"I love them so much to the extent that I want to kill them."
AEIZEN'S / SEYAH MIAJE'S POV
Rochedan and I face Third and Rochedan's twin. I keep forgetting their actual names. I guess I'm bad at names, or they must be unimportant to me. Maybe that's why I didn't bother memorizing them. They will be dead in no time anyway.
Third and I are the only two who are willing to kill each other because these two are blood related. I don't know if Rochedan will fight her or what.
"I think we should start," Third spoke first. He fiddles with his eyeglasses.
"'Can we just not do this, p-please?" Fourth pleaded.
This is not called a fight if there is no one to kill. I'm eager to kill with my katana. I am exhilarated to feel how hard or soft a person's skin, flesh, and fat are. I am getting fired up to see that there is a viscous, warm, and reddish liquid flowing into my glowing weapon. I am getting anxious to hear human screams and cries.
"Rochevel, brother is just here, okay?" Rochedan told her crying twin. Ah, yes Rochevel is the name of that feeble girl. No wonder I forget easily because their names almost sound the same.
What else are these two doing?
"This battle will be nothing if none of us will attack first," Third must be initiating an attack. I like his cockiness and straightforward way of setting things up. At least he's not a coward unlike my partner.
Rochedan protects her whiny sister too much. That girl infuriates me just watching her wail all the time. She doesn't deserve to be in battle 10 alive and weeping. But what irritates me the most is when she gets comforted by anyone. I despise someone who's a coward and will drag someone to save them out of misery. How can that girl get her grip if someone's always there to spoon-feed her? They love each other so much that they don't want to hurt each other. What a drama.
When it comes to me, if I love someone so much... I want to kill that person.
My memories are coming back. The missing puzzle pieces are coming together about who I am. I was born and named Seyah Miaje. Who would have thought I even have a name and real human being. I am the youngest. I have three brothers, and a sister who is the eldest. We have parents who don't really care about us. I'm used to it.
My parents are always fighting over money. My father, a good-for-nothing househusband, is narrow-minded and fond of showing anger in unsettling ways. He is a mad man, full of himself, self-righteous, lacks empathy, conceited and takes advantage of my mother's kindness. If he sermon us, it'll last for the whole night at least. We are not allowed to sleep because he threatens to kill us if we do. He smashes our stuff and throws it everywhere to assert dominance. My father loves to dwell in the past. He didn't want to let go of the issues from years ago my mother did. His age has left his brain which remains immature in a body of an old man that doesn't evolve as a human being with character development. His physical body has already aged contradicting his traditional beliefs that still linger in the past. Despite being a useless husband and a father, to him, he's someone that we should respect because he is still our father. Worst, in addition to hurting us physically, he also hurt us psychologically and emotionally. He cursed us that we would not prosper in life, that we would suffer, that our dreams would never come true. It would have been okay if it came from a stranger, but it came from our father's mouth. From that day on, I bestowed hatred on him. Of all the fathers in the world, I must have been the most cursed one to be his daughters.
And here is my naive mother, she doesn't want to leave our father. She is a religious maniac who bows to her demon husband. She seeks peace and harmony by letting herself and children be abused for the sake of not letting our religious image down. She values more her good portrayal of a Godly and loving family as her testimony to other people like we're living the best life with the best parents. Despite this violence, she loves her husband more than her children, her flesh and blood. Such immorality must not be tolerated and the one who does is worse than the perpetrator. Maybe she's waiting for our father to kill us before she'll see the light against the darkness. What can I say, a masochist and a sadist are indeed a perfect match made from hell. My siblings and I are the byproduct of those two couples the demon matched. If only the two of them never meet, none of us would ever exist—none of us would suffer like this.
If other children don't want their parents to separate, it's a different story for me. I would rather have a peaceful broken family than a complete but dysfunctional family. We may look like a fresh apple with a shiny peel, but its inside is rotten.
Even my life outside my family has been cursed. My best friend left me. We have known each other for a few months, and I really considered her a real friend. I am a timid person, but I became more open when she became my friend. But little by little I felt that her treatment of me was getting colder until I saw that she was with her other friends. I heard that she was disgusted with me being her boring companion. I avoided her and forgot I had a friend. Since then, I have returned to isolating myself. I'm not making friends because I know they'll leave me too, it's better to be alone than to have fake friends.
One night while thinking about my depressing life, I looked at my older sister sleeping in our room after our parents quarreled. I pulled out a knife behind me that I got in the kitchen. I thought of stabbing my sister. This is to finally stop our suffering. I am the only one who is capable of doing this because I have the greatest wrath among us. This is the only solution, so I volunteer to do it in the fastest way possible. My brother will be next, and I'll be the last to die. I want to end my siblings' lives because I love them so much to the extent that I want to kill them. I am doing them a favor.
What an ill-fated real world is. A ray of light has shone. I never thought that I would be a candidate to play this game. I feel delight playing this game. This is the first time I have felt alive.
We're still standing here and feeling who will be the first to attack. Third tipped and aimed his pistol at Rochedan's head. Now this is what I want to see. I'm getting thrilled just watching Third's murderous intent. We must be partners instead. If we are, we have killed Rochedan and his twin in a blink of an eye.
Fourth shuddered to hold her katana. Tch, what a waste of katana wielded by a wimp. We even have the same weapon. This kind of weapon is not in the likes of her. We might have the same weapon, but the wielders are totally different with no trace of similarity. I want to finish this. I'll just kill her first then. My right hand clenched holding my katana. I'm just waiting for the timing. Third nodded and I left Rochedan staring. He was being too kind and cowardly. They really are siblings indeed. It's okay for me to kill Rochevel so that she and Rochedan can be finally together until death. I'm doing them a favor probably no one can do.
I am so getting pumped on the twins. Aside from being annoyed by Rochevel, I want to break their bond.