I tried not to show how satisfying that sounded, but, yeah. Might have got a tad smug because Briggy rolled her eyes. I rubbed my mouth hard and said, "Listen, Timo. No-one's going to talk straight with you so I'm going to try. If you're happy with the next few weeks being the end of your career as a football manager, that's cool. God knows I understand that it's not all fun and games. If you want to cling on for as long as poss before riding off into the sunset with a six-pack and a six-string, go for it."
"Fuck me," he said, pulling his hands down his face.
I shook my head, but I knew something about TJ no-one else did. Just as players had profiles, so did managers and coaches. The three most important attributes - in my opinion - were Coaching Outfield Players; Judging Player Ability; and Tactical Knowledge. Good scores in those three were the basis of being a good football manager. Timo's numbers were solid, though his tactics score was unusually high for the level he was working at.
The problem was that, in the time since I'd met him, none of the numbers had risen and two had fallen. The entries for Determination and Man Management were red.
I tried to handle this part with more tact than came naturally. "I'm not a psychologist but you seem jaded. Burned out, maybe. You need a break but you're not going to get one. You're going to get sacked and it's going to be very hard to get another job because when people see you they see an unserious playboy. You were lucky the Bitcoin boys gave you a shot. I like that about them - they're batshit crazy but they look beyond the obvious. There aren't many Bitcoin bros running decent-sized football clubs, are there? I should check with Lee Contreras; he loves crypto stuff. Anyhoo, most clubs make their hiring decisions based on data and the data says you're outperforming your resources by a small margin. You're within the margin of error, Timo. There's no evidence you'll definitely improve a team. The more you lose, the more your perceived flaws as a person come into focus."
Briggy made a little noise. "How do you survive your flaws?"
"What flaws?" I wondered.
"He doesn't lose," said TJ, defending me even as I was interventioning him against his will.
"I'll be sacked the day I lose six in a row," I said. "Same as everyone." I poured more wine into the glass and took a swig from the bottle. Briggy let out a tiny gasp. I handed it to her. She looked at the label again and took a swig herself. We smiled at each other. To my friend, I said, "You're not working on your skills. I know you aren't motivated to do that just now but you need to. Go to watch matches. No, don't tell me you watch games on TV. It's not the same." The currency of my curse was experience points. I earned them by watching live football and could spend XP to buy cool new powers. The amounts I got varied but there was one constant - it had to be live football. It stood to reason the same effect applied to people who didn't have the curse. "Go to matches. All levels. You'll spot interesting players, see solutions to problems - both good and bad, and you'll see how other managers are approaching tactical challenges. Oh, and the optics might be beneficial to you right now."
"What do you mean by optics?"
"Maybe you'll get spotted at a few of these matches and the Crawley fans will see how hard you're working. Maybe your future employers will see you grinding. Maybe you'll even meet a few club owners on your travels."
"No-one's going to fucking spot me, Max. No-one gives a shit about me."
"Oh, Briggy, could you pass me the world's tiniest violin, please? I think it's on that shelf there."
"Get fucked, Max."
"Look, if you want to get papped, it's easy. Come with me and Emma to a few games. Sit next to us and you'll get picked up by the TV cameras. I'm the face of Soccer Supremo and those cameraman are so horny for blondes it's actually distressing."
TJ rubbed the side of his index finger with his thumb. "You'd let me piggyback on your fame?"
I looked away. "I don't have a lot of manager friends, Timo. If you have some fight left in you, I'll be right by your side. Not enough to give you three points or let you have Lee Contreras for cheap but anything else." He scrunched his face up for a second. I wasn't sure what that meant so I pressed on with the intervention. "When I lose my passion I go to watch the kids in training, or watch the Chester Knights."