I opened my eyes, pushed bangs out of sight, and turned my head to a side. The pulse was pounding in my ears and temples, and I felt like I was going to have a stroke. Austin's familiar face came into view.
This chaotic jerk had the audacity to grin with all his teeth when my head hurts so much!
"Voila, buddy, you're on vacation! Hehe!"
He pointed his finger at the purple sky.
Purple sky?!
"I just asked for a ride to Hogwarts or some other magical school, Austin," I muttered, dumbfounded, and in a completely changed voice. Not my own voice at all, literally. "Am I doing it again?"..
"No, no one killed you, it's just another adventure of a part of your soul along with a copy of consciousness!" This weirdo said that very enthusiastically. "And you can't kill yourself because of that promise I caught a whisper of from our mutual friend Rei. Right?"
"Uh-uh... Why do you recall that now? And who even let her tell everyone..."
"No, no, no," this degenerate clicked his tongue. "I'm not everyone. I'm your ongoing employer, so to speak, until you yourself learn how to do this-that and here-there! And you should study those and thems, too, or you'll keep getting attracted to boobs, Chaos give me strength..."
"I'd be extremely surprised if I stopped being attracted to boobs," I remarked, somewhat puzzled. "I am confident in my sexual orientation."
"Oh, no," he waved it off and laughed. "It's not about that! Tell me, are you familiar with the concept of a "Boob Dragon"? Or the "World of Boob Devils", maybe?
"Uh-uh... I have too much headache for such conversations," I rubbed the bridge of my nose and tapped my knuckle between eyebrows, trying to remember, despite the fact that it was a strange phrase.
Something was sparkling somewhere in the brain, but I still couldn't remember.
"It seems like something familiar, like I read fanfiction after a workout, but if there wasn't some cool music accompanying it or something, you know, profoundly altering my perception of reality in a good way, then I am sure not to remember it. Who do you think I am anyway? Am I supposed to remember all the anime and TV series? And the fanfiction that I ever read only after training, and only after leg day? I don't even know how I crawled back home most of the times, and you want me to remember this shit!"
"Boring, you are, and in need of some Chaos," my self-volunteering employer even deflated in his disappointment. "In general, this is again a work on a cluster of worlds, and to some extent received from the local embodiment of the Chaos, the Red Dragon of the Dream. Any cluster of worlds has both bad timelines and good ones, but not a single representative of our... worldview, let's just say, could wish for everything to turn into... a kind of manufactory. The Great Red Dragon ended up too fucked up after looking at the same thing over and over again, dear White. Although, it's more like dear Crimson now, hehe..."
"Were you trying to call me by my first name just now?"
I scratched my chin in disbelief and only a second later came to my senses and jumped up from the grass.
"How the hell I am boring! I asked you, you swine, to give me some sort of manual on magic for dummies as an aid to improve my work, and you divided me into pieces and scattered around! Learn this and that and here and there, my ass! How am I going to do this, you, asshole, just by imagination? I need teachers! I need what-who and how-where! And not all this shit!"
"Calm down, buddy, you're starting to shriek like a girl, and a girl's shrieking is an obstacle to our communication and bringing you up to speed, so do shut up, please," Austin hissed at me, and then I finally noticed what he meant by that boobs attracting commentary earlier.
"Were you too weak to stick me in the dude?" I whined, while trying - with a slight sense of deja vu - to find something that wasn't there by pushing my hips together and rubbing knee against knee. "Su-u-u-ka-a-a... And there's also these purple skies!"
I saw this miracle once again when I raised my eyes to the sky, and immediately wished to stop being permanently fucked in the head by purple skies without any signs of the sun. And as usual, my wishes tend to come true in a way that anyone could do without.
"Until you get a real nice leap in the powers of your soul, your reincarnation will still be activated by that fox mark, with which everything began after your death. And after that vacation thing you said, I thought I could really help you develop," Austin shrugged. "So, about the briefing..."
"Where is the owner of the body?" I asked bluntly, interrupting him and not regretting it at all. "And let's not joke around. Could you also clarify if everything went well with what you originally hired me for? I have no information in my head about the expulsion of another variation of Salem into reincarnation. You laid me on the couch, covered me with a blanket, hit me on the head, and when I came to, I told you that I needed a vacation where I could learn magic. Because I didn't understand anything, but I realized that you did something. And I shat myeself worse than that time I accidentally drank the detox-tea instead of Renee, my barely there mom figure from my twilight experience. God bless her, she was quite daft, honestly..."
"This is the body of a local devil, one of the types of supernatural beings from the so-called Biblical faction."
At this point, my jaw dropped and my fists itched.
He continued.
"Devils, as you know from all sorts of myths, can eat souls, physically. And, well, conceptually, I can do anything, so I've turned the process back and forth, and that's why you, my dear friend, have the opportunity to relax in a world where you don't even have to try that hard to learn magic! And what's even better!" He pointed the finger-pistols at me and winked. "It depends entirely on your imagination! As it should be for a real Chaos magician! The main thing, of course, in such a body, is not to succumb to sins and so on, otherwise you will also succumb to the local system yourself, instead of breaking it! As befits a Chaos mage!"
"What does this even mean!"
I was mentally tired, and the only thing I liked about it all was just the very beautiful and unusual hair color of this body. They were so long that it was impossible not to see and touch them, being already conscious. Of course, I'll cut them to hell, at least to the shoulders for a start, but the color? If the Biblical supernatural faction exists here, it means that God himself, not evolution, gave me this beautiful trait.
"And yes, thank you God for such a cool hair color," I muttered and scratched my chin. "Since I know that you can probably hear it, then why not say my thanks, really..."
"I give you this advice, from the bottom of my heart," Austin put his hand on my shoulder and looked unusually seriously into my eyes.
Somehow I even felt ashamed, although I don't know why and what prompted this feeling, but maybe it's just a body reaction.
"Don't do that in front of other devil cubs, they can't do that, they'll get jealous and rat you out to the elders. And this is a pure-blooded demoness from the Gremory Pillar, so they'll burn your cover like it's nothing."
"So where's the mistress?" I repeated the burning question and looked at my small hands. "She's not that old... Or are the devils growing slower here?"
"This body is eleven, these documents for boarding the train across Ginnungagap say that her name is Gabrias Gremory," he handed me a corner folder made of dark leather, from which the papers he mentioned were sticking out carelessly. "By the way, I didn't know that about her until today, hehe. So, going back to your question, if you throw a piece of a soul to a devil, and you don't control it, then the devil will devour that piece and not even choke a bit, especially such an untrained and lazy devil like our little Rias here."
"You sound like a pedophile now, to be honest," I moved away from the grinning jerk, crawling away almost on the strength of my rear rolls, because my hands were clutching the folder, and on my feet there were shoes with not too comfortable heels. "I take it you've checked the soul thing?"
"Yeaup!" Austin vigorously nodded. "Your other particle helped me a lot, and I decided to give you a real vacation! It has everything! Succubi, Valkyries, Fallen Angels, regular Angels that you can fall if you try very hard, cute church-girls, nature spirits, goddesses, and even the cutest magial girl, moonlighting as Satan, miracle Levia-tan!"
"I just wanted to go to a magic school, Austin, any normal one, not even Hogwarts, would suit me," I sniffed, and my chin trembled on its own. "And I would really like all this, you bastard, because you already mentioned that the devils here are super magically gifted, yes! But, you dumb shit on a stick, I'm a girl!"
"Well, yes, but!" he shook his index finger, still smiling. "You have a little task that will help to dispel the boredom of all these identical issei-harem worlds for the Great Red! He's our brother in Chaos, so I thought about it and decided..."
"For me!"
"For you, " Austin nodded, with a serious expression on his face, so pleased with himself that my fingers grew into claws by themselves. "Hmm, how did you do that..."
"I want to fix you up real quick, so it came out on its own," I informed him and thought about it, clenching and unclenching my fingers. "An interesting feature."
"It's usually a bug if you don't control it," Austin stammered out, but I met his crazy gaze with mine, a little less crazy, but still striving for the ideal.
"And what kind of issei-harem worlds are these? And what does it even mean?"
"Uh, well, in general, this body of yours has an amazing opportunity to achieve anything that comes to mind, and the luck on the level of "as a child fell into the cauldron of potion" like Asterix, only there was a Felix Felicis in a cauldron."
"It was Obelix who fell into the cauldron, Austin, how huge of a dimwit are you even?" I rolled my eyes and kicked him in the shin, without any force but still noticeable. "But why are you talking about it like it's something bad?"
"You remember, there was a kind of a trick to Felicis, I did read Harry Potter stuff, for the job thingy, yeah?.."
"Yeah," I got into the habit of interrupting him, because his long-playing monologues didn't get me anywhere, to be honest! "Depending on the situation and possibilities and, well, realism... Like, if you go to a duel where you definitely won't win, then the potion will make you stumble or something. And if there are opportunities around, and you don't know about them, but the reality is aware of those, then you could stumble upon them and use them to your advantage."
"That's right, and judging by your interest, you'd be having real fun at Hogwarts, but sorry, buddy, they've already wreaked some Chaos in that cluster without us. I mean, without you. So, do that on your own sometime later, yeah?"
"Uh-huh," I scowled and hugged knees to my chest. "And when is that train across Ginna... Ginugap? What kind of animal is this?"
"The interdimensional abyss," Austin chuckled and began to smile again. "You're not that good at mythologies. Only in Potter's potions, right? Ha ha ha!"
"Your briefing continues for quite a while, mage," I sighed wearily and looked at the girl's childish hands again. "This is the first time since my first world that I am in such a small body and in control of everything. Why so early?"
"Because there is only one request from the Great Red, and I would never be able to fulfill it myself."
"Which one?"
"To deprive the protagonist - any of them - his Harem," he said it as if it were something sacred.
"Is your roof leaking in there, you bugger?" I asked incredulously. "How old are you in total? Seventeen and a half? I'm a serial monogamous person, and I understand everything about different women and different wishes, but have you ever fully dated one woman? Harem my ass, I barely had enough emotional energy for one at a time! If there is no foundation for a relationship, then it would get fu..."
"Stop babbling, I'm not talking about that at all," he also sat down on the grass opposite and slapped his knees, attracting my attention from somewhere from the depths of indignation to the real world, where obviously a harem is not some kind of bullshit, but quite an okay thing to do, apparently. "There are just such protagonists here... Everything seems to be within the framework of Chaos, yes, but when this is repeated from time to time throughout the multiverse cluster, with the exception of some apocalypses, even the Great Red in his entire multiverse glory raises some questions. And devils have harems - it's a cultural thing, fertility is less than one percent. Someone's going to get knocked up, that's the way it is. Once every half a thousand years or so."
"So maybe it's not the quantity?" I almost howled at the illogicality of the information. "Like my kitsune darlings, they are spiritually saturated beings, or am I mistaken? Maybe there's something in this..."
"Hey, hey, friend, don't overexert yourself, I'm going to leave you soon anyway, and I'll leave everything to such an adult you are, to fix this stuff up," he interrupted me and giggled in an extremely nasty way. As a reaction, I just combined my palm with my face and huffed angrily.
"So what's the joke of the Mistress' absence?" I inhaled and exhaled before returning to the conversation, but I had to figure out this problem before this lunatic left without an explanation.
He totally could.
"You are. The devils of this world are directly related to the energy of their existence, and it was simply impossible to make you primary without merging you with Rias right away. I also have to tell you, I have a little assistant for you. Have you ever heard of the Systems?"
"Ew, no," it came out of me without any input, and I even decided to get to my feet and jump away - this body's reaction to thoughts is just amazing, I didn't even have time to think about how I jumped away.
"Yeah, that's right, "ew", that's exactly my reaction as well. It's not chaotic at all, very ew to be like that. While on the walk, back and forth, here and there, we break the fuck out of them. But diagnostic fragments can be plucked out of the remains, and by the will of the great chaos, shove them wherever, and then put them on. I have one, just in case, I'm not a God, and stuff happens. And shortly before our adventure with Salem, thanks Rei for the tip off, of course, I got one of those. Here's a bracelet for you," he shoved a prickly crystalline bracelet into my hands. "As soon as you put it on, it will cease to be perceived."
During this pause, I obviously was supposed to put on the bracelet, but I just narrowed my eyes and with a silent nod asked him to continue explaining.
"Oh, you distrustful cu... Hm." he managed to stop and get back to his previous thought. "The functionality is simple, there is no intelligence here, even a module for this is not here. It's just that the diagnostics are of very good quality, to forge such a thing on my own - I would go crazy with Order. Which is why it's easier to break and dig out with rigour. Keep in mind that without personal presence near the maximum level of a certain effect, it will show your progress in improving resistance, for example, only within the limits known to you. That is, there is also nothing in any way, and no whats and hows either! I recommend that you circle around as much as possible to find out more edges of it!"
I put on the tchotchke, and it immediately disappeared.
"And what does it diagnose?"
And that's when I saw a small window that simply notified me of the Gremory Pillar status, mentioned the name in the papers, and also indicated the available effects. There really was nothing! Moreover, there was no whats and hows either! Well, okay, I've never been a fan of jerking off on numbers, and I'm not going to start. One of the effects was very strange - not exactly what I already knew. So this was the notorious diagnosticis.
"What does "Acedia" and "Avaritia" mean?" I muttered in puzzlement.
"Learn Latin," Austin chuckled and put his hands on his hips. "Okay, I'll explain as a departure gift. These devils have sins that they develop in themselves as they grow up. Since this is not particularly frowned upon - only maybe uncontrolled anger, for example, and that's just because it is socially dangerous for others."
"But humans also..." I frowned.
"A human is more dependent on society than a devil, physiologically even, not mentally. Devils can be alone for years and not go crazy if they have their sin with them. The same Avaritia, if it concerns knowledge. Or Acedia, if the demon has learned not to eat or drink, but to feed only on demonic energy. And this is just an example."
"And these are the sins of this... Gabrias? Or mine?"
"I'm still surprised that she was named after the real author of the collection of Aesopian Fables, really, I'm even curious where the naming actually came from. Definitely not from that little man Ishibumi, or whatever his name is. Regarding sins, once again, the devils' body and spirit are directly related. Much more and tighter than human ones. Devil just needs to believe it. That's your job in mastering this magic - the one you didn't even think about when you asked for a vacation, and the one that suits you best! Because I'm that great, and it's not the first time I've helped people develop! You get into Harry Potter world when you can beat off Avadas with your hands and not get a scratch, my friend. I may as well saved you!"
"By sending me to the harem anime?"
"By sending you in the harem anime, into the body of the future first wife, without whom this harem simply would not have happened, yes."
And he laughed.
I had to catch up with his line of thought for a couple of seconds, and instead of logically kicking this degenerate in the balls with my heel - that's the only way I could get a strike - I thought for a couple more seconds and also laughed.
"You, my friend, just have to be yourself to entertain the Great Red and create some Chaos again. Goodbye, and see you later. Ta-ta!"
The break in the space that engulfed him while he was theatrically bowing in my direction was uneven, in the shape of some kind of strange star, if you look closely and inflame your imagination a bit.
I breathed in and out slowly, looked at the folder in my hands, and groaned out loud.
I've learned almost nothing about the local canon! What the hell, Austin?
Well, since that's the case, I'll take this opportunity and get into all the magic that's available here. Well, except for some obviously fucked-up crap, of course. I'm not a degenerate.
The roofs of the mansion could be seen behind the quite un-hellish-looking trees surrounding the clearing where Austin and I were talking so passionately. And, apparently, the young mistress - once again - was being searched for. She was being called by her shortened first name, and so often, and that means search, for sure, not very alarmed at that. It's odd that with the beginnings of such sins as - if I understand correctly - Sloth and Greed, she even had such a skill, to evade the servants.
I opened the folder and looked at my virtual window with the local time, which was provided to me by this new toy from the Chaos magician. Well, now I understand why they're looking for me.
The train is supposed to leave in an hour, and I was wearing fairly simple clothes. Everything I know about such noble houses said that they would rather leave me at home than let me crawl out to the train station - or what they have here instead - without a fix up. And they won't care that I'm just eleven or so, and they'll pick something suitable, and if I say something against they'll threaten to take away something that the mistress of this body loved...
Anime comes to mind.
Perhaps the memories need a jolt?
Oh, well, I'll just go towards the voices, make a guilty face, and come what may.