Michael's first proper call with Kaido immediately began with attacking him using ethics and morality as weapons.
Everyone present was completely stunned.
Who the hell starts a king-to-king, commander-to-commander showdown with that kind of verbal insult?
"To be honest, I don't really understand what Michael's doing…" Jack shook his head. "But damn if it isn't satisfying."
"I feel the same."
Yamato crossed her arms and nodded seriously.
"How are all the children Father raised like this?" Kozuki Toki's lips twitched, then she glanced at Momonosuke and Hiyori.
"You two… absolutely must not learn this behavior from your grandpa, okay!"
After speaking, she lifted her gaze toward Michael.
She was ready to hear how Michael planned to confront Kaido next…
Only to see Michael joyfully take full advantage of the situation—and then immediately hang up the Den Den Mushi.
"Hah?"
Everyone present—men, women, young, old—made the same confused sound.
"N-Nonono, this isn't right, is it?" Kozuki Oden tilted his head, thinking hard. "I know trading insults is part of psychological warfare… but why the hell did he just hang up?"
Michael glanced around and showed a mysterious smile.
Insult first.
Disconnect instantly.
The most efficient way to enrage the opponent.
This was also the first time Michael realized that the tactics used by online trolls… were honestly pretty damn fun sometimes.
"What's the rush? After I insulted him that badly, you think Kaido's just going to let it go?"
Sure enough, only a few seconds after Michael finished talking, the Den Den Mushi rang again.
"Buru buru buru… buru buru buru…"
Click.
Michael answered smoothly, smiling.
"Kaido, how are you feeling right now?"
"…Michael, I'm going to kill you."
"Get in line… Lots of people want me dead. Who the hell do you think you are?"
Michael's arrogant voice and provocative taunts made everyone around look at him differently.
"So uh… if I'm not mistaken, we're supposed to be the good guys, right?" Jack scratched one of his long horns. "Then why… is his vibe so punchable?"
"Whether it's punchable or not…" Kozuki Toki looked at Michael's animated expression and laughed softly, "I know Father is definitely very happy right now."
If in a verbal battle, one side is happy…
Then the other side's mood is definitely…
Not beautiful.
Kaido had already subconsciously released a bit of his Conqueror's Haki.
But in the end, he still forcibly suppressed his urge to rampage.
"All right, Michael. What exactly do you want to say? If you're just trying to anger me, congratulations—you've done it. You and I… will not rest until one of us dies!"
"Tut tut tut, haven't we already been in a death feud for more than ten years?" Michael said with a squinting smile. "After all, kicking you out of Wano, and making Yamato my daughter—those were all my handiwork."
"Of course I know. I also know that behind the scenes, the one who stirred things up and helped Whitebeard and Charlotte Linlin formally establish nations… was also you!" Kaido's voice grew lower and lower.
"What exactly are you plotting… on this sea? Once the Marine Chief Inspector, the famous 'Gintaka,' and now the Chief of Staff of the Revolutionary Army… Every major world event over these years—there always seems to be one hidden hand behind it."
"And that hand… is you, Michael!"
"No matter what you're scheming, one thing I'm certain of…"
"You're the biggest obstacle standing in my way!"
Michael shook his head and smiled lightly.
"You and I aren't the same. I never thought of you as an obstacle… just a stray guy on the roadside I can kick to death whenever I feel like it."
"But this stray guy thinks that by finding other abandoned guys as allies, he can defeat me?"
"I'm in Wano. You want Wano's rule, don't you? Then bring your pack of worthless mutts and challenge me!"
"Those delusional fantasies in your head… tsk tsk."
"I'll drag you back to reality."
Kaido paused for a moment, then suddenly grinned even wider.
"Is that so?"
"I also have a gift I can't wait to give you, Chief Inspector."
...
"Ugh! It hurts!"
In the dungeon, Weevil once again tried to break free from the Seastone shackles piercing through his clavicle and scapula.
But under the searing pain, it was all but useless.
"I absolutely can't stay here…"
"I may be dumb, but even I know—I can't drag Pops and Michael down!"
Weevil muttered to himself, as if giving himself courage.
At the same time, he gathered the little strength he had left, preparing for another attempt to break free.
At that moment, a woman's voice sounded from the dark depths of the dungeon.
"I advise you not to waste your effort. Even if you snap your collarbone and scapula trying to escape… you'll lose all ability to fight."
Though slightly hoarse, she still sounded overall in decent condition.
But Weevil could never understand that. He just stupidly looked left and right, and when he saw no one, the crystal pendant on his nose drooped even longer.
"G-Ghost! A ghost!"
"What nonsense! I'm obviously a human!"
"If you're human, why can't I see you!?"
"Because I'm in the other cell, you idiot!"
"You can't call me an idiot! I'm just… not very smart!"
"Ugh, forget it. Arguing with you lowers my dignity, and it feels like I'm bullying a dumb kid…" The woman sighed. Her voice wasn't far away.
"You must be Whitebeard Pirates' Second Division Commander, Weevil, right?"
"H-How do you know!?"
"…That traitor from your Whitebeard Pirates comes every day to mock you. How could I not know?" She sighed again, then continued, "Take my advice. For now, use all your time to recover your injuries. Don't try to break free anymore… Afterward, I will help you."
"You'll help me? Who are you?"
"You're asking who I am?"
The woman's voice suddenly jumped an octave.
"I am the Marine Vice Admiral codenamed 'Empress,' Boa Hancock!"
"You sound impressive, but you're still locked up here…" Weevil muttered under his breath.
"Shut up! I'm only… only infiltrating the enemy using this method! That's right!"
"All of this was part of my plan!"
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Fanfic is finished. 583 chapters in total on p@treon/tambeerg