Min-ho
I'm speechless.
Really. I don't even know if I'm breathing.
Jade's performance pulverized me, ripped out my lungs, and crushed my heart.
Her singing, the raw timbre on Lady Gaga's lyrics, completely captivated me.
It's as if it were just us, as if she'd whispered word for word in my ear, triggering an excitement and tremor I'd never felt before.
My back is sweating and I'm short of breath.
"But... was she singing it for me?" Jon-Ho asks, puzzled, frowning. "She was looking at me... I don't understand. Is she a reb3llious?"
His words wake me up, followed by Seo Joon's laughter.
"She's a reb3llious, yes, but she was singing for all of us. I think she made each of us feel special," he replies, secretly nudging me. "Hyeongje, hurry up and vote, they're closing the answers."
I quickly click on the vote and sigh.
I can't escape this web I've gotten caught in.
I know how I feel and I understand what has upset Jon-Ho; his sensitive soul, despite acting tough in public, must have been deeply affected.
I pat him on the shoulder and try to compose myself.
I'll have to answer for all this, but right now I'm frozen.
What she's made to me is a real statement, and I don't know how to respond.
I feel overwhelmed by a feeling that isn't mine, shocked by what my body feels, and even my saliva has dried up.
What are you to me, Jade? I ask myself in fear. A sudden storm, a violent downpour that passes and destroys, or a wonderful field of flowers that bathes my life?
I have no idea, and I continue to struggle with this jumble of thoughts as the performances continue on stage.
It's when the last candidate finishes, during another break, that we hear a loud scream that makes us jump.
We rush out of our seats and rush to the refreshment area, where a lot of people are crowded together. I struggle to understand what's happened, but it seems like something serious has happened.
"But that's her," Jon-Ho exclaims, leaning forward, "our reb3llious!"
I jump at that realization and lean forward, trying to push my way through my colleagues and others.
Jade stands in front of Tae-Hyun, clearly embarrassed, while she, red-cheeked and disheveled, continues to point a finger at him.
What the hell happened? Did they fight again?
"This is a singing competition, not a street fight," Mr. Park says harshly. "I demand we return everything to civilized coexistence."
Jade shakes her head. She looks furious and shows no signs of calming down.
Ari and a couple of guys try to reason with her, but she doesn't listen.
"He called me a whore," he explodes, "and it's not the first time. And he raised his hands at me twice."
The other guy blushes and steps back, shaking his head violently.
I feel like I've been insulted.
What did he say to her?
I feel so angry I want to go and slap that bastard myself, but a hand on my arm stops me.
It's Seo Joon, holding me back and shaking his head.
"Stop, hyeongje, let things unfold," he whispers in my ear.
There are many exclamations, someone speaks, and a major chaos ensues.
"This is very serious," Lee Su-Heok replies, intervening. "Lee Yeona, are you okay?"
She nods and thanks me, but doesn't seem inclined to give up her position.
"We have to suspend the program, it's serious," says Mr. Park.
"No!"
Jade is the one who speaks, looking serious.
She pulls her hair back into a ponytail, raises her head, and, taking a step toward her opponent, says:
"Since you care so much about this show, seeing how much you're willing to do to get to the finals, go ahead. I'm leaving, I'm leaving."
Chaos breaks out, with shouts, exclamations, and insults drowning out everyone's voices.
Mr. Park looks like he's having a heart attack; his face is blue, and Ha-Eun rushes to support him.
"Yeona-a, you can't be serious!"
She smiles sadly, but nods.
"I know what I'm saying, Coach. Sorry if I'm disappointing you."
Ha-Eun grimaces in disappointment and shakes her head.
"You're denying yourself," he says in a disheartened tone.
"No, I'm honoring myself, taking back the dignity I deserve," she replies with a smile.
Then she turns to Mr. Park.
"I'm not leaving backstage, don't worry. Do you want your share? You'll get it."
She turns to the studio coordinator and asks:
"Am I in or out of the finals?"
The other shakes his head, but she insists. Only after Park gives his assent does he confirm in a low tone that she's among the ten finalists.
"Okay, then let's go on stage."
She heads toward the audience, followed by the astonished gazes of all of us.
"She's a queen, this girl," Seo Joon whispers to me in an admiring tone. "Just know that I love her."
I glare at him, but he follows Jon-Ho's comment.
"I don't know why, but I love her too."
Huffing, I run after her, ignoring the comments.
I catch up with her as she's talking to the sound engineer, who's staring at her in shock. He doesn't seem to want to listen, but she grabs his arm and insists.
The poor man stares at me pleadingly, so I intervene.
"What's the matter, Lee Yeona?"
I don't know why my tone is serious when I just want to scream, grab her in my arms, and drag her away from here.
She turns around in surprise, looks at me, and then asks in a serious tone:
"Coach, can you do something for me? Can you ask Mr. Oh to follow my instructions and guarantee that I don't want to harm the contest?"
I stare at her for a few moments, then nod.
I don't know what she's up to, but I trust her, so I reassure the man.
"What do you want to do?"
She seems lost in thought, as if she's studying a new choreography, but then she remembers I asked her a question and replies:
"Increase the show's ratings and leave with a bang."
She says this with a smile, and I raise my eyebrow.
"Do you really want to leave?"
She nods.
"I finally figured out my place. And it's not here." She bows and then asks: "Can you ask the other Reb3ls members to please a fan by singing one last song with me?"
I nod thoughtfully, while my classmates fall in line behind me.
Jade waves goodbye and leaves, while I explain her request to the boys.
They both agree, but they have the same worried look on their faces.
Jade, crazy Jade, what are you doing?