Kael awoke to the loudest silence he'd ever heard.
Not birds chirping. Not wind blowing. Just... stillness. And a headache. An unholy, gods-forsaken, mind-pounding, soul-rattling headache.
He squinted against the soft morning light peeking through the cream-colored curtains. The ceiling above him was wooden, unfamiliar.
The bed beneath him? Way too soft. Where was the gritty, stiff mattress he usually tossed himself onto after grinding in dungeons? This was suspiciously comfortable.
He turned his head to the left. Bookshelf. Turned to the right. Stuffed animals? Okay, this was DEFINITELY not his room.
Then his eyes darted toward the window.
Outside, he recognized the cobblestone street, the huge willow tree on the corner, and that one old dude always yelling at pigeons.
Yep. He was at Lunara's place.
Kael sat up like a spring-loaded trap and instinctively slapped a hand over his mouth.
"No... NO. She took me to her house?!"
>And I haven't even met her parents either!
His eyes widened in horror as he imagined what might have happened.
Did she drag him unconscious through the streets?
Did she—OH NO.
Did she hear him snoring in his sleep?! The humiliation!
He crept to the door with the stealth of a ninja trying not to alert their mom at 2 AM.
With one finger, he pushed the door open just enough to peek outside.
That's when he saw them.
Eyes.
Two golden, glowing, intense eyes... staring back through the same crack in the door.
Kael jumped back like a cat that just touched water.
"OH! Uh… hey!"
he blurted, standing up straight and puffing his chest like he hadn't just had a near-death experience from peek-a-boo.
Lunara raised a brow, completely unfazed.
"You okay?"
she asked calmly, as if she hadn't just traumatized him for life.
Kael placed a hand on his waist and gave a smug grin, thumb pointed confidently at himself.
"Never been better."
Lunara stared at him blankly.
Then she muttered:
"Why do you always do that dumb pose when you say that?"
Kael scratched the back of his head and glanced out the window.
"That was... an old friend's trademark.
I guess I just... do it to honor him."
Bezel's face flashed in his memory—smiling like an idiot, striking the pose every time he tripped, fell, or accidentally summoned bees instead of fireballs.
Kael smiled softly.
Then spun around, back in his overly-cheerful mood.
"Soooo, why am I here again?"
Lunara turned away, cheeks slightly red.
"You were... kinda passed out. And I don't know where you live."
Kael blinked.
Kind of passed out? I was KO'd, banished from consciousness. Sent to the shadow realm.
He kept that part in his head, but his eyebrows did enough talking.
"I made you food!" Lunara blurted and scurried off, her awkward energy trailing behind her like a tornado in denial.
Kael squinted.
"Has she always been able to walk that fast without actually moving fast?"
He slowly made his way out the room and followed the delicious-but-ominously-uncertain scent.
The dining table looked like it had seen better centuries. The legs wobbled like they were contemplating retirement and the surface creaked with every shift in air pressure. But he sat anyway.
Then he noticed the bandages on his leg.
"Wait a minute... I didn't bandage myself. Did she—"
Before he could spiral into a full embarrassment coma, Lunara appeared with a bowl of what he assumed was soup.
The smell hit him like a freight train.
His soul briefly left his body.
The soup looked like something that crawled out of a dungeon and got cooked in vengeance.
It had chunks, but... not the edible kind. The broth was greenish-brown with a shimmer that shouldn't exist in nature.
And somehow it bubbled without any heat.
He cautiously poked it with a spoon. It growled. He wasn't sure if it was his imagination or the soup was alive.
"This is... food?"
he whispered.
Lunara beamed. "Made it myself!"
He squinted at the ingredients. Everything was edible, technically.
"This... isn't the ingredients. This is an execution."
A vein popped on Lunara's head.
He took a spoonful and braced himself.
It hit his tongue and his body instinctively summoned a magic shield.
His vision blurred. He could taste color. Specifically, pain.
He pressed his hands together. And started praying.
"Please, if there are any gods, when I digest this, please let me wake up tomorrow."
~ SMACK!
Lunara slapped the back of his head.
"Eat it. ALL of it."
And like a true warrior, Kael endured it.
He finished the whole bowl.
And immediately threw up behind a bush.
**Time skip — 40 minutes later**
Kael stared at his plate. Real food.
Real food that smelled good. That didn't threaten his lineage.
"Hmmm, this steak is hella juicy,"
Lunara said casually, chewing with gusto.
Kael blinked.
"Umm, actually ma'am that's MY steak. You ordered the octopus."
He gestured to the octopus on HIS plate.
It looked... wet. And upset.
Like it had rights and was about to lawyer up.
"Stop being so damn ungrateful,"
Lunara replied, still chewing.
"That's MY FOOD, You Little Rascal!"
He pouted, throwing his napkin in the air dramatically.
She smirked, grabbed her plate, and moved tables.
To a random table.
Where a poor woman was sitting alone, now visibly confused and terrified.
Lunara smiled sweetly and continued eating Kael's steak like she'd done nothing wrong.
Kael walked over slowly.
The woman looked up at him with wide eyes.
Kael just whispered,
"She does this sometimes. Don't make sudden movements."
The woman slowly nodded.
Kael sat across from Lunara and stared at the octopus. It stared back.
He sighed.
"Fine. Let's go to war then."
He picked up the fork and took a bite. It slapped him back.
Not literally. But emotionally.
He coughed, took a sip of water, and sighed.
"You win this round."
Lunara giggled while chewing, covering her mouth.
Kael noticed.
"Wait a minute. Did you give me the octopus on purpose? Because it has... texture issues?"
She looked away innocently.
He gasped. "YOU DEMON!"
Lunara started giggling like a gremlin.
The waiter came by, looking mildly traumatized.
"Um... will you be needing anything else?"
"Yeah. A priest." Kael said, stabbing another bite of the octopus.
Pointing to her, he pouted.
"She needs to be exorcised"
Lunara clapped.
"One for the table please!"
The waiter nodded slowly and walked away, probably reconsidering his life choices.
They ended the evening with dessert.
Kael tried the lava cake. It actually made up for everything. Almost.
Lunara, however, mistook a scoop of wasabi ice cream for matcha.
The face she made could only be described as spiritually offended.
Kael tried not to laugh, but he ended up snorting all the sugar off the lava cake.
Lunara recovered quickly.
"That... was an intense experience."
"Are you crying?"
"NO. I AM SWEATING FROM MY EYES."
Kael gave her a thumbs up, then slowly leaned it towards himself.
"Never been better."
She deadpanned.
"You're banned from that pose."
They walked home under a quiet sky, giggling like idiots.
And Kael, for the first time in a while, wasn't thinking about dungeons, monsters, or even pain.
He was thinking about how ridiculous his life had become.
And how much he didn't mind it.