With the love of my life in bed for the first time, my mind was blank, unaware of what was unfolding before me. However, with a kick in the stomach, I was swiftly brought back to reality.
Earlier:
There's a common trope in anime and manga of the childhood friend character. Always losing out to another girl for the heroes love even though they should have been the clear choice.
Having consumed this content for the past years of my life, I still am unable to discern why one can simply choose another woman over one they have known their entire life and shared most of it with.
Just because a cute transfer student or a random classmate showed the slightest interest in you, you throw everything you built away. I sighed as I sat at my desk thinking of the third-rate anime I had watched the night prior, they all ended the same…
"What's that sigh for?" I turned my head and met with the beautiful girl that I had watched grow up over the years. She sat with her elbows resting on the desk, with a fist on her chin. Long black hair ran the length of her middle back, and her green eyes narrowed as she smiled softly at me.
I couldn't help but give a little grin as I looked toward her, "Nothing much, Kate." Kate, she was my childhood friend. Having grown up across the street from her and sharing schools for over a decade, it's no surprise that we became friends.
She was a proper girl, regardless of what she was doing, it was elegant. Her handwriting, posture, and even her speech was prim and proper. Or… at least that was how she was in school.
Aside from her act she put up in school, she was a normal, somewhat vulgar teenage girl. I feel lucky being able to see her like that, like I am seeing a side of her no one else does.
"Did you study for the test, Luke?"
"Eh!" My stomach tightened as I was reminded of the Calculus test after home room. Kate let out a quiet, polite giggle as she looked on at me struggling. Instead of spending my time studying I had to watch that stupid show.
"I will take that as a no; guess I will beat you this time…" Kate said as she sat with a pleasant smile on her face. Since we were kids we would have random rivalries here and there, but none was as big as school, specifically, grades.
I appreciated this little rivalry as it pushed the two of us to become the top of our class, either sharing top grades or occasionally trading blows. As I rushed to grab out the study guide the teacher passed out a few days ago, I was soothed by my neighbor's voice.
"Sigh… I guess it can't be helped, move your desk over here, we can study together. Can't have you failing, it would be boring being on top alone." Kate said, a tinge of red on her cheeks as she motioned me over to her desk.
I looked over my mouth slightly agape, this also happened more often than it should, one of us would forget or feel bad about an upcoming assignment and the other would swoop in for the rescue.
"Gosh, I love you." I whispered under my breath as I got back to my senses and moved my desk over.
"Did you say something?" Kate asked, tilting her head to the side.
"Nope! Nothing at all!" I answered, a cheery smile on my face. I wouldn't mind if she'd heard of course, there were a few things that reminisced in me when I watched those anime's with the childhood friend character.
Most importantly, the risk and reward. When it comes to a situation like mine, when I am nearly certain that if I asked Kate out, she would accept. But there was always a little bit of doubt, so a low risk and high reward.
But on the off chance that she actually rejected me; it's not like we could go back to how things were before I asked.
So, as we grew older, romance was not on my mind. However, especially these past few years of high school, I was growing more and more eager to ask her out. I often ran through the reasons why she would say yes and with that, the reasons why she would say no.
Yet, every time I did this, I could not think of a single reason she would say no. So, what was I waiting for?!?
We spent the rest of the home room studying, for many it was a break period but those who went above and beyond spent it studying. Soon enough, the class bell rang out and the classroom was engulfed with the moving of chairs and idle chatter.
"Are you feeling better?" Kate asked, closing her workbook and stuffing it in her bag. I tilted my head in uncertainty, math was my subject and literature was Kate's. We each excelled in the other topics, that being said, I had a pretty good grasp on Calculus thus far, this little study session just made me more confident that I would ace the test.
"Yeah, I feel pretty good, you don't have a chance." I teased as I moved my desk back and slung my bag over my shoulder. If we weren't in school, Kate would have pouted and shouted, instead, she spoke calmly.
"We will just see about that." She said as we fell in toe with each other and soon enough we were in the classroom. Every class we shared we sat next to each other, we had been pretty lucky throughout our school careers, we shared most classes thus far.
We both took our seats and looked to each other, "Good luck Kate." I said giving her a little thumbs up.
"And good luck to you, Luke." We each took the fleeting minutes before class to look over our notes and study guide once more. The test was over beginner integration, mostly a review over the end of our Calculus One class last semester. As I thought of that, my mind clouded over in sadness.
Only one semester left… I still have not made my move… If I wait too long, she might move on. As fear and regret crept into my head, I pushed it aside and focused on the test, though it still clearly lingered in the back of my mind.