Chapter 35: The Vermilion Gym's Literary Battle
2024-05-15 Author: Samsung Charmander
"The challenge at our Vermilion City Gym has always been divided into a Literary Battle and a Martial Battle. As long as you win either one, you'll receive the spoils of a Gym victory, the Thunder Badge."
As he spoke, Lt. Surge displayed a badge shaped like a small sun, the sight of which made Ash itch with anticipation.
Wait a second.
A Literary Battle?
Ash furrowed his brow, wondering to himself what kind of scheme this was.
Could a Literary Battle have electrocuted that Rattata until it was crispy on the outside, tender and fragrant on the inside?
Even his underlings standing beside him looked completely bewildered.
So our notoriously unreasonable Vermilion City Gym actually had something like a Literary Battle?
Ash couldn't help but glance up at Lt. Surge's tall and imposing figure. It seemed that in a Literary Battle... he would indeed have the upper hand.
Over the past few days, he had taken the time to memorize the Type Effectiveness chart again and could probably recall about thirty percent of it. He felt much more confident now.
Soon, Lt. Surge shouted towards the back of the Gym.
An old man with a long white beard and a pair of large-framed sunglasses walked out.
His facial features were completely obscured, and he was holding a book.
He was less than a meter tall, and the moment he appeared, he stared intently at Pikachu. This made Ash secretly suspect that this person might be Team Rocket's Meowth in disguise.
"Ahem, this is the President of the Pokémon Club and also the honorary President of our Vermilion City Branch Electric Mouse Fan Club. He will serve as the Referee for this Literary Battle."
Lt. Surge introduced him.
"Hello, President."
Ash and his two companions quickly greeted him politely.
The President nodded at the sight and casually tossed Ash a piece of candy.
"This is a Rare Candy. It can make a Pokemon's muscles stronger. By the way, your Pikachu's physique is a little out of shape..."
Ash subconsciously unwrapped the candy and popped it into Pikachu's mouth.
"Pika..."
The latter chomped it down in a few bites, twitched its ears, but nothing unusual happened.
It was a fake.
The Literary Battle began.
"Ahem, this is all knowledge that a normal, qualified Trainer needs to know. Now, let the battle begin."
The President opened his thick book, his gaze sweeping over the two participants with great seriousness.
"Alright, first question: What Type is Pikachu?"
Hearing this, the corner of Ash's mouth lifted. What kind of question was this? Was he being insulted?
"It's Electric-type!"
He answered immediately, while Lt. Surge just pursed his lips nonchalantly, in no hurry to answer.
"One point to participant Ash. The score is now 1-0."
The President nodded and asked the next question:
"Second question: What is Pikachu's Ability?"
"?"
Ash's face suddenly stiffened. Come to think of it, he really didn't know what Pikachu's Ability was.
Pikachu usually liked to pull out its own bedsheet and blanket to sleep whenever it had nothing to do. Maybe its Ability was Truant?
It loves to eat, so maybe its Ability is Gluttony?
In the end, he could only stammer, hazarding an uncertain guess:
"Is it... Thick Fat?"
Seriously, is this really knowledge that a normal Trainer needs to master...?
"It's Static or Lightning Rod!"
Lt. Surge couldn't help but laugh, his tone then tinged with a hint of mockery:
"You don't even know your own Pikachu's Ability? That's not what I'd call a qualified Trainer."
Just as Ash was about to retort, the Pokedex in his pocket suddenly made a beeping sound.
"Pokedex Beep. Pikachu, a run-of-the-mill Pokemon. Ability: Thick Fat."
Lt. Surge: "?"
For a moment, even the Pokémon Club President was stunned. He looked down at the physique of Ash's Pikachu, hesitating for a long while.
A Pokedex is an instrument that has never been known to lie.
Could it be... a Mutation?
In the end, the President could only skip the question. The score remained 1-0.
"Third question: What Item does a Pikachu need to evolve into a Raichu?"
Upon hearing this, Ash jolted and quickly answered:
"Haha, I know this one! It's an Electric Amplifier!"
Lt. Surge, the President: "?"
"Pokedex Beep. Pikachu's evolution item: Electric Amplifier."
The Pokedex added another line, as if to increase its owner's persuasiveness.
Lt. Surge, the President: ???
The previous question had already confused them. For a second, they even had the thought that they might actually be the ones who were wrong.
But the answer to this question was definitely a Thunder Stone.
Lt. Surge's own Raichu had evolved that way; there was no mistake about it.
So the source of all evil was that Pokedex. It was truly misleading the youth.
The score became 1-2. The President retroactively awarded the point for the Ability question to Lt. Surge, and he even felt like smashing the Pokedex.
"Fourth question: What is the optimal food ratio for a Pikachu?"
Ash: "?"
This time, he finally saw the cover of the book the President was holding.
"Electric Mouse Breeding Manual"
To hell with "common knowledge for a normal Trainer"!
But he had to bite the bullet and go on. Ash once again stammered out a tentative guess:
"Eat more meat, fewer vegetables?"
"It's 70% specialized Electric Mouse Rations, 25% fruits and seeds, and 10% snacks! It seems you have no idea how to raise an Electric Mouse Pokémon at all."
Lt. Surge recited it fluently, scoring another point.
Ash: ...
Isn't there a problem with the sum of your percentages?
After that, Ash's defeat was as swift as a landslide. The following questions—about things like how to rub its belly to prevent depression and measures to prevent heatstroke—were things he had never even heard of.
Even the final, ultimate question—"What is the optimal position for an Electric Mouse Pokémon during XX?"—made him blush beet red.
The score was 1-9. It was a close loss, you could say.
Aside from knowing Pikachu's Type in the first question, Ash didn't score a single other point.
"Youth, you are not a qualified Electric Mouse Trainer. Why don't you just release it?"
After the match, the President even offered this "reasonable" suggestion, which finally made Ash snap.
"Hmph! Who needs all that textbook knowledge? As long as Pikachu is happy, that's what's most important! Am I right, Pikachu?!"
"Pika...?"
Pikachu tilted its head at him. As it watched, its yellow face suddenly and inexplicably flushed red, and it shyly looked away from Ash.
It was still thinking about the 'knowledge' from that final question.
"Pikachu, you...!"
Ash's breath hitched, and he trembled with anger.
Finally, he slapped his own cheeks, clenched his fists to rally himself, and shouted:
"A real man fights head-on! What's this nonsense about a Literary Battle? It's ridiculous! Even if I had won, I wouldn't accept this Badge!"
Of course, if he had won, that would be a different story.
Seeing this, Lt. Surge's own battle spirit was ignited by Ash. He clapped his hands, and his underlings quickly cleared an open space for a battle.
"Although you lost the Literary Battle, if you win in a Pokemon battle, you can still earn my Thunder Badge."
"The rule for this battle is one-on-one, and the champion I'm sending out is my Raichu!"
"Raichu!!"
The Raichu, which had been watching from the sidelines, stepped forward. It bumped its two thick, brownish-yellow fists together, the electric sacs on its cheeks crackling with an electric current.
In truth, it was also annoyed by its master's so-called "Literary Battle" theory.
He was always talking about "positions, positions." Couldn't he just take it out for a real battle one of these days?
Hmph, I'll take out my frustration on this little Electric Mouse today!
"Raichu~!"
Raichu beckoned with its finger toward the Pikachu, which was still blushing and contemplating the meaning of life.
"Stop spacing out, Pikachu! We have to win this time!!"
Ash's voice made Pikachu jolt and snap back to its senses.
"Pika!"
It took a deep breath, puffed out its small belly, and slowly walked up to Raichu, its eyes filled with determination.
Time to clock in for work!
The two Electric Mice walked to the center of the Battle Arena and pressed their bellies together, neither willing to back down, sparks flying from their eyes...