When... did she realize she had started to depend on her trainer?
Silence Suzuka still remembered that year, when almost all of her classmates had stepped onto the racetrack after entering middle school. And she, because of her slow development, could only watch as her peers won their debut races and officially began their journey as horse girls...
It was also at that time that she met the most extraordinary person in her life, a trainer who was not as she had imagined, but who had indeed come to save her. He was not like a prince from a fairy tale, just a young trainer in a wheelchair, terminally ill. He extended a hand of recognition to her, who was not yet fully developed and was not favored by anyone.
"Silence Suzuka, right? I'm Kitano Ryuichi, a trainer who got into Tracen Academy through the back door—you can just think of it that way."
"As you can see, I'm clearly a person who can't run anymore. But... if you're willing, you can be my legs and see the view from the very front of the racetrack. What do you think?"
—To be his legs. This was the most perfect love confession she had ever heard in her life.
Perhaps it was because her feelings of being unrecognized at the time were touched, or perhaps it was a fated feeling that this man was someone she could trust for the rest of her life. That day, the little Suzuka grabbed his hand, and at that moment, the barrier to her development, which she had never been able to break through, was quietly broken.
In just a few days, she had transformed from a small horse girl into a tall, model-like one. This "coincidence" of a miracle made her see a taste of fate... perhaps in her life, she was destined to have such a trainer who could not run.
And the meaning of her existence was to be his legs, to take him to run, to take him to see the unobstructed view from the front that he could not achieve but could witness through her legs.
And from that day on, the running style that would influence her entire life slowly took shape in her heart—she would be his legs, taking him to see the unobstructed view from the front! She would be the fastest horse girl!
...And when did she find that she was becoming more and more inseparable from her trainer?
Day after day of being together, from the moment she proposed her tactic of winning in the fastest way, she found that every decision she made, even the ones she knew were very willful, were so easily accepted by her trainer. It was as if he didn't know how to refuse her requests, accepting everything she said.
And his repeated recognition, his repeated improvements based on her ideas, made the once-inferior Suzuka, due to her slow growth, slowly regain her confidence. And for the "explosive escape" tactic she proposed, he also ruffled her head and said with a smile:
"This tactic is very aggressive, so you have to be confident and believe that you are the fastest. No matter when, you have to have the determination to lead from start to finish. I believe you can do it, Suzuka."
...Courage, but in fact, all my courage comes from you, Trainer-san.
She knew very well that the confidence she had to use the "explosive escape" tactic in her first race and even win by seven lengths was not from her confidence in her own strength, but from his repeated encouragement and recognition in her ear, which made her believe she could do it.
And this also led to a small after-effect... that is, once he was not by her side, the originally well-performing Suzuka would suddenly feel flustered, her shell of confidence would be broken at once, and she would immediately show her anxiety.
For example, in the GII Yayoi Sho before the Classic Triple Crown, just before entering the gate, she suddenly couldn't find his position in the stands, which made her extremely restless after entering the gate. Even at the last moment before the race started, she crawled out from under the gate just to find her trainer.
This scene even became a topic of teasing for many of her peers later on. And although she herself was a little shy about it, in fact, her heart was more of a secret joy.
Because at that time, everyone could see her "affection" and dependence on him. Many people had even guessed that she had extraordinary feelings for her trainer. It could be said that at that time, Trainer-san belonged only to her. In everyone's eyes, they were the only pair bound together.
And to this, although she had never responded directly, in her heart, she did not deny her love for him.
This person who had saved her from her predicament, given her a reason to run, and allowed her to enjoy the joy of running freely... though he was a little sickly, though his body was a little weak, but his repeated encouragement, his repeated recognition, what reason did she have to say, "she and Trainer-san are not in that kind of relationship"?
But what troubled her a little was... she clearly knew he had noticed all of this, but in the process of getting along, she had never seen her trainer respond to her hints in this regard even once. This person who was closest to her always chose to deliberately avoid it at the last moment, instead of responding to her feelings.
For this, she had once complained to her friends about this problem. And as her senior, Air Groove, who was known as the "Empress," had answered this question for her:
"I think your trainer is not unaware of your feelings. On the contrary, it is precisely because he has noticed all of this that he has not responded to you."
"Suzuka, have you forgotten that the cancer your trainer has is a time bomb that could kill him at any moment? How can you expect him to accept your love like this? You don't think he's the kind of person who, after accepting your love, can bear to let you live as a widow, do you?"
At that time, Air Groove's logical argument had plunged her into a silence. And Air Groove clearly knew very well that for her, he was her everything. Therefore, faced with the somewhat dejected Suzuka at this moment, she also answered with some reluctance:
"This question, Suzuka, you have to think it through yourself... Your trainer is not someone who can abandon all objective facts and be with you. He is an adult, and a terminally ill adult at that. He will not want to drag you down, nor will he actively confess to you."
"Actually, from a rational point of view, I should also advise you to give up... but we horse girls, every one of us treats feelings with sincerity. This is a blessing from the Three Goddesses. It's just that now it has fallen on you... I don't know if this is a blessing or a curse."
"So, you must think it through. Is Trainer Kitano worth you abandoning everything, just to live a short period of happy life with him, and abandon all the happiness of the rest of your life."
"I think this is also what he hopes you can think through before making a decision, Suzuka."
—That was the first time in her life that she had begun to seriously think about her future. She began to realize that this simple and peaceful life with him seemed to be really not going to last long. And one day in the future, if she and he ended their relationship, then their seemingly harmonious life now would be completely gone.
The one-sided Suzuka suddenly realized that the biggest obstacle to all of this was not their feelings, but the insurmountable illness that she did not know how to overcome. It was because of this illness that he could not accept her love, and it was because of this incurable cancer that they could never cross that final line.
But at least... she could understand that her trainer liked her. He just didn't want to drag her down, didn't want her future to be lived in his shadow... He hoped that she could continue to run like this.
If that was the case... maybe she could accept it too. This relationship, which was probably destined to end without a result, she would use her whole life to cherish it as much as possible.
She knew that she and her trainer would probably not have any results in this life. But her deep love, and her fastest expression, which was as undisguised as her "explosive escape," made her maintain her usual close relationship with him in the future.
It's just that from then on, she never mentioned anything about her feelings for him again. She didn't want to put more pressure on her trainer. She just wanted to... spend more time by his side in the limited time she had.
Until her love, with his departure, was forever buried in the soil.
It was originally like this. After seeing the reality, she had originally thought so. She had guessed that her feelings for him would have a plain but beautiful ending. She had been mentally prepared—until the appearance of another person.
It was at the end of her classic year, when she and he had agreed to go back to her hometown in Hokkaido for the New Year. She knew her trainer was alone, so she planned to invite him to her hometown every year in the future. This should have been a day of greatest joy for her, but on that day, she and he, on the streets of Hokkaido, witnessed an extremely magical scene.
She saw a small horse girl, with an extremely fierce expression, chasing and beating several older, also horse girl, senior students. The little horse girl's physical fitness was clearly naturally higher than the others. In a short while, she had cornered them against a wall, looking as if she was about to start a fight.
"Spe-chan! Why are you fighting again?!"
And just as he and she were considering whether to intervene, a blonde woman who had been chasing them in a scooter shouted, interrupting the commotion. The horse girls who were being beaten by the girl named "Spe-chan" also scattered in tears. And "Spe-chan," faced with the arriving blonde woman, shouted with extreme dissatisfaction and grievance:
"Mom, it's not my fault! They started it! They said I don't have a father!"
However, her explanation clearly could not justify her actions, or perhaps because this had happened too many times, this blonde mother had developed a resistance. And when she witnessed her being taken away by the ear by her mother, she couldn't help but say softly to him beside her:
"It seems that life in the Hokkaido horse girl academy is not necessarily so harmonious, don't you think, Trainer-san?"
However, unexpectedly not getting a response from him, she turned her head in surprise. And she would never forget, at that moment, the look in his eyes as he looked at the girl named "Spe-chan," filled with such surprise and joy, and those expressions... made her feel a slight tightness in her chest, a painful feeling of difficulty breathing, which almost immediately welled up in her heart.
That was the first time she had felt the emotion called "jealousy" by his side, and the tension of her position being challenged. And at that time, she met her first real competitor in her life, the name of the only horse girl who could possibly shake her position in the future.
—Special Week.
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