They stepped out onto a large terrace overlooking the surrounding landscape, from which the low roofs of the buildings could be seen.
Belinda turned to Bill, ready for an argument and with a very determined expression on her face. "Come on, let's finish this discussion the way you want!"
"Things will never end with you, Bel! You never finish anything, you leave everything up in the air: your life, your career, your loved ones."
"How dare you? I've finished many more things in my life than you: studying, spending time with my family, looking after my sister and brother," she shouted resentfully. "And if you're talking about music, know that I finished it the way I wanted: being myself, free to create and not a slave to money! I finish everything that interests me!"
"So it's me you're not interested in!" he snapped, gesturing. "You could have said that right away, right? I wouldn't have wasted time!"
"Wasted time?" She laughed sarcastically. "Do what, Bill? Show me your affection? Are you capable of that? You only loved yourself, you loved me for being there, looking at you adoringly, telling you how special you are, how good you are! I looked like an idiot, like all those crazy people you drag around the world with you!"
"If you had serious feelings for me, you wouldn't say that."
"You… you… My God, how self-centered you are! How could I not understand this all this time? You're blind, damn it! And a blind person can't see what's right in front of them, not even if it's shining in neon! Even your mother noticed how I feel for you, and she only saw me once!"
Bill stopped to stare at her, surprised. "What? What are you talking about?"
"Do you feel your stupidity? You live in the center of your own light like a God among men, without noticing what others do for you! All the love your band, your friends, your brother have for you!" She rolled her eyes. "Oh, but don't worry about your mother. Even for her, unfortunately, I'm not worthy of her adorable son!"
She turned to reach the balcony and stared out at the landscape.
She felt like she was shouting into the wind, so ineffective was her message getting through to Bill. How could she not understand?
The boy reached her and grabbed her arm, turning her around. "What are you talking about? When did you talk?"
"When do you think?" he snorted, freeing his arm.
"Stop treating me like an idiot!" he shouted, shaking her. "Why did you talk to my mother without my knowledge?"
"Should I have asked your permission? Don't worry, this time I have a good excuse: she was the one who called me to tell me she didn't think I was up to par with you, happy?"
"What the hell is wrong with you women? You can't spend more than half an hour in a room without snapping at each other?" he asked annoyed. "Why did she tell you that? I don't understand!"
"Maybe because, like all mothers, she loves you." Belinda softened her tone and tried to smile. "She was just worried about our friendship."
"I didn't tell her anything about you that would justify this, Bel. I swear!"
"It doesn't matter... I think she understood more than we did."
"But understood what? Didn't it occur to any of you to ask me what I thought? Did you decide that only the two of you understood the situation?"
"I know exactly how you feel, Bill, but maybe it's not enough for me, don't you think?" she asked, looking at him in bewilderment. "You told me it was up to me to understand and decide."
Bill grabbed her arms and held her still so he could look at her. "And you've decided for me too? It's only what you feel that matters, right?"
"Stop shaking me and touching me!" Belinda rebelled.
"Why?" Bill asked angrily, one step away from her face. "Tell me why it's bothering you lately when I touch you."
"Because I hate myself for how I feel when you're near me!" she blurted out, bursting into tears. "I don't want you, I don't want to feel anything for you! It makes me angry knowing that you're not just what others see and can't be yourself. Even when I'm in your arms, I have to ask myself if I can run my hand through your hair, without fear of ruining your perfect image."
He stared at her with wide eyes for a few moments.
"Leave me alone!" she shouted again. "You will always love only yourself, you will never be able to love me for who I am! You will always want to change me, control me, direct my life... And I hate you for it."
With a sharp tug, she freed herself and collapsed to the ground, hugging her knees and crying desperately.
He didn't care anymore. She had told him, that's it!
No more promises she couldn't keep, no more lies about her feelings. Now she knew what she felt and could go to hell, with her glitter and painted nails.
Bill stared at her for long moments, without speaking. After a few moments, he made a move to kneel beside her, but Belinda jerked backward, slamming into the balcony, and glared at him with her moist eyes. "I don't want to hear you, Bill! I don't want to talk to you, and don't touch me!"
"The discussion isn't over," he replied through gritted teeth.
"Oh, yes it is!" she declared fiercely. "Can you tell me just one thing that will make me understand I'm wrong? Surprise me, tell me you'll accept Belinda's all-inclusive package!"
Bill studied her for a long time and then, very slowly, shook his head.
"I know I'm making the right choice for you, but I don't think I'm what you deserve."
"And so you've decided for me too! With that, we've said everything," Belinda replied, lowering her head and resting it on her knees, her sobs shaking her.
After a few moments, she heard his footsteps moving away and the door closing softly.
She felt alone in the world, as she had never felt before, not even when Alex had destroyed her. She began to rock slowly, hoping the pain in her chest and throat would soon fade.
Feeling so blatantly rejected, just because she was herself, with her ideals, her hesitations, and her prejudices, made her feel fragile. She knew she wasn't perfect, sometimes even a little over the top, but she wanted to believe there was still something sacred in the world, something priceless... and instead Bill thought she was a failure, a stupid, provincial girl.
She had confessed her love to him, she had told him that her mother had understood it too, but he had only professed his altruism in guiding her life as if he were a prophet and her savior.
I hate him! I hate him… No, damn it! I love him and I want to kill him! Stupid, stupid, stupid boy! she thought.
A long time passed before the tears dried up, and Belinda, looking at the time, realized she had to keep her promise.
She returned to the living room, first stopping in the bathroom to freshen her face and remove her makeup, which, both from the heat and the tears, was ruined.
She blew her nose, dabbed her forehead and neck, and finally, forcing a tight smile, she went out to look for Tom. She couldn't find him anywhere, and running into Naomi, she asked if she had heard from him.
"Yes, he was with Klaus in that room over there!" she said.
"Could you please call him? I'll be waiting in the booth for the live radio broadcast!" she asked tiredly.
The girl nodded and walked away. Belinda took a deep breath: she no longer felt like staying, but she couldn't bring herself to go back on her word.
She turned the doorknob and entered, joining the technicians and trying to be interested in what they were telling her.
Meanwhile, Naomi had checked the room, but there was no sign of Tom. Where could he have gone? He had disappeared in an instant!
She walked down the corridor and, passing in front of a door that was ajar, heard a hoarse laugh. Surprised, she stopped: it seemed to be Tom's.
Without thinking, she pushed the door and stopped suddenly: Ingrid had her arms around the boy, and he was smiling at her with his head tilted.
She felt a chill freeze her legs, her head telling her to run away. She didn't make a move, but Ingrid turned at that moment and saw her. Tom jumped and let his arms fall to his side.
Naomi stared at him in dismay, her face pale, her lips compressed. She recovered and backed away toward the exit. "Excuse me."
Tom called her. "Naomi, wait!"
Naomi stiffened. "What do you want?" she asked in an icy voice.
Her eyes had darkened, her voice was sharp, and her rigid posture made her seem taller. He was taken aback for a moment, but then recovered. "Did you need anything?"
"Yes, Belinda was looking for you for the radio show." She stared at him disdainfully. "She's asking if you can join her as soon as you're free."
"Yes, Ingrid and I were finished," she replied, moving closer to follow her.
"There's no such rush!" she said sharply and closed the door in his face, walking quickly down the corridor.
He didn't hear the door reopen, only his anger growing almost violently. She wanted to smash everything.
How stupid! What had she thought? That he'd sworn eternal love for her for a simple kiss? Deluded!
Everything had been nice up until then, and he hadn't even waited for her to leave before immediately looking for someone else: he'd thrown himself on the first blonde shark who'd surfaced on the shore, circling him. Now he knew why she hadn't liked that girl from the start: she was a damned man-eater!
She walked, increasingly quickly, toward the cabin, where she informed her sister that she'd found Tom and that she'd be out for a bit.
"What's wrong?" Belinda asked, noticing her angry look.
"We can't leave early, can we, Linda?"
"What happened?"
"Who do you want to take him away from you?" huh? You sure are right with your predictions! Forget about men, Linda, you don't know them at all!"
Naomi snorted and headed for the parking lot, where she passed Bill, who was staring out thoughtfully.
"Your brother's an asshole!" she barked as she walked past him, slamming the door.
"Well, your sister isn't joking either!" he replied, leaning against the window.