"But why does it have to hurt so bad?" Lila whined, rubbing her calves.
Lunae responded with a delicate smile. "You've likely never exerted yourself like that before."
"True. I usually sit around all day. At least Sonera's fine. But she's probably used to this whole thing."
"What matters is that we survived."
It was all a blur after the first few minutes of victory washed over the students. Yrix announced their success, dragged them out, and the sandy pit was never seen again. All the girls could focus on after that was leaping into a bed, finding a shower that their captor so conveniently rewarded them with, or, in Sonera's case, brooding outside of Yrix's office. But it was like Lunae said. All that mattered was that they survived. Or at least that was the case till the following morning.
"No, but really, I can't move." Lila hobbled her way around the bunk beds.
Rena smiled at the strange girl, hiding her own pain as she sat on the bedsheets of the bottom bunk. "It was a long day, wasn't it?"
It was easier to make small talk when the room was far emptier than it was a day ago. The little distractions kept the girls from dwelling on the reality of the situation. Yrix was killing them all, slowly but surely. But still, it was hard not to feel confident. They had made it, a fact recognized by even the Arch-Flayer herself, who gave her students a day to rest.
Immediately after the fight concluded, before Yrix dragged them out, the girls had a brief yet awkward moment to celebrate. It felt like they had already known each other for years. Facing the Vesper was a shared experience that brought them together. And yet, despite the tears of joy that were shed that day, Lila felt empty.
She had the chance to smile at Lunae and tell her they were amazing. She gave Sonera a high five. She got to pretend she had friends. But in her heart, Lila felt that they were still strangers. Even as she giggled happily with Rena and Lunae, something was off. Perhaps, she realized, it was the lingering embrace that Ivy had given her.
The heiress spoke to no one after the fight. She gave Lila that hug. And she left to sulk in a corner. That, ironically, felt more real than everything else.
"How long were we down there anyway?" Lila huffed, trying to direct her mind elsewhere.
"I have...no idea. It felt like a year." Rena whined. "What will you do with your time off? I'm probably going to go say hello to the remaining survivors. Things are a lot less cramped here, and they seem pretty interesting."
"You kinda have to be interesting to be still alive. And yeah, more teamwork sounds good." Lila yawned, taking a seat next to Rena. "Me, though, I'm going to have a chat with Yrix. Get my bearings on this whole...situation."
"You didn't expect to survive it, huh?"
Lila turned towards Sonera, who was sitting with her knees touching her chin at the far corner of the room.
"Well, at least some of us did." Lila sighed.
Lunae passed by the girls, waving at them with another warm smile. "I'm going to check on Sonera. Maybe get her to eat something."
"Yeah. Sounds good." Lila nodded. "I should...go now."
It didn't take much for Rena to follow Lila's gaze, tracing it back to the farthest bunk where Ivy slept. She wanted to say something in that moment, but kept her mouth shut. She wasn't quite yet sure just how much she should hate Ivy.
Lila glanced at Rena with a guilty expression before scrambling her way towards Ivy. "Yeah, I know. I know. But someone has to."
The heiress's feet were dangling off her bed, as her thin hands clutched the edges. She didn't appear to be in the healthiest of states. Even Lila could see that to be a fact, judging her drooping head and disheveled hair.
Lila climbed up towards her, stopping at one wooden peg away from the heiress as she caught a glance at her face. Ivy was completely exhausted. Apparently, she still hadn't managed to catch any rest.
"You holding up?" Lila asked as quietly as she could so as not to warrant an attack.
Ivy didn't respond, using an unusually gentle hand to push Lila away. She tried plucking at the girl's fingers to loosen her grip on the bed, and when that failed, she attempted the slightest bit of communication by turning her head the other way.
"I uh...know it's been rough," Lila muttered. "I mean...I don't know you. But I can tell. Just wanted you to know that. You're not invisible."
"Don't," Ivy whispered.
The heiress hopped off the bed at the other side before dissapearing into the dark hallway leading to the bathroom. Lila wanted to give chase. She wanted it more than she had any right to. Despite what Ivy thought, she knew what it was like to feel invisible in her own little way.
"She needs space," Lunae whispered into Lila's mind.
Lila turned to see that her blue-haired friend was still halfway across the room, staring down at Sonera intently as she stood with that sheepish posture.
"You've got to stop doing that," Lila replied using her own Psionic voice. "Reminds me of Yrix."
Lunae's voice faded away. "I...I know. I'm sorry."
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _
Ivy stumbled into the bathroom, reaching for the white sink attatched to the tiled walls Yrix had so lovingly crafted for the girls. She had cleaned the place up since the girl's last saw it, even going as far as to add two entire branches to that wing of the Aerie, featuring showers and a locker room. Or perhaps, they were always there, and the girls merely unlocked the ability to reach them. One never could fault Yrix for being inconsiderate. Cruel and maniacal, maybe, but not inconsiderate.
"I can't..." Ivy stared at herself in the mirror, her sundered health coming into full view. "I shouldn't be here."
Ever since she had awoken in the aerie, she felt utterly humiliated. The one moment she was given to escape her father, and it was wasted. Her mother was revealed to be a monster, she longed for the clutches of her frigid home, and to cap it all off, she was trapped in a place she hated, all because she was too slow. Perhaps, Ivy thought, her sister was right. Maybe the only way to escape her father was to leave it all behind. The pride, the power, and the family sigil all had to go.
But she couldn't do it. Not now or ever. Ivy punched a hole clear through the glass mirror, forced her way into a shower, and spent nearly an hour cleaning herself, knowing full well she would just put on another set of her family's clothing.
She didn't know if it was spite or self-loathing that directed her actions. But she refused to throw it all away. The Tesselation brooch would stay on.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - -
"You want to know why?" Yrix stated plainly, sitting at her desk with a relaxed posture. "I can see it all over your mind, Lila, just spit it out."
"Actually," Lila strained a smile. "I was gonna ask if you were going to let Sonera in. She's been sitting outside your office for hours."
"Sonera doesn't want to see me, silly girl. She just likes to orbit around what she wants when she has nothing else to do."
"Oh right...she uhhh."
"She wants me dead. And I like it that way. Makes her a better student."
Lila grimaced. "So about my earlier question."
"Your feminine supplies are in the locker room. I stocked everything." Yrix replied as she waved her fingers in a somewhat agitated manner. "And yes, I checked on Rena, she's fine."
"No, but that's part of the question!" Lila threw her hands up, staring up at Yrix and her towering desk. "What's with all the...morbid mother shit! You're an insane psycho murder lady and yet...you feel responsible enough to pay attention to our needs?"
Yrix snickered. "It annoys you, doesn't it. To see something that doesn't fit your narrow worldview."
"You're still evil, don't get it mixed." Lila frowned.
"I love my students, Lila. That is all I have to say on the matter. The rest is up for you to decipher." Yrix eludicated.
Lila wanted to get mad. She wanted to tell that alien sadist she was full of it. But without hesitation, her thoughts turned to Ivy, and her anger was not but ash.
Yrix shrugged. "You're just not the sultry type."
"Alright then." Lila grinned smugly. "What's on my mind right now, O mother mine."
She thought that if she focused her attention on Ivy, it would throw Yrix off. Maybe even get the arrogant flayer to admit her shortcomings. But as with most things, Lila was being too optimistic.
"You like guns."
"Heh." Lila paused, her mouth agape. "What?"
"You like guns," Yrix repeated.
"But that's..."
Yrix's center eye beamed with pride. She loved it when she cornered someone. It let her rant. "You think you're the first one to try and make a mental barrier? You're an open book, little Lila. My limitations in mind-reading are, in fact...irrelevant when you keep projecting yourself like this. I'd even argue a blank could read you."
"A blank?" Lila tilted her head.
"Someone with as much Psionic potential as a potted plant. And don't change the conversation. Your obsession with that girl, distasteful as it may be, is an exploitable cover-up. You use her disgust towards you as an obstacle. Overwhelming and immutable, it distracts you from how you really feel. Lonely. Cold. Afraid. You want her to be that...how do they say it...found family for you because your actual family is gone. So you bury your traits, one by one, in a sad attempt to forget. But I know you, Lila. Who you really are. You like guns. And if your brother were here right now, you'd be gossiping with each other about mine. And the Vesper's. and Sonera's."
Lila had nothing to say. But her pain was apparent, and it brought Yrix immeasurable joy. That being said, a single spec of her conscience lit up, offering her student a way out of the gaping hole she just shoved her in.
"I can arrange something, if you'd like." Yrix rested her face on her palm, scraping her armored elbow against the desk.
Lila snapped out of her stupor just in time to suck her tears back into her eye. "Huh?"
"You heard me. I can put togethor a collection of firearms for you. From Earth and beyond. Let you pick which one you like. Or, I can splice something togethor for you. Consider it my gift."
"But why?" Lila sniffled.
"Because I care about my students. In my own...special way."
"I think I see why Sonera hates you."
"But you don't hate me, Lila. The same way you don't hate that heiress." Yrix snickered. "Because you're a toothless little coward. And I love you for that."
Lila didn't really have anything to say anymore. She would take up Yrix's offer when she was ready, for it was indeed that easy to lure her in. But moreover, she was just tired of everything. And to think it had only been a few days.
"So," Lila muttered in a cold tone, turning to leave after one last bit of small talk. "What's for dinner?"
"Lasagna. I threw in a little cookie for you."