lost to a cat!!" Lucy sobbed, burying her head in her arms. Her pride was in tatters.
"CARLA!! Why are you white?!" Jason immediately pivoted to Carla, who was sitting next to Happy.
"What a stupid question," Carla sneered, looking at Jason like he was a complete idiot.
"COOL—!"
Jason, entirely unfazed by the insult, practically danced with joy. He then resumed his frantic scanning of the guild hall, hunting for his next victim.
"Sigh..." Lucy let out a long, depressed sigh.
Seeing Lucy so down, Mirajane's aura finally normalized, and she asked gently, "Did you really want Jason to interview you? Logically speaking, given your background, you shouldn't lack opportunities to be famous."
"It's not that. I want to become famous as the Mage Lucy. Not as Lucy Heartfilia, the heiress," Lucy shook her head, explaining her frustration.
~~~
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