Messy, so disgustingly filthy.
Suddenly Harry find himself in his childhood bed room. Looking around he can't help but smile, remembering the hell he managed to escape. Sprawled across the floor is dirty clothes, plates, and empty soda cans. In the room is a single mattress without a frame on the floor with a small plastic shelf next to it. Anime themed posters line the walls, a small collection of figurines sitting on the oddly clean small desk across from his bed. After looking around he decides to exit and explore to see how much has been recreated. The second he does, he sees two familiar figures sitting on the coffee stained couch in the trash filled living room. Thomas and Harold look at him with clear trepidation in their eyes
Seeing him, Thomas speaks first. "We found the stomach, I must ask that you present it peacefully." In response, Harry flips him the middle finger, not giving Harold the opportunity to speak, "Fuck off, if you want it you'll have to get through me." Harold lets out an annoyed sigh before speaking. "My dear fr-" Harry interrupts him, flipping the middle finger again. "Not your friend." Defeated, Harold looks down with a slight pout. Seeing this Thomas puts on a weak smile before speaking up. "We cannot die but you can. A fight with us is certain doom so why resist."
Glare.
"If I'm so doomed then why are you two trying to negotiate?"
Thomas and Harold shrug, looking above them to the stars in the void. Annoyed, Harry tries to open a door back to Lindbourough. Unfortunately, "She" won't let him. Instantly, a tear opens up in the sky above. A severed head blooms form a massive iris flower. It has no eyes, skin, or hair. Even so, there's something eerily alive in its presence. Before Harry can do or say anything the duo vanish from the seat. Looking at the head Harry feels a familiar warmth and odd sensation in eyes.
"P-plea-please s-stop i-it."
Suddenly, Harry stands at the entrance hallway. In front of him a pitch black shadow is beating a small child with shoes and hangers. The child, despite looking nothing like Harry, has the same presence. He's lying on the ground folded in on himself, his arms cross across his tear filled face. The shadow isn't strong, there's no real pain but it's screaming something, just, Harry can't hear it. Even so he knows what it's saying, he could never forget.
C'mon, hit me I know you want to.
Stop looking at me like that, you're the one that messed up.
If you had just stayed quiet this wouldn't have happened.
Instantly Harry's face goes cold. Without a moment of hesitation he grabs the shadow by the neck and slams it onto the ground. The boy reacts with clear fear, going still and gazing at Harry wide eyes. Seeing his younger self a self deprecating smile appears on his face. Gently patting the kids head he walks out the front door, making sure to leave a few parting words.
"Everything will be okay lil man, just go and enjoy your sentai shows and by the morning it'll all be over."
Beyond the door lies an infinite corridor of branching brick walls without a roof. Iris flowers bloom and fade from the grassy ground as a weak light shimmers down from the stars in the purple and black star-filled sky.
Shift.
Suddenly the corridors shrink. Then they expand. From infinity to nothing they keep changing in form, the only consistent theme being the glimmers of objects from Harry's past, almost like an evershifting maze of memories. Taking his first step he's immediately sent to another bad memory. This time he's in his old high school on his way home. A little kid walks on a large side-walk. His head's down and his shoulders are slumped. Unlike the other kids his clothes are clearly aged, his backpack just being a small bag to hang on his shoulder. Despite it all he's happy listening to his music on his headphones.
Normally he'd cut through the small patch of trees to a secret hang out spot he would go to but the second he arrives at the entrance he sees the area under construction. One of the workers sees him and tells him to go away. He does but even so he can't help but be sad, it was a place all for him.
Forever gone.
Harry immediately walks up to the kid and gently pats his head, letting out a few small words. "We'll find another home, lil man, for now. Just suck up the numbness, I promise it won't be long." With a bright small he walks up to the fence and breaks it down, walking right through. Again and again Harry breaks through each memory with ease. "Bastards really think a little maze can break me. Can't break what's already broken!"
He breaks down the door of his home the nights he was locked out.
He eats the food he was denied when he was starving.
He breaks through those he couldn't escape.
In the end there's only one memory left between him and freedom. The one memory he can't become numb too no matter how hard he tries.
In front of him is the version of him that just turned twenty one. Unlike the current him, he;s incredibly fat. His curly black hair is greasy and his thick glasses are dirty as usual. Same as always, his room is a massive mess. This time he has an actual bed and enough furniture but despite being a small apartment it's not something someone should live in. Even so the younger him doesn't care, instead focusing on his pc. He's playing dark souls like usual, the same solo games with no one to talk to. Next to him, to the left of the keyboard is a bottle of unknown pills and a can of beer.
Suddenly, he speaks, ranting on to nothing and nobody but himself.
"Fuck me your pathetic aren't ya Harry. You know your room's a mess yet here you are playing dark souls. It'd be so much easier if everything wasn't so overwhelming, then again it's dumb to get overwhelmed by cleaning. It's not like I'm lazy…"
Taking a break he goes to the kitchen and makes a microwaved hamburger, returning to his desk while Harry watches on silently.
"What happened to being a hero…becoming a teacher and helping all those kids? Be the man you needed, not some loser on his own who flunked out of college stuck in a dead end fast food job."
For a few minutes he stares at the pills next to him, occasionally glancing at messenger to see if anyone might want to talk. After nothing he grabs the pills. His hands are firm, not a single shiver in sight. His eyes are flooded with determination, for once he's certain.
The cap comes off.
"I'm sorry everyone…I just can't do it anymore."
Suddenly, he stops.
Staring at the pills in his hands, he doesn't feel fear. Instead he feels an overwhelming emptiness. One tear falls, then another. Within moments he's clutching his face, silently sobbing to himself. "Fuck I'm so pathetic." He'll never be what he wants, he'll never stop being lonely, and he'll always be empty. Life is too painful. Harry looks at his younger self and frowns. For a brief moment his eyes water, a firm determination flooding his somber face a moment after. Before leaving he does exactly what he needed back then. Gently he moves to his younger self, looking at what he was before he moved worlds and changed his appearance, and he hugs him tightly.
"Look, I'm not gonna give you it's gonna be okay. The way it feels only the hollowness of it all is certain. Instead I'll say this. We can be okay, we can be happy, and we can have hope. Fuck will, instead think of can. We're hollow, but we'll never be empty. Now play some games and dm your friends, you're not alone."
Suddenly, messenger pings.
[Hey man, we're gonna run p8s. Wanna join?]
For a brief second the younger him stops crying. Phasing through Harry he sits back down, moving the pill bottle to the side. He still feels empty, but at least for now. He knows he can be okay, even for a moment the fact that moment can happen makes it worth trying.
A glimmer is still a light in the dark after all?
Looking at his old computer Harry lets out a nostalgic smile. Unfortunately, after five hundred years…
There's no one left alive he knew.
Still, he's not alone.
Thinking back to his short time with Crim and Will he wears a genuine smile. Looking at his past, the man he was, he feels the same emptiness he felt in the past. Still, despite the emptiness he can't let go. He can't let innocent people pay for Harold's mistake. A hero's job is to be a kind helpful person after all. Better to help the innocent than a desperate idiot drunk on his immortality.
Step.
A hero lives with a smile.
Step.
A hero fights not because he wishes to see happiness but because he wants to see sadness gone.
Step.
A hero fights with style, proud and confident.
The same door that held him back in his past is now in front him. Harry, seeing it puts on a bright smile and kicks it down. "I'm so kicking both your asses once I find you."
Freedom
Instantly the maze vanishes, a wide ocean spanning beyond the horizon appearing in it's place. Ignoring the raging storm and dancing waves around him Harry starts to open a door. Bright starlight floods out from his eyes as he looks beyond the veil. With clothes fluttering in the wind and rage flooding his outwardly calm mind he opens the door and prepares to protect his friends.
"A hero is nothing without his friends after all."