(Yuuta POV)
"What a peaceful day..."
I murmured those words while standing in the kitchen, taking a moment to appreciate just how quiet our house was this morning. There were no unexpected visitors knocking on the door, no strange problems waiting for me outside, and most importantly, nothing had exploded yet.
A successful morning by Kounari family standards.
"Don't you think so, Erza?" I asked.
Erza was sitting comfortably on the sofa in the living room, watching television as though the peaceful morning I was appreciating had absolutely nothing to do with her. Her eyes remained fixed on the screen for several seconds before she finally answered.
"No. I don't think so."
I stared at her.
That was it?
No explanation. No argument. Not even a glance in my direction.
Just no.
"Ugh... so cold, as always," I barely whispered.
"What did you just say to me?"
My entire body stiffened.
What the fuck?
I slowly turned my head.
Erza was still sitting on the sofa, but she was no longer completely focused on the television. Her head had turned slightly toward the kitchen, and those cold eyes were now narrowed directly at me.
How did she even hear that?
There was a television playing between us!
"H-Haha..." I let out a nervous laugh while quickly looking around the kitchen as if I'd been talking about something completely different. "I mean... what would Your Majesty like to eat this morning?"
Erza continued staring at me.
I smiled.
She stared.
I smiled harder.
Her eyes narrowed a little more.
For several uncomfortable seconds, I genuinely couldn't tell whether she was deciding what she wanted for breakfast or deciding whether forgiving my earlier comment was worth the effort.
Finally, she sighed and turned her attention back toward the television.
"Choose whatever you like."
I relaxed.
Crisis successfully avoided.
"Whatever I like, huh?"
That actually made things easier.
I opened one of the cabinets and started checking what we had available. There were plenty of options, so making something simple shouldn't have been difficult.
"What about sandwiches?" I called from the kitchen.
"Lame."
My hand stopped.
Erza didn't even look away from the television.
"Don't make my mouth dry this early."
"...Okay."
Sandwiches were apparently forbidden.
I looked around again.
"What about soup?"
"Nah."
"Why?"
"I'm not sick."
I slowly closed my eyes.
Calm down, Yuuta.
It was still a beautiful morning.
"What about grilled mushrooms?"
This time Erza actually turned toward me.
"Who the fuck eats grilled mushrooms for breakfast?"
"People eat grilled mushrooms!"
"I'm not people."
"..."
What kind of argument was that?
I placed both hands against the kitchen counter and stared down at it for a few seconds.
"Then what do you want to eat, Erza?"
"Just make whatever you like."
My eyebrow twitched.
Whatever I liked?
Whatever I liked?!
This fucking lizard had the audacity to sit there and tell me I could make whatever I wanted while rejecting every single thing I suggested!
This wasn't freedom.
This was a test.
She was testing my patience.
I glanced toward the living room and found Erza peacefully watching television again, completely unaware or perhaps completely aware of the emotional suffering she was causing her husband.
For one dangerous moment, I considered saying exactly what was on my mind.
Then I looked down at my hand.
I concentrated slightly.
A tiny trace of my aura appeared around my fingers.
I stared at it.
Then I looked at Erza.
Then back at my hand.
"...Nah."
I quietly dismissed the aura.
Still a long way to go.
A wise husband needed to understand his position within the household hierarchy. Until the day I became strong enough to survive whatever Erza threw at me, some thoughts were better kept safely inside my head.
I sighed and started searching through the ingredients again.
Sandwiches were too dry.
Soup was apparently reserved for dying patients.
Grilled mushrooms had somehow offended her personally.
What the hell was left?
Then an idea came to me.
"What about pancakes?"
The moment that word left my mouth, I heard something from down the hallway.
"Pancake?"
I froze.
Erza glanced toward the hallway as well.
Oh no.
We had awakened it.
Quick little footsteps immediately came from the direction of the bathroom.
"Pancake!"
A few seconds later, Elena came running into the living room. She had apparently been washing her face because her cheeks were still wet, tiny drops of water clung to her chin, and she hadn't even bothered properly drying herself before rushing toward me.
"Pancake!" she repeated excitedly.
"Yes, Elena. Pancakes."
Her eyes practically sparkled.
"Elena love pancake!"
"I know."
"PAPA PANCAKE!"
She grabbed my leg.
"Papa pancake! Elena want pancake!"
"Okay, okay!" I laughed, looking down at the little creature now clinging to me. "Calm down. I'm not going to let the pancakes escape."
"Pancake!"
"Yes. Pancakes."
I reached down and wiped some of the water from her cheek with my hand.
"But first, we need to ask your mother."
Elena stopped.
I slowly looked toward the living room.
Elena followed my gaze.
The two of us stared at Erza.
Erza stared back.
For several seconds, nobody spoke.
Elena blinked innocently.
I waited.
Erza's eyes moved from me to Elena, then from Elena back to me. Her expression remained as cold as ever, but after another few seconds, she released a quiet sigh.
"Well... what can I say?"
Victory.
"But," she continued, "if you're going to make them, they had better be fabulous."
I grinned.
"As Your Majesty commands."
I immediately threw both hands into the air.
"It's decided!"
Elena looked at me for half a second before copying me, raising both of her tiny arms as high as she could.
"We're making pancakes!"
"YES! PANCAKE!"
Our voices echoed through the house.
Erza's eyebrow twitched.
"You two idiots."
Elena and I froze with our arms still raised.
"Can't you keep your voices down?" Erza asked coldly. "Our neighbors are going to think we're some kind of weird family."
Elena slowly lowered her arms.
I did the same.
Then the two of us looked at each other.
Honestly, I thought our neighbors had probably figured that out a long time ago.
Still, neither of us was brave enough to say it.
"We're sorry," Elena and I said at exactly the same time.
Erza stared at us.
I stared back.
Elena stared too.
Then Erza quietly turned back toward the television as though she had already exhausted her patience for the morning.
I looked down at Elena.
She looked up at me.
I nodded seriously.
"Pancake."
And just like that, our peaceful morning officially began.
Elena followed me into the kitchen the moment I started preparing everything. At first, I thought she was simply waiting for her pancakes, but after moving around for a while, I realized her eyes were following absolutely everything I did.
Whenever I opened a cabinet, she stretched her neck to see inside.
Whenever I picked something up, her eyes immediately moved toward my hand. She looked like a curious little monkey trying desperately to understand some mysterious secret of the adult world.
Honestly, having her watch me that closely was making me nervous.
"Elena, can you wait over there for Papa?" I asked, pointing toward the dining table. "Papa has to make the pancakes."
"Why?" Elena asked immediately, looking genuinely confused by my request. "Elena want to eat pancake first."
"I know you want to eat pancakes, but they don't magically appear on the plate." I crouched slightly and pointed toward the kitchen counter.
"Papa has to make the batter first, then heat the pan, put the batter inside, fry it properly, flip it over, and then"
I stopped talking as soon as I opened the shelf.
For a few seconds, I simply stared at what was in front of me. Something didn't seem right, although my brain hadn't immediately figured out what it was. I moved a few containers around, checked behind them, and then opened another shelf just to make sure I wasn't remembering things incorrectly.
"Wait..."
Where the hell was everything?
I opened another cabinet and started checking properly this time. Flour was nearly gone, and several other things I remembered buying were either missing or much lower than they should have been. I could have sworn I'd filled our kitchen with enough rations to last us quite a while, so seeing everything suddenly disappear made absolutely no sense.
"What the hell?" I muttered, rubbing the side of my head.
"What happened?" Erza asked from the living room.
I leaned slightly out of the kitchen and looked toward her. She was still sitting comfortably on the sofa, although her attention had finally moved away from the television.
"I'm running out of ingredients."
Erza stared at me for a moment before releasing a tired sigh. "When did you become this irresponsible, Yuuta?"
"Hey, I'm not irresponsible." I immediately defended myself before turning back toward the cabinets.
"I remember filling our rations. There was enough here. I'm sure of it."
There was absolutely no way I had forgotten something that simple. I was the one who usually dealt with these things, and even if my memory wasn't perfect, I wouldn't somehow forget buying this much food. Something else must have happened to it.
That was when I noticed something even more suspicious.
Elena had become silent.
A moment ago, she had been watching everything I did like an overly curious monkey. Now, for some mysterious reason, my beloved daughter had turned her entire body slightly away from me and was staring at the kitchen wall as though it were suddenly the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen.
My eyes narrowed.
"Elena."
"Yes, Papa?"
She answered immediately.
But she didn't look at me.
I slowly crossed my arms. "Elena, you know lying is bad, right?"
Her little shoulders stiffened.
There it was.
The reaction of a criminal.
"If you did something, you should tell Papa now." I tried to make my voice sound serious, although watching her suddenly become so nervous was making it difficult not to smile. "Because if you don't tell me..."
I deliberately paused.
Elena finally turned her head and looked at me.
I lowered my voice.
"...I'll tell Santa about it."
Her eyes widened.
Perfect.
"And then Santa will know Elena was lying to Papa, so maybe this year he won't bring you any gifts."
"No!"
Elena immediately rushed toward me and grabbed my leg.
"Papa, don't tell Santa Uncle!" she cried, staring up at me with genuine horror. "Elena will tell! Elena will tell Papa!"
I almost felt bad.
Almost.
I crossed my arms again and looked down at the tiny criminal clinging to my leg.
"Then tell me."
Elena slowly released me. Her earlier excitement had completely disappeared, and she began rubbing her little fingers together while staring guiltily at the floor.
"Elena..." she quietly began.
I waited.
"Elena was trying to make pancake yesterday."
My expression changed.
"You were doing what?"
"Pancake..."
"By yourself?"
She nodded.
I stared at her for a few seconds, suddenly understanding why my ingredients had mysteriously disappeared.
"And what happened to these pancakes?"
Elena lowered her head even further.
"It got bad."
Of course it did.
"So Elena..." She hesitated before pointing toward the refrigerator. "...hide it inside fridge."
"What?"
I immediately walked toward the refrigerator and pulled the door open.
For several seconds, I couldn't say anything.
There, sitting proudly inside my refrigerator, was an enormous bowl.
A very familiar enormous bowl.
And inside that bowl was enough pancake batter to feed a small army.
I slowly pulled it out and placed it on the counter. The moment I looked inside properly, however, whatever hope I'd had of somehow saving the ingredients disappeared.
The mixture was a disaster.
There were lumps of flour floating everywhere, the batter was ridiculously thick in some places and watery in others, and something oily was sitting across the surface. I stared at it for a few seconds before dipping a spoon inside and lifting it slightly.
Oil.
She had mixed cooking oil directly into the entire thing.
A lot of cooking oil.
"Oh God..."
I placed the spoon back down and rubbed both hands over my face.
Behind me, Elena remained completely silent.
I slowly turned around.
She was standing there with her head lowered and both hands behind her back, occasionally glancing up at me before quickly looking away again. She clearly knew she'd done something wrong, which made it difficult for me to actually become angry with her.
I sighed and looked back at the enormous bowl.
"Elena..."
"Yes, Papa?"
"How many pancakes were you planning to make?"
She thought about my question seriously.
Then she raised both arms as wide as she could.
"Big pancake."
I stared at her.
Of course.
Why did I even ask?
Elena looked at my expression for a few seconds before suddenly giggling, apparently finding the entire situation much funnier than I did. I could only sigh as I looked back at the enormous bowl of ruined pancake batter sitting on the counter. There was no point getting angry now. The ingredients were already gone, and unless I planned to serve my family whatever strange oily creature Elena had created, there was only one thing left for me to do.
"Erza," I called.
Erza finally pulled her attention away from the television and looked toward me. "What?"
"Can you handle Elena for me? I'm going shopping." I gestured toward the disastrous bowl sitting beside me. "We need more ingredients, and apparently our daughter decided to use half the kitchen for her secret pancake experiment."
Elena immediately looked away as though she had absolutely no connection to the incident.
Erza glanced at her before returning her eyes to me. "Fine. But don't be late."
"I won't."
I was about to turn away when Erza spoke again.
"And..."
I stopped.
Something about her voice sounded different, so I looked back at her. Erza had already returned her attention to the television, but she wasn't actually watching it anymore. Her lips parted slightly as though she wanted to say something, yet for some reason the words refused to come out.
"And what?" I asked.
Erza remained silent for another second.
"...Be careful."
I blinked.
That was unexpected.
There was nothing particularly dangerous about going to the market. I wasn't leaving the country or heading toward some battlefield. I was literally going out to buy flour, milk, eggs, and whatever else Elena had sacrificed in the name of pancake research.
But that wasn't why her words surprised me.
It was because Erza had actually said them.
For most people, telling their husband to be careful before leaving the house would probably be completely normal. For Erza, however, even something that simple could become strangely difficult. She could feel affection perfectly well; showing it was where everything became complicated. Sometimes it was almost as though the moment she realized she cared too openly, she didn't know what she was supposed to do next.
A smile naturally appeared on my face.
"Thanks. I will."
Erza's eyes shifted slightly toward me.
"And I'll buy you something while I'm out."
That did it.
A faint redness appeared across her cheeks, and she immediately turned her face back toward the television as though whatever was happening on the screen had suddenly become extremely important.
I sighed.
"Uff, Erza. We're married. You know you're allowed to show me a little love."
Her head immediately snapped toward me.
"Who the hell loves you?"
Her voice remained cold, but her face had betrayed her completely.
I stared at those red cheeks for a moment.
"...No one."
"Good."
"Okay."
Sometimes retreat was the difference between a peaceful marriage and becoming an ice sculpture.
I grabbed what I needed and started heading toward the door. "Anyway, I'm going. I'll be back soon."
Before I could take another step, however, something suddenly wrapped around my leg.
"Huh?"
I looked down.
Elena had grabbed me with both arms.
"What happened, Elena?"
She tilted her head upward until those big eyes were staring directly into mine.
"Papa."
"Yes?"
"I want shopping."
I smiled slightly. "You want to come shopping with Papa?"
That wasn't particularly surprising. Elena loved following me whenever I went somewhere, but considering how much I needed to buy today, bringing her along would make things considerably more troublesome.
"Hmm... not today, Elena. Papa has a lot of things to buy, so it'll be difficult to carry everything while looking after you."
Elena immediately shook her head.
"No, no."
I frowned. "No?"
"Elena don't want go with Papa."
That made me pause.
Then what was she talking about?
Elena finally released my leg and stood proudly in front of me. Whatever guilt she'd felt about destroying the pancake ingredients had apparently vanished, because there was now a strange determination in her eyes.
"Elena want to go shopping..."
She paused dramatically.
"...alone."
My brain stopped for a moment.
From the living room, the television continued playing as though nothing unusual had happened.
Then Erza and I spoke at exactly the same time.
"What?"
Elena nodded confidently.
"Yes! Elena want shopping alone!"
I stared at my daughter.
Then I looked at Erza.
Erza was staring at Elena.
We both looked back at our tiny daughter, who seemed completely unaware that she'd just suggested something absolutely ridiculous.
Elena placed both hands against her waist and proudly raised her chin.
"Elena do shopping alone!"
And somehow, just like that, my peaceful morning had officially ended.
To Be Continued...