Chapter Five
Quinn woke up to the delightful sensation of every joint in his body staging a revolt.
His neck cracked when he turned it. His spine creaked when he sat up. His legs threatened to unionize. He was a walking advertisement for Why Not To Get Hit By Life Repeatedly.
[Ding! You have awakened. SP bonus for persistent discomfort: +7]
He blinked, groaned, then faceplanted back into the straw mattress.
"System," he mumbled, voice muffled by hay. "Please let that all have been a dream."
[Negative. However, the dream you did have is eligible for a flashback.]
And oh, it was a gem.
In the dream, he stood shirtless on a stage made of noodles while thousands of spirit boars in tuxedos hurled tofu at his head, chanting, "Sing, fungus, sing!" Just before a giant sandal descended from the heavens to slap him into the dirt.
[SP Gained: +15 – Residual trauma (dream-based)]
Quinn sat up, hugging his knees. "I'm losing my mind."
[Correction: You are gaining madness-based resilience. Side effect: increased tolerance to humiliation.]
He pulled on what little was left of his dignity namely, his other sock and headed out for his morning shift.
The sect's servant square was already bustling.
Servants swept, scrubbed, polished hooves, and hauled buckets of questionable substances to and from unknown destinations. It was like a medieval sweatshop, but with more yelling and the constant risk of magical poultry pecking out your soul.
Quinn was promptly handed a rake and sent to the Spirit Chicken Coop.
He lasted six minutes before one of the chickens, shimmering faintly with cultivation aura, pecked his shin for stepping too close to its feed.
"OW—You feathery demon!" he yelped.
[SP Gained: +8. Bonus: "Poultry-Related Humiliation" +3]
He hobbled away, barely avoiding another strike, and found a quiet corner where a few servant disciples were practicing their stances. One boy glanced over, squinted, and then whispered something to his friend that included the words "halfwit" and "singing disaster."
Quinn pretended not to hear. He was getting good at that.
He slumped onto a mossy rock behind the chicken pens and exhaled.
The rake slipped from his fingers.
"Okay," he said aloud, to himself, the universe, and whatever chicken gods were laughing at him. "We're doing this. Slow and steady. Root stance. Breathe. Don't fall."
He planted his feet. Bent his knees.
And instantly regretted everything.
Fire bloomed through his thighs. His calves trembled like a deer on ice. Sweat dripped down the back of his neck.
He lasted thirty seconds.
[SP Gained: +12]
[Bonus: "Trying Anyway" – +4]
[Cracked Root Stance – Progress: 62% to Lv. 2]
He collapsed onto his butt, wheezing. The chickens nearby stared at him like they were judging his bloodline.
"Don't look at me like that," he muttered.
One of them clucked and turned around with deeply offended poultry energy.
Then, a voice from behind: "Fungus."
Quinn winced. Lin Fei.
He didn't have to turn to recognize the sharp-edged smugness in that voice.
"Hey, discount villain," Quinn said without standing. "What can I do for your fragile ego today?"
Lin Fei stepped close. "You've been getting cocky."
"Cocky?" Quinn gestured vaguely to his filthy clothes. "I'm one cracked toenail away from death. I'm the opposite of cocky."
Lin Fei's jaw clenched. "You're not enlightened. You're a joke."
"Everyone loves a good joke," Quinn replied. "And lucky for you, I'm full of them. Like your cultivation talent."
The other servants around them snickered. Lin Fei's ears turned red.
[SP Gained: +10 – Social Tension]
[New Passive Triggered: "Sassy Defense" – Chance to confuse low-IQ bullies with wit +15%]
Lin Fei stepped closer. "How about we make it interesting?"
Quinn blinked. "Is this the part where you challenge me to a duel?"
"Exactly. Noon. Back of the latrine pits. Don't run."
"Why there?"
"So when I bury you, you'll already be halfway in the filth."
Quinn gave him a slow clap. "That's actually the most funny thing I've heard all week."
Lin Fei stormed off.
Once he was gone, Quinn let out a slow breath and dropped back onto the mossy rock.
"…System?"
[Yes, fungus?]
"Please tell me this is a good idea."
[No. But it will be productive.]
Quinn let his head fall back and stared at the grey sky.
Noon – Latrine Pit Ridge
Quinn arrived early.
Not because he was eager to get beaten. He just wanted to mentally prepare to survive the beating.
The "arena" was a flattened patch of dirt near the edge of the servant sector, used mostly for throwing out broken chamber pots and the occasional cursed sponge.
Lin Fei arrived five minutes later, flanked by his usual group of sarcastic backup dancers.
Quinn stood alone.
[Quest Triggered: Duel of Dung Hill]
Objective: Survive Lin Fei's attack. Trigger "Endure Reversal." Do not cry (publicly).
Reward: Upgrade + Passive – "Tenacity Boost"
Penalty: Fractured pride, potential dental rearrangement
Lin Fei cracked his knuckles. "Any last words?"
Quinn tilted his head, considering. "Yeah," he said finally, "when you miss and you will, I hope you trip on your own fragile masculinity."
Lin Fei blinked. One of his cronies choked on a laugh. The others stared, unsure whether to snicker or flinch.
[SP Gained: +6 – Reckless Bravado]
[Bonus: Psychological Warfare (Mild Success) +2 SP]
"Cute," Lin Fei muttered, rolling his shoulders. "Let's see if you're still funny with a few less teeth."
He moved fast.
"Oh gods oh gods oh gods—"
The punch came in hard, it was a brutal right hook aimed straight for Quinn's temple.
Quinn's vision exploded with white spots. His ears rang. He staggered but managed to stay upright.
[SP Gained: +23 – Clean Headshot]
[Activating Skill: Endure Reversal – Lv. 1]
A ripple of backlash energy surged from his chest, invisible but very real.
Lin Fei's smug expression vanished as an unseen force slammed into his ribs, knocking the wind out of him. He stumbled backward, coughing.
"What the?!"
Quinn wobbled on his feet, spitting blood onto the dirt.
"You punch like a pu**y," he slurred.
Lin Fei's expression twisted into fury.
"Again!" Quinn barked, arms outstretched. "Come on, champ! Hit me like you mean it!"
Lin Fei roared and lunged again, fists flying.
Another blow landed, this time in Quinn's gut. He folded in half with a wheeze.
[SP Gained: +19 – Internal Distress]
[Bonus: "Spleen Vibration" – +4]
[Endure Reversal Cooldown Active – 5 hours, 53 minutes remaining]
Quinn coughed. "Okay... maybe don't hit me like you mean it."
Lin Fei lifted his fist again, but one of the senior servant disciples stepped in, bored and unimpressed.
"That's enough."
Lin Fei turned. "He insulted me!"
"And now he's bleeding," the senior said. "Congrats. You've officially beaten the weakest servant in the sector. Big day for you."
Lin Fei gritted his teeth but backed off.
"You're lucky," he muttered to Quinn. "Next time, I will break you."
Quinn gave him a bloody thumbs-up from the dirt. "Better bring a hammer, princess."
[SP Gained: +12 – Post-Fight Sass]
[Bonus: "Refuses to Shut Up" x2]
The crowd started to disperse, murmuring. A few glances lingered on Quinn with half pity, half amusement.
Someone tossed a rag toward him. It landed in the mud near his head.
He blinked up at the sky, nose still bleeding. "System."
[Yes, Fungus?]
"Did I get anything?"
[Technically, yes. You survived, insulted your opponent multiple times, and triggered your skill successfully.
Emotional victory: 70%.
Physical condition: 38%.
Dignity: Critically Low, but somehow rising.]
[Quest Complete! Reward Unlocked: Passive Skill – Tenacity Boost]
Increases mental resistance to discouragement, failure, and general despair.
Side effect: Slightly more annoying to pessimists.
[Endure Reversal – Upgraded to Lv. 2]
Now reflects more damage, scales with Host's emotional state.
Bonus: Reflects 20% more if crying inside but pretending not to.
Quinn let out a breathy laugh. It hurt.
Everywhere.
But it also… felt kind of good?
He sat up, grimacing.
"Okay," he whispered, "next time, dodge. Then sass."
[Affirmative. New subroutine initiated: "Snark + Evade Combo."]