"Wait—Fujiwara-san, what did you just say?!" Mizuno froze, turning back toward him. He was pretty sure he'd just heard something absolutely insane.
"What do you mean… a Cowherd-and-Weaver-Girl Race?"
"Hm? You didn't know?" Fujiwara looked at Mizuno, puzzled, and explained evenly, "Next week's race date happens to fall on Tanabata—the day the lovers Cowherd and Weaver Girl reunite."
"To celebrate, the race naturally got changed into a special Cowherd-and-Weaver-Girl Sweetheart Team-Up Race, for short, the Cowherd-and-Weaver-Girl Race."
"As the name suggests, you can only enter if you're teamed up as a couple…"
"That's common knowledge."
"What kind of common knowledge is that?!" Mizuno was shaken to his core by the explanation. He dropped his gaze to Maruzensky—who was happily enjoying the headpats a second ago—and cold sweat slowly crept onto his forehead.
"So if I want to race next week, that means I have to… with Maruzen…"
"Mm." Fujiwara nodded, confirming Mizuno's fear.
"You two enter as a couple."
"Gwa!" Even though he'd braced himself, having it confirmed still hit Mizuno like a truck.
He yanked his hand off Maruzensky's head and plunged into full-blown panic.
What the hell is this?! He'd only just gotten a little closer to Maruzensky, and now he learns next week's race requires couples to team up—how can anything line up this perfectly?!
Becoming a couple with an Umamusume… that's not "participating," that's getting shoved into a pit of fire on purpose!
"Guh-guh—GAH-GAH!" Mizuno howled at the heavens.
"?" Maruzensky hadn't heard the conversation at all. She'd been basking in the headpatting, and when the warmth suddenly vanished, she looked up in confusion—only to see Mizuno clutching his head with both hands, like a man who'd just realized fate itself was out to get him.
A huge question mark practically popped over Maruzensky's head.
What was wrong with him? Why was he suddenly reacting like someone had stepped on a cat's tail?
"Eh? That's… weird." Fujiwara, who'd assumed Mizuno and Maruzensky were already that kind of relationship, couldn't make sense of Mizuno's violent reaction either.
"I mean, you even got her a back seat ready. I thought you already knew the rules and were planning to take her to race with you…"
"Like I'd know that!" Mizuno blurted, frantic. "Nobody ever said anything about it in the amateur racing group chat! This is the first I'm hearing of it!"
"Maruzen and I are sworn brother-and-sister. If we show up in public as a couple during the race, it'll go against the purity of our relationship!"
"And that back seat is just so it's easier for us to travel together, okay?! There's no other intent!"
"Fujiwara-san, seriously—don't misunderstand!"
Mizuno flailed through the whole explanation, terrified Fujiwara would get the wrong idea about him and Maruzensky.
"Oh?" Fujiwara studied the twitchy Mizuno and the Maruzensky beside him, frowning in doubt.
So… had he really misunderstood their relationship?
Or…
Were they actually that kind of relationship, only it was a secret affair—cheating—so Mizuno didn't want the Emperor to find out?
Fujiwara couldn't tell which was the truth, but he still offered a suggestion.
"Honestly, you don't have to be a real couple. You can just pretend and still enter…"
"That's not okay either!" Mizuno shook his head like a man possessed, rejecting it on the spot.
Pretend-couple stuff was way too deep a pool. Mizuno couldn't handle those waters.
He'd read enough trashy urban webnovels to never trust the "fake dating" setup.
And rumors were like a plague—fast-spreading and lethal.
Even if something started out false, once it went mouth-to-mouth, it would start to sound real.
If it went one to ten, ten to a hundred, and finally reached the ears of the Umamusume at Tracen Academy… Mizuno would be completely, utterly finished.
"Then… you go with President Rudolf?" Fujiwara offered another fatal suggestion.
"Yeah, no…" Mizuno sagged instantly, like he'd just run into his natural predator. His whole body deflated.
Come on. Competing as a "couple" with Symboli Rudolf… he'd rather be tied directly to her bed.
Symboli Rudolf only lacked a proper excuse to Uma Pyoi him; if he pulled a stunt like this, it would only make his already-precarious situation even more humiliating.
Mizuno didn't believe for a second that Symboli Rudolf wouldn't explode with excitement the moment he asked to "pretend to be a couple"—and then make a whole production out of it.
Compared to that, teaming up with Maruzensky was ten—no, nine—times more reasonable.
At least with Maruzensky's current timid personality, even if she had the chance, she probably wouldn't be as relentless as Symboli Rudolf in looking for opportunities to Uma Pyoi him.
"Eh?" Speaking of Uma Pyoi, Mizuno suddenly thought of a rather heretical solution.
"Fujiwara-san—if I'm gay, can I team up with a guy?"
"Uh…" Fujiwara thought it over, then shook his head. "Sorry. Other than yuri, we don't recognize homosexuality."
"Why does yuri get a pass?! That's not fair!" Mizuno protested fiercely.
Great. So the "pretend to be a guy's boyfriend and team up with a male acquaintance" route was dead too…
But Mizuno absolutely couldn't give up next week's race. It was the closest one on the calendar—if he backed out, who knew when the next event would even be held? Maruzensky's condition and the Academy's little kids couldn't wait that long.
And right now, Mizuno didn't have a suitable woman he could use as a fake partner.
Tokai Teio and the others were out—asking them was just begging for disaster.
His coworker Kiryuin Aoi was out too. Because Mizuno had lied before and claimed he liked her, Kiryuin Aoi was already being treated as an enemy by Tokai Teio and the others. Dragging her into this would put her safety under serious threat.
Too bad Broshi was still doing time in the big house. Otherwise, Mizuno would've dragged his good buddy in to team up and saved himself a mountain of trouble.
"So… am I really going to have to team up with her?" Mizuno looked at Maruzensky, who was quietly tucked in her box now, chin lifted, meeting his eyes—her gaze practically asking if she could get one more headpat.
Mizuno's mouth twitched helplessly.
Looks like… this is the only way.
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T/N: HAHAHAHA BUT WHAT!!! WHY IS YAOI NOT RECOGNIZED!!!!!!!!!!!