If you ever came to me and said, "Charu, he never had those eyes for you. He never did. You were never enough for him," I would have laughed in your face. Because if you only knew how Shresth was with me, you would have never dared to say that.
At times, even I questioned myself—why am I doing this? This will never be anything more than a fragile dream. But then, there he was—woven into every corner of my life. My mornings began with him and my nights ended with his thoughts. He was everywhere—an unshakable presence I could neither resist nor deny.
He knew me too well. Too deeply. And the way he spoke sometimes… it was enough to make me believe that no matter what the world said, a part of me would always belong to him. It didn't matter whether we were dating or not, whether there was a label attached to us or not—what we had was more than just words. Some connections don't need proposals, declarations, or titles. They only need presence, truth, and time to grow.
And my heart screamed only one truth—it loved him. Fiercely, recklessly, shamelessly.
But fate… fate always laughs at us. Because by the end of September, I found myself standing at a crossroad. I thought I could give this love a chance, even if it was wrong. But was it wrong to love someone who once belonged to another woman? To want a man who still carried the weight of promises he made to someone else?
Yes, officially they had broken up. But I knew Shresth too well—he wasn't the kind of man who threw away his words lightly. Commitments meant something to him. His promises meant everything. And that was the knife twisting inside me—because where did that leave me?
Was I really the villain for falling in love with another woman's man?
Did that make me weak?
Did it mean I had no standards?
People could say what they wanted. All I knew was that I loved him—with every ounce of my soul.
He wasn't just another boy. He had walked into my life during the chaos of 12th grade and somehow carved a place in it. He saw through me when nobody else did. He listened when I was breaking. He was my comfort, my anchor. And for the first time in my life, I trusted someone so completely that I wanted to believe he would never break that trust.
I knew everything about him—his past, his mistakes, his friends, his stories. And I loved hearing them. Every time he opened up, I felt like he was handing me pieces of his heart. And slowly, without even realizing, I began to fall in love with all the things that made him who he was.
I never cared for business. But now I wanted to learn—because he was passionate about it. I never cared for cars. But when I heard how much he loved them, I caught myself daydreaming about buying him one someday.
Me—the feminist, the "man-hater," the stubborn eldest daughter raised like a spoiled princess—I was changing. All because of him.
I never baked in my life. But when I heard he loved home-baked cakes, I baked for him. Love can make you do crazy things.
And still, even with everything, I didn't know what he truly felt about me. Did he just see me as a friend? Something less? Something more? I didn't know. But I knew this—he always chose to meet me. No matter how busy his day was, he came. Sometimes near my tuition. Sometimes near the coke shop. Sometimes at the bus stop. And not once did I ask him to. He came because he wanted to.
"Charu, you both wait for just one glance of each other," Priyanka once teased. "And then you say this isn't love?"
Maybe it was. Maybe it wasn't. But whatever it was, it was real.
On the 28th of September, I wrote a diary entry. I titled it Turns of Life.
Fall has started. Summer is fading, and winter will soon arrive. These are the times when life begins to turn. Soon I'll be graduating from class 12, standing at a crossroad of choices, yet I also want to create memories in this last year of school.
Everyone knows—Charu doesn't believe in breaking bonds unless things truly get messy. Fewer friends, but connections with everyone—that's the way I want to be. And a reminder to myself: no scandals. Keep life simple. I come from a respected family, and I should never let my mischievous habits risk that reputation.
And about love… don't fall for it, Charu. Most of it is a trap. Focus on your career—your life is yours alone. If ever you must sacrifice, sacrifice for yourself, not for someone else. Nothing is permanent. Today you may have someone, tomorrow you may not even be in touch. That's life. You must grow mature enough to accept it. You can't always fit yourself into someone's story—those who truly want you there will always make space. What is meant for you will find you. It's destiny.
From this moment, my only focus should be my 12th boards. I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't even want to lie to my parents. Their trust is my biggest treasure, and I'll never break it. I just want good for everyone—for those who stood by me from the start, I wish nothing but the best.
And deep inside, I have this wish—that I grow strong enough to never feel "less than" anyone. That I live boldly, not just as a girl, but as someone capable of anything. And maybe most of all… I wish happiness and success for Gyaan.
His nickname. Because how could I write about life and not write about him?
Shresth had become a part of me in ways I didn't even notice. And maybe that was why it hurt so much when I realized… not everything that looks beautiful is true.
Shikha warned me once. "Charu, he may be a nice guy, but he overexplains. And you—you're an overthinker. Be careful."
I didn't listen. I didn't want to listen.
But then came the moment I never saw coming.
One confession. One truth.
And suddenly, everything I had built—the safe space, the hopes, the laughter, the love—came crashing down like a fragile house of cards.
A confession that destroyed me.