Title: I Was Isekai'd With My Wife and Now She's the Final Boss of the Fandom Author: H. Behevras Genre: Comedy, Isekai, Music, Married Protagonist, Parody Tags: #FinalBossWife #MetalheadMC #BoybandHell #TrashIsekaiButActuallyGenius
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Chapter 23: The Musical Re-education Disaster. Part 1: The Great Reveal
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**Few weeks before REQUIEM6 first performance**
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Raiko walked into the company's rehearsal studio expecting the worst.
He found something infinitely more horrifying than his worst expectations.
The "metal backup band" that management had assembled looked like they'd been kidnapped from a royal wedding and forced to hold electric instruments at gunpoint.
"Good morning, Sir Raiko!" chirped a woman in an elaborate dress who was delicately cradling an electric bass like it might bite her.
"I'm Melody McHarpington, your new bassist!"
"I've been playing harp for the Royal Court for fifteen years!"
"...Harp," Raiko repeated weakly.
"Oh yes!"
"Beautiful, gentle melodies that soothe the soul and accompany poetry readings!" She strummed the bass strings with the touch of someone handling spun glass.
The result sounded like a dying whale having an existential crisis.
"I'm so excited to learn about this new 'metal' style!"
"The manager said it's like harp music, but with electricity!"
Raiko felt his soul attempting to evacuate through his ears.
"And I'm Percival the Gentle!" announced a man who looked like he'd stepped out of a medieval romance novel.
He held an electric guitar like it was a sacred relic.
"Court lute player!"
"I specialize in serenades, love ballads, and songs that make maidens swoon!"
He strummed a gentle chord that sounded absolutely beautiful and completely wrong for everything Raiko had ever stood for.
"I must admit," Percival continued, "I'm not entirely sure what 'metal' is, but I assume it's like lute music, just... harder?"
"Harder," Raiko echoed, his voice hollow with dawning horror.
"Indeed!" boomed a portly man behind a drum kit.
"Winslow Ticksworth, Royal Timpani and Ceremonial Percussion!"
"I've been keeping time for court dances and royal processions for twenty-three years!"
He demonstrated by playing what sounded like the opening to a waltz.
"One-two-three, one-two-three!"
"I assume metal is similar?"
"Perhaps... one-two-three but with MORE VIGOR?"
"And I'm Lady Cordelia Pianissimo," said an elegant woman seated at the keyboard, her posture so perfect it hurt to look at.
"Royal Court Pianist."
"I play for weddings, Lightbinding Ceremonies, and state dinners."
"My specialty is making beautiful, uplifting music that brings joy to all who hear it!"
She played a cascade of notes that sounded like angels having a tea party.
"I'm told that metal keyboards create 'atmospheric sounds,'" she continued brightly.
"I assume that means even MORE beautiful melodies to inspire happiness and light!"
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Raiko stared at this collection of musical excellence that was completely, utterly, catastrophically wrong for everything he was trying to accomplish.
"Has..." he began carefully, "has anyone ever told you what metal actually sounds like?"
Four blank, expectant faces stared back at him.
"We were told it's 'passionate music with feeling,'" Melody offered helpfully.
"The manager said it was 'aggressive pop,'" Percival added.
"'Energetic ceremonial music,'" Winslow contributed.
"'Keyboard music with more drama,'" Lady Cordelia concluded.
Raiko closed his eyes and counted to ten in three different languages.
"Right," he said finally. "We need to have a conversation about what metal actually is."
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TO BE CONTINUED
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Author's Note:
Yes, they're exactly as bad as you think.
No, this isn't me exaggerating for comedy — this is me holding back so Raiko doesn't start breaking instruments on page one.
The management clearly went down a list of "court-approved musicians" and thought, "Perfect, these people will definitely understand blast beats and double-kick drums."
Disclaimer: No harpists, lute players, pianists, or ceremonial drummers were harmed in the making of this chapter… yet.
— H. Behevras
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© 2025 H. Behevras | First published on Royal Road
Do not repost without permission.
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