The next day, after arriving at our destination and spending the night at an inn.
Deabolica took us to the mansion of Count Longfield, who rules the city.
It was already getting dark, so maybe we could have gone there as soon as we arrived yesterday... When I mentioned this at the inn, Deabolica looked at me with a dumbfounded expression.
Are you stupid? The person you're dealing with is a count, and even if he sends a messenger to inform him of our arrival, it's impossible for you to meet with him immediately afterwards. In fact, it's quite early, considering that he made time to see you urgently. Considering the difference in status, it wouldn't be strange if you had to wait more than a week.
"Oh, nobles are busy, aren't they? I thought he was just passing the work on to his subordinates and was busy hunting rabbits."
"...Bastard, you should stop saying things like that to the Count. With the exception of Wes and me, you should never say anything unnecessary to nobles. If you say something unnecessary and cause him to dislike you, I will kill you without remorse.
"Yes, yes."
It's not like I want to deepen my friendship with the aristocrats.
Behind me, Ursuna covers her mouth and trembles. I wonder if I've touched a nerve. Lately, I haven't been able to understand Ursuna very well.
"And put this on. It's your work clothes."
As she said this, Deabolica handed me some loose clothing.
Ah, even I, who am not very knowledgeable about world history, have seen this before. I'm sure it was the attire worn by high-ranking members of parliament in the ancient Roman Empire. It's the kind that sometimes appears in fantasy works, isn't it?
I said it last night, but let me confirm it again. From now on, your title will be "Saint." If anyone asks you about your background, tell them that you traveled from the East on a pilgrimage and that, upon arriving on the Great Vrishab Island, God granted you the power of healing. No need to go into further detail.
"How about this outfit? It looks like it would be difficult to move around in."
That outfit is a replica of what the council members wore in the ancient Vrishab Empire. I couldn't let you meet the Count in your own ragged clothes. But of course, flashy clothes like those of a Catholic priest would be frowned upon. After all, we are a Protestant country. I looked for traditional clothing that would eliminate any religious connotations, and that's what I found. It's old-fashioned, but it has an exotic feel to it, doesn't it? Naropans admire the ancient Vrishab Empire, so that kind of clothing is a good way to show off.
"So, basically, it's the clothing worn by a great person from the country of your distant ancestors?"
"That's it. Anyway, go get changed."
Why would a normal person wear the clothes of a member of the council of the ancient Roman Empire? It's a cultural disaster... I thought, but of course it's less ugly than the T-shirt and jeans I'd been wearing for six months, or the patchwork clothes I'd bought here. Having decided this, I went back to my room and tried to change. Hmm? How am I supposed to wear this? It has too many folds, I wonder if it's really okay.
...No, wait a minute. Isn't there too little fabric to begin with? No matter how hard I try, the chest area is so open that it looks like my right nipple is about to be exposed.
Hey, Deabolica, is this how you wear it? There's not enough fabric.
As I said this, I returned to the room where Deabolica and the others were, and the women looked at me with speechless faces.
"...Oh my God!!!"
"I've never felt more disconnected from the world than I do today."
Ursuna stared at me, while Irene blushed and covered her nose, looking away. Oh, she looked over here! Then she looked away. She kept stealing glances at me.
What is this? I don't understand anymore.
Is this loose-fitting, ruffled outfit with a very low-cut chest area sexy?
Can someone explain to me what is going on with these girls?
===
======
Let me explain!
It's an unprecedented fashion trend that combines ancient tradition and sacredness, while exuding sensuality!
To be more specific, it has the same impact as the low-cut white dress worn by the goddess who guides the saints named after the constellations! In addition, thanks to the craftsmanship, the hem fits perfectly to the legs, highlighting the lines from the waist down. The shape of the crotch is also clearly visible!
"It suits you very well. It's well made, considering it was made in a hurry."
Deabolica nodded.
In other words, this outfit reflects your sense of style.
"I don't think I'll ever understand you again."
"Do you realize that now? You stopped understanding me a long time ago."
So why did you bother to make it erotic? A normal one would have been fine.
Then Deabolica tilted his head in confusion.
What are you talking about? Haven't you always agreed that sacred figures should wear these clothes? You know that!
"..."
Ah, I see. This world is Naroppa, where chastity is turned upside down. I see...
====
======
Let me explain!
In the most common fantasy of our world, priests and saints wear incredibly daring and erotic clothing as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Furthermore, since the values of men and women are reversed, it is natural for priests and saints to wear incredibly daring and erotic clothing. On the other hand, priestesses wear normal clothing.
By the way, Deabolica has been calling Yuuji "Holy Man," which is the equivalent of "Holy Woman," but Yuuji's brain rejects that strange use of the local language, so his [Conversation in Otherworld Languages] skill flexibly translates it simply as "Saint."
I used to laugh at the tight swimsuit worn by the saint character in a gacha game, saying, "She's too lewd to be a saint, hahaha," but I never thought the day would come when I would wear sexy clothes and call myself a saint... I guess this is what they call karma.
=======
====
==
It's nice to meet you. I am Deabolica, the third daughter of Gigantia Hottaste, the lady who rules the city of Thousand Leaves in western Essex. It is a real honor for me to have the opportunity to meet you.
Thank you for coming here, Miss Deabolica. I am Rose, head of the Earl of Longfield. I thank God for this wonderful day and for the opportunity to meet this new person.
Deabolica and I were invited to the Earl's mansion and taken to the reception room. The adventurers had left their weapons with the Earl's servants and were waiting in the next room. It was strictly forbidden to bring weapons into the mansion.
Deabolica bowed deeply to the Count, who was seated. Her attitude already indicated the difference in social status. Although Deabolica was an aristocrat, she was the third daughter of a nobleman without rank who ruled only one city and the surrounding villages. Meanwhile,
this woman was the head of a family of counts who ruled over several territories. It was a huge difference, like the difference between the president of one of the largest companies in the country and the section chief of a small company famous only in the countryside. And, well, they didn't know each other after all. It must have been their first meeting.
By the way, he was behind Deabolica, kneeling and bowing his head. Apparently, it's disrespectful to stare at someone without permission. This other world is a little suffocating. It's Naroppa, so it's okay to be frank and say something like, "Hello, old Count! Nice to meet you!" or "You're an interesting person, I like you, hahaha!"
According to Deabolica, image is everything for the nobles of this world, so if someone disrespects them, they will kill them immediately. Beheading, perhaps?
I don't want to be killed either, so I'll keep quiet. It would be a great loss if I lost my life for speaking informally to a noble.
"You there..."
"Yes. I am Yuuji, a saint who exorcises diseases and has come from the East."
"Raise your head. I'll give you special permission."
Deabolica winked at me, and I looked up. I didn't say anything, I just looked at him. You never know what might offend him. After all, silence is golden.
I thought the Count would be one of them, but it was a woman. She was in her thirties and covered her mouth with a bird feather fan. Hmm, I guess that's the taste of a woman of the high aristocracy. I couldn't see her face clearly, but her eyes were quite well-formed and she looked very good.
Hmm? I think I saw something red near her nose. Impossible.
I would like to examine it more closely, but I think it would be rude to stare too much.
The Count stared at me and waved her fan slightly.
"Stand up."
I nodded silently and stood up. ...I wondered if I should say hello or something. But I was told not to say anything unnecessary, so I kept quiet. I was a foreigner, so even if I was a little rude, I could easily say that I didn't understand the language very well.
"Mmm... what a sexy body. How many women has he slept with? He's from the East, so maybe he sold his body to earn money for the trip."
Huh? What's wrong with this old woman?
Is that something you would normally ask someone you just met? In a way, it's even ruder than saying, "Hey, you old fool."
How should I respond to this? This kind of exchange wasn't even discussed at the meeting with Deabolica. As I was thinking about this, Deabolica spoke.
Count, —this man has not yet met a woman. As you know from the story of the prophet, those who receive special powers from God must have a pure body. If he slept with a woman, he could lose his power, so he has vowed to remain chaste for the rest of his life.
Oh my God. They pointed out lifelong virginity to me.
It's true that if I don't meet anyone good, I could keep my virginity bonus and move on to the next life.
"Hmm, I see. What a waste of a body..."
Saying this, the Count stared intently at my chest and crotch, which were visible through the fabric. Damn, that's creepy!
I see. So they don't see me as an equal, do they? They consider foreigners to be little more than slaves, so they can treat me as rudely as they want. How disgusting. Are all the nobles in this country like this? Even with Diabolica, I'm in a much better category.
...Ah, I can't take this. Disgust has gotten the better of me. When I've had enough, I'll go home.
"Can I come in for a quick exam?"
Deabolika looked at me with an expression that said, "Hey, what the hell are you thinking!", but I ignored her completely.
"Ah, you speak? Quite fluently. And where did you learn it? It's like High Language."
What is he talking about? I've only spoken my native language. Anyway, let's continue the conversation.
"I need to study it for treatment."
"I see. Did you replicate the words and medical knowledge of some doctor?"
"No, but I can cure any disease."
Hahahaha! You're going to brag that you can cure the disease that even the most advanced doctors in the Great Vrishab Empire have succumbed to! How funny you are!
Saying that with an expression of total disapproval. It looks like you're about to lose your temper, Count.
"If you think I can't fix it, why did you come?"
An old acquaintance called me after more than a decade, so I felt compelled to do so. If I introduced him to a con artist, I would send his head to him.
An old acquaintance? You don't mean Diabolica.
I feel like there's a lot going on behind the scenes that I don't know about, but well, it's none of my business.
"Well, that's great. I won't have to pay for shipping the head."
"Hmm, I'm surprised even monkeys have a sense of humor."
Saying this, the Count lowered his fan and revealed his true face.
Now that you've seen this ugly face, you can no longer leave the mansion. If you want to leave, just do it with your head.
Ah, I see.
When I saw the Count's face, it all made sense. I had noticed this symptom just two weeks ago.
"Syphilis?"
"...Oh, so you're a doctor after all."
The Count had several red bumps growing on his nose, and his lips were red, sore, and cracked. His condition was much worse than that of the wizard I had examined in the city of Deabolica.
Apparently, it is an incurable disease. Our doctor tried everything, but in the end, he gave up. He said that what had happened to him was God's punishment for his own sins.
He said that if he wanted to be cured, he had to immerse himself naked in a lake, pour ice-cold water over his head several times, and ask God for forgiveness while he was dying. How ridiculous! I cut off his head so he wouldn't say such nonsense again.
"Um, um, what you're doing is a crime. Besides, what you're carrying is a sexually transmitted disease."
I was simply fulfilling my duties as a noble woman. What crime would I be accused of for being the head of the family?
"That's probably true if you only have children with one person."
"Hmm... So, can it be cured?"
"It will be cured. I cured the same disease just two weeks ago."
"...Don't talk nonsense. It's impossible for a simple Oriental to defeat the medical science of Great Vrishabh..."
Oh, what a noise you're making! You're a patient, you should listen to what they tell you and get better! So shut up and sit there!
"..."
As the treatment wasn't progressing at all due to the fruitless conversation, I ended up yelling harsh words at him to shut him up. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Deabolica turn pale, but I didn't care.
My life is too precious to keep playing bombs with someone who, without knowing what, is trying to kill me. I think I have a better chance of surviving if I lose my temper and force the conversation. Focusing on the nerve in his brain
It's okay for a reincarnated person to be arrogant. There's no need to be polite to someone who looks down on me.
"What do you mean by that, Count? I am a Saint, in the eyes of the Most Holy God!"
My name is engraved on high by His will. Be careful with your words... or you'd better shut your mouth.
Taking advantage of the Count's stunned silence, I decided to forcefully continue the medical treatment ritual.
The cold triangular bottle I took out of my pocket contained secret holy water.
"The holy water will weaken the disease. Think about your past sins and ask God for forgiveness."
Saying this, I poured the liquid over the count's head.
"This holy water is an extremely valuable object, unique in the world, which was consecrated on a full moon night, when the moonlight illuminated a purified sanctuary, and by a saint who prayed incessantly throughout the night... or so the story goes. In reality, it's just water from the well."
As he spread the holy water all over the count's face, the count closed his eyes and began to pray obediently, perhaps because he had resigned himself... or perhaps because he truly felt the sacredness of the moment.
In reality, the treatment can be performed with just a glance.
For some reason, Deabolica said that if they were going to take money from the nobles, it had to be a more ostentatious and convincing ceremony, so they ended up adding this meaningless step.
Deabolica told me about the religions of this world, but... isn't Protestantism the official religion of this country? Wouldn't they have converted to Protestantism to escape the authoritarianism and materialism of the Old Church, with its excessive and elaborate rituals? So why do the rich continue to show gratitude for all those unnecessary rituals?
It seems like a huge contradiction, but in the end, he just can't stand people acting arrogantly and can't help but want to show off how much money and authority he has.
"Then we recite the scriptures to drive away evil spirits."
I recite the passage from this world's Bible where a prophet expels a demon.
I memorized this from Deabolica. Despite appearances, I have a very good memory, so I can do this. However, unlike a real priest, it probably won't have any effect. It's like a monk reading a sutra he hasn't learned.
"And the prophet said, 'Go away, devil! Don't bother him...'"
Oh no. I forgot what came next.
Ah...
"Jugemu Jugemu, Gokou no Surikire, Kaijari Suigyo no Suigyo Matsu, Unrai Matsu, Fuurai Matsu, The place that lives in the undulating place..."
"What is that? It's an unknown verse..."
"It's a very precious verse that comes from my hometown in the East."
"I see."
Well, it seems to be a list of many words that bring good luck, so I guess it's something to be thankful for. Although it's a story.
"Paipo paipo, stupid Paipo, you're Paipo, your ponpokopi ponpokona..."
"Hey, what does that mean in Vrishab?"
"The final blow!!!"
Before I could ask any more unnecessary questions, I slapped the count on the forehead.
Well, I took advantage of the confusion and hit the nobleman on the head. It felt so good!
"Hey, you..."
Yes, you're completely cured! Congratulations on your recovery!
I looked at Deabolica and shouted loudly to let him know that he was cured.
"..."
The count examined his body and then, with trembling hands, took off his gloves.
After observing that he didn't have a single wart on his finger, he picked up the silver bell.
Anyone? Bring me a mirror right now!
The maid heard the bell and quickly brought a hand mirror.
...The maids in this world are men... The fact that they wear butler uniforms is a relief. Although they are not as sturdy as in my past life. If a burly man had appeared in a frilly maid's outfit, I would have gouged his eyes out without thinking twice. Well, maybe I can endure it because I have [Pain Tolerance].
Tears began to well up in the count's eyes as he looked at himself in the hand mirror. After gazing at himself for a moment, he finally placed the wet mirror face down on the table and took my hand.
The count held my hand tightly and bowed his head.
I apologize for the rude things I've said to you so many times. Looking at your appearance, there's no way you could have treated it. I came to the conclusion that you were an impostor dressed provocatively. It was my fault for defiling Old Goldon's kindness.
Hey! This outfit is having the effect after all!
Of course, if a sexy, cool, slutty woman appears in a gacha scene and says, "I'll heal you," you'll think, "Is she going to help me masturbate?"
Damn it, Deabolica. Maybe you just wanted to humiliate me by making me wear lewd clothes. I swear you'll fall someday!
—But you have swallowed the repeated insults and treated me with sincerity. —Your generosity shows that you must be a saint endowed with true virtue. Please forgive me.
In the holy name of God, —your sins are forgiven. From now on, please be chaste.
"Your kind words have moved me deeply."
I was so angry, ready to die, but deep down I wondered what to do next.
—"But you really understand what I mean, don't you? Let me explain it simply.
The symptoms of syphilis have disappeared, but the source of the disease remains in your body. It should gradually disappear, mixed with your excrement, but if you have sex, there is a chance that you could infect your partner, so refrain from having sex for the time being.
—Yes, I understand. Now, Santo, I would like to ask you about your next treatment.
"...Next?"
"Go ahead!"
The Count clapped his hands, the door at the back of the room opened, and men entered. From elegant suits to butler uniforms, and what appeared to be cooks and gardeners. They all had dark red spots on their faces or wore masks covering their noses.
And it's not just five or ten people. In fact, there are almost twenty!
They are my husband and my concubine. I ask you to treat them as well. Even if only I am cured, I will have a hard time finding someone to spend the night with! Of course, I will cover the medical expenses, ha ha ha!
I don't think I can blame myself for instinctively stepping back and wiping the hand I shook with the Count on the corner of my clothes. As I looked up, I saw Deabolica's face cringe in surprise.
These guys aren't to blame for contracting a sexually transmitted disease from the Count.
This old woman has a harem of boys...!