Ended up on the roof again.
Didn't mean to. Just started walking and my feet brought me here. Rain's barely coming down now, just enough to make everything damp and cold. Amegakure looks the same as always from up here. Gray buildings, people moving around with their heads down. Nothing new.
I sat down and pulled my cloak around me.
Four years. Or something like that. I stopped keeping track a while ago.
When I left Konoha I was pissed. Really pissed. Danzo had been on my ass for years, trying to use me or get rid of me, and the village just… let it happen. They sent me out to kill people and then acted surprised when I got good at it. So I killed him. Walked into his little hideout and ended it. Felt right at the time. Still does, mostly. He deserved it.
After that I just left. Didn't really have a plan. Minato tried to stop me. Kakashi and Obito too. I didn't want to hear it. Figured if I stayed they'd just find another way to use me. Maybe I was right. Maybe I was just being stubborn. Hard to tell now.
Then I found Madara.
That whole thing still feels weird to think about. Three years in that cave with him. He was already half-dead when I got there. Didn't even look surprised when I told him I was his grandson. Just kind of… accepted it. We didn't talk much some days. Other days he'd go on about Hashirama and how everything went to shit. I mostly listened.
He pushed me hard. Harder than anyone else ever did. Some of the stuff he made me do I still don't like remembering. But I got stronger. A lot stronger. And when he finally died, he looked almost relieved. Like he was glad it was over.
I buried him myself. Still go back there sometimes when I need to clear my head. Nobody else knows where it is.
After that I didn't know what to do with myself. Wandered around for a bit. Helped some people, killed some others. Ran into Pakura again when she was about to die. Almost left her. Didn't. She stuck around after that.
Then Amegakure happened.
Yahiko, Nagato, and Konan were already here trying to do something. They didn't trust me at first. Can't blame them. I wouldn't have trusted me either. But they listened, eventually. Now we've got this place. People. A name. It's not Konoha. It's not supposed to be. Some days it still feels like I'm doing the same shit, just somewhere else.
I think about the village more than I want to.
Not the big stuff. Little things. Training with Kakashi when we were kids and he'd get annoyed when I kept up with him. Shisui laughing at dumb jokes. Kushina yelling at me to eat more. Tsunade patching me up and calling me an idiot. Kurenai looking at me like she was trying to figure out what was going on in my head.
I never went back to check on any of them.
My parents are still there, I think. Don't know what they were told. That I went crazy. That I killed Danzo. That I'm dangerous. All true. Doesn't make it easier.
Obito's alive. Rin too. I stopped that whole thing from happening. Used Chrono Lock, got her out before Kakashi could do it. Obito still has his eye. Still acts like himself. That counts for something. I keep telling myself that.
The dreams started a while back. The girl with the chains. At first it was just bits and pieces. Her face. Those violet chains. Lately they've been getting worse. Last night was bad. That black thing standing over me, telling me I wasn't supposed to exist, and then my body just… falling apart. Woke up and everything was fine, but it didn't feel fine. Felt like something actually reached out.
I don't know what it is. Kara? Something to do with her? Or just my head finally giving up after all this.
Nagato says we should treat it like a warning. He's probably right. He usually is. Konan's gonna look into those three Uchiha we grabbed. The ones with the blue fire. Maybe they know something. Maybe not.
I leaned back and stared at the sky. Clouds everywhere. No stars.
Four years ago I thought if I just got strong enough I could fix things. Change the stuff I remembered. Protect people. I got strong. Stronger than I thought I would. And I'm still sitting here in the rain, not really sure what the hell I'm doing.
Killed Danzo. Trained with Madara. Built something here. Saved a couple people. Left a lot more behind.
Was it worth it?
No idea.
The rain started coming down a bit harder. I didn't move. Already wet anyway.
Somewhere down below I heard a kid laugh. Just for a second. Reminded me of Shisui. Then it was gone.
I closed my eyes.
She was still there. The girl. Watching.
Opened them again.
"Not yet," I muttered.
Didn't know who I was talking to. Her. That black thing. Myself.
Didn't really matter.
I wasn't done yet.