Mo Ran hasn't slept well this night. Not at all, in fact. It started with him fucking Rong Jiu all the way into the next week, which he immediately regretted, because what the fuck is Mo Ran doing, sleeping around with him? When Chu Wanning is around and in his vicinity, and-
Ah. He doesn't have a chance with Chu Wanning; that's why he's sleeping around with him. He's already fucked two more people ever since moving to his city, but in all fairness, that's partly because his neighbour did take him to the gay club at one point. Fucked a guy there. Trans guy, actually, he wonders if Ye Wangxi knows him (look, she's just very involved in the queer activist scene in the city, she knows a lot of people). Nearly said Chu Wanning's name, was too mortified to touch anyone at all for a few days after, and then went back to the club to fuck another random guy once he was ready to fuck around again. Literally. Also nearly moaned Chu Wanning's name as he came.
Alas, he's been battling with he second-hand embarrassment of these two instances, and with the knowledge that he's fucked Rong Jiu. Rong Jiu asked to stay the night, since it was already late, and his other friend (date? Boyfriend? Mo Ran isn't entirely sure what that guy is about, but Rong Jiu talked about him in quite the infatuated way) is long asleep, loaded with university work.
He allowed him too, because whatever; there's a bed in the next room.
Or so he thought.
Rong Jiu decided to take Mo Ran's bed, so Mo ran ended u sleeping on a bed without bedsheets, because he absolutely refuses to sleep in a small university flat bed with Rong Jiu.
It was only half past eight at that point.
Fuck knows why Rong Jiu went to sleep at half past eight. For a bit, Mo Ran thought he was being stupid about it being late and finding a ride back, but no – there's just no night buses over the weekends, for some fucking reason. Mo Ran googled it, because he wanted to get rid of him.
Then, he cooked himself some proper dinner, sat down and ate it, and watched anime on his phone.
Then, Mo Ran realized he still has to do the fucking assignment because he never finished that, and was just about to start it, when his neighbour rang the doorbell (Rong Jiu didn't even wake up for that, and Mo Ran suspected that he might've just died, but he also didn't care enough to go check) asking whether he could possibly help out her brother, since his car broke down, and he really needs it tomorrow. Mo Ran had other plans with his night (jerking off to Chu Wanning's picture online), but she was so nice about it that he couldn't say no. And also, it's on him for telling her that he's a learned car mechanic. So, she took him to her brother's – by foot, since the buses are so stupid – and Mo Ran got the car going. It took quite a while, too. Her brother isn't the nicest guy, but his boyfriend is fine. Mo Ran prefers his neighbours to them, though.
Either way, he did get some money for fixing the car, so now he could even pay for a month of anime site subscription. Not that he's going to, because he'd much rather pirate it and spend the money on booze.
After that, he did get back to the assignment, fell asleep halfway through, and then finished it and sent it in a haze. He's sure he's gotten a lot wrong, given his state, but whatever.
At five in the morning, he woke up from a wet dream about Chu Wanning and had to get off in the bathroom.
At six, he got up, threw Rong Jiu out, and started tidying up and cleaning the entire flat because oh, has he mentioned yet that he got a call from student services telling him that someone needs a flat very direly, and that they'd be moving in tomorrow morning?
Because yeah, that's something that happened.
It's now eight in the morning, and the flat is the cleanest it's ever been, probably, and Mo Ran is the most tired he's ever been. He stretches in the hallway and decides to cook himself breakfast, since he still hasn't had any. He still has to read something for another seminar today, but that's only thirty pages. It can wait. Apart from that, he can just spend the day with his roommate that should be arriving sometime soon, show them the flat, talk to them a little, and figure out the situation.
Mo Ran knows what it's like to be in dire need of a flat, so even if it meant having a bad night and being unable to bring people over the way he wants to, he wasn't going to say no. Someone needs a home, and, if Mo ran has any say in it, they'll get a home.
Maybe he should make double the amount of pancakes, in case the other person wants some. Then again, he doesn't know their allergies, so he'd better hold off on that for now.
He can offer to cook them something for lunch, after all.
Student services never even said their name, nor their gender. Mo Ran just hopes that, if it's a girl, she doesn't get scared of him. He knows he can come off as quite rough, but really, he's okay to live with.
He thinks.
Xue Meng might disagree.
So, he just stands in the hallway for a bit longer, very unsure of what to do. He's never been particularly good at waiting. What he does, in the end, is scratch his butt.
It's then that the doorbell rings.
Mo Ran immediately perks up, slaps his cheeks twice because he suspects there's not a lot of colour in them, and then walks towards the door.
He takes just one more breath and then pulls it open.
In front of him, just outside of his doorstep, is a man.
He wears his long, dark hair in a tight ponytail, not a single hair dangling out of it. Pale skin, maybe even a tiny bit too pale. Thin lips pressed together, angled nose, sharp jaw. He's wearing dark grey slacks and a light grey button-up, cuffed. Its collar sits high and tight and accentuates an absolutely flawless throat. A pair of ugly glasses hangs down the collar, tucked into it. His shoes are leather shoes, polished. He has several bags on him, and a suitcase. And a carrier, with what Mo Ran assumes to be either a white cat, or a white dog, given the short white fur he can see behind the grid.
He looks back up at the man's face, bright, greyish-hazel phoenix eyes staring right back at him.
The man takes the door handle into his hand, and then shuts it right back in Mo Ran's face.
It makes a loud sound given the force behind it.
Every single ounce of sanity Mo Ran might still have left inside of him fizzles into nothingness.
That was Chu Wanning.
That was definitely Chu Wanning right now, looking him up and down, with enough bags to let Mo ran believe that Chu Wanning is about to move in with him.
His throat goes absolutely and utterly dry, and he grabs the door handle to pull it the fuck back open.
He's still there, looking right ahead at him, some colour on his cheeks now in what Mo Ran supposes could be anger? Embarrassment?
This time, he holds the door in his hand. He's not going to let Chu Wanning shut it back in his face. Not without an explanation.
(Not without making sure Chu Wanning has a home.)
(…and his pet, he supposes.)
"…Professor," he stammers, very awkwardly.
Chu Wanning looks at him as if he might just kill him any damned second, and it's simultaneously the most bone-chilling, and the hottest thing he's ever seen.
"Mo Ran," Chu Wanning says, and it sounds more composed than Mo Ran's attempt at striking up a conversation, yet still stunned.
Okay. One of them has to address this. Chu Wanning is still here, and he hasn't yet run away.
"You…" Mo Ran starts again, swallowing once to get the scratchy feeling out of his throat, "you… are my new roommate?"
At that, Chu Wanning's face properly changes colour, but he doesn't deny it, and Mo Ran thinks that oh. Chu Wanning is very much not angry. He's embarrassed.
"That's okay!" he yaps, but then clears his throat once more when it comes out more as a panicked squeak than anything else. "That's okay."
"It's not okay," Chu Wanning retorts, as if that should be completely obvious. "You're my student. I can't live with a student. I'll find someplace else."
He's right about to turn around when Mo Ran shouts an equally panicked 'stop!'
It's not even because he's hopelessly in love with Chu Wanning, because he wants to ask him why he left, why he never came back, no, it's just because-
"Do you have anywhere else to go?"
"Obviously not! Do you think I would be so desperate to call student services for a flat if I did?" comes the snapped answer, but, at the same time, all Mo Ran can think is that it sounds incredibly tired.
"…Please," he says. "At least come in while you figure out where to go."
"No," Chu Wanning pushes out from behind clenched teeth. "You're my student, and that'd be highly improper."
"We're not going to-"
-fuck..
Mo Ran stops himself just in time before he can actually voice that.
"Please? I'm not… just come in for a while and let's see what we can do? Professor, you can't just leave now."
Not when you're finally coming back for me, even if you don't remember, even when it's been fifteen years, even when it's not by choice.
"You have a pet on you," Mo Ran says, feeling completely and utterly helpless because Chu Wanning is still looking like he's going to turn around and leave, like he's going to abandon him all over again, and Mo Ran couldn't possibly take that.
Not another time.
So, he's going to weaponize bundle of white fur behind the carrier's grey grid.
"At least let it drink something and get out of the carrier for a while. It doesn't seem to be enjoying it."
"She's leash-trained," Chu Wanning snaps back, "I can take her out whenever."
A dog then, alright.
Mo Ran exhales. That didn't work. He has to make him stay. It's all he can think, but he's all out of ideas on how to make him, because Chu Wanning looks so proud, and so convinced that even just talking to Mo Ran inside of his own home would be too improper for him to do. Everything he feels he can do is reach out and physically hold onto him, grab him by his button-up and tear him inside, because he knows he's already been homeless once and he shouldn't be again, and-
Just as he's about to do just that, the door next to them opens, and his neighbour steps out. She stretches in the sunlight once, dressed in a long, white skirt and a mint-blue blouse. Then, she turns around to Mo Ran.
"Oh, is that your friend from yesterday night?" she asks, and wriggles her eyebrows, and whatever panic Mo Ran has felt before increases ten-fold.
Oh no. His neighbour can't just imply that he's fucked the love of his life, who also happens to be his main professor, who also happens to be homeless right now and maybe about to move in with him.
She can't just do that.
Chu Wanning's glare is now absolutely freezing, first meeting his neighbour, and then Mo Ran himself. Geez, he could actually turn someone into ice with that stare, given just how full of judgment it is.
"Your friend," Chu Wanning repeats, the word sounding foreign coming from him, drawn out and cold. "There was no need to kick him out for me."
"It's not-" Mo Ran starts, unsure of how to convey to his professor in moderate terms that Rong Jiu is just a quick fuck, nothing more, nothing less, and he'd already stayed for much longer than he was meant to. "It's not like that. No, he uh, we uhm… not like that. He's not my boyfriend. Throwing him out was not against his wishes."
Clearly, the cogs start turning in Chu Wanning's head at that, because his face grows even sterner.
"Shameless," he comments, and Mo Ran can't even argue against it. "I'm going inside."
Huh?
Mo Ran barely even gets a chance to move out of the door before Chu Wanning is pressing past him, through the frame, with all of his begs and the dog in the carrier.
His neighbour looks at him with something like an apology written all over her face.
"Oh my God. That's not the guy you railed yesterday night, is it?"
"…No," Mo Ran says, unable to blame her for her phrasing because that's a pretty accurate description of what he was doing yesterday evening. "That's-"
He makes sure to lower his voice, just in case he absolutely loses his mind, not wanting Chu Wanning to hear.
"That's my professor, actually, who's apparently about to move in with me."
His neighbour's eyes go big, and she gives a nervous little laugh.
"Oh. Oh my God, I'm so sorry for implying you've fucked your professor."
Oh, Mo Ran thinks, she has not a single clue just how much he would love to fuck his professor. In his house, in his office, the classroom as long as no one else is there, wherever. But his poor, innocent neighbour is unaware of just how long he's been in love with Chu Wanning.
"It's- not your fault," he says, and just puts his hand to his forehead to massage it for a little while. "You didn't know."
Weirdly enough, she just cocks an eyebrow at him.
"Or do you want to-"
"Oh my God," Mo Ran hisses at her, but he can't even deny it, so all that happens is that she grins at him very largely.
"I see. Hmm. I'll leave you to it, have fun! Sorry for revealing to your professor that you… had someone over last night."
"That's fine," Mo Ran says, even when it's arguably not, "just- don't tell anyone."
"Obviously not," she laughs, then stretches once more, "alright, I've gotta go for a walk, I feel all tired but I have work to do."
He gets that. They say their goodbyes, and then Mo Ran looks into his own flat. Chu Wanning has moved inside, placing his suitcases and bags and dog in the open door of the unoccupied room. Mo Ran thinks that he probably didn't hear the rest of his conversation with the neighbour, given they were talking very quietly.
"So… we should sit down somewhere, maybe…?" he starts, but Chu Wanning just lowers his gaze in something like defeat.
"If I could just stay until I've found somewhere else?"
It sounds exasperated and tired and like he doesn't at all want to stay, but he'll take it.
"Of course!" bursts out of Mo Ran. He notices how eager he sounded, so he clears his throat once. "Of course. Whatever happened- you obviously can't be homeless, so there's that. I'm not going to throw you out just because you're my professor."
"The only other free flat I could reasonably live in also has a student from the department," Chu Wanning says, "I just asked. So it's here or there, so it's not like it matters."
Okay. Mo Ran's heart won't calm down anymore today. Chu Wanning is staying for now.
"You can… stay here. I know you're my professor and stuff but- whatever. It's not like I'm going to tell people. I mean-"
Mo Ran doesn't know what he's saying, so he just shuts his mouth instead. This entire situation just feels blatantly surreal. Chu Wanning is moving in with him. He'll be in his vicinity again. And yes, yes, he's still angry with him, an all these unasked questions are still lingering on his tongue, but first and foremost, Mo Ran is just so happy to have him to himself.
Obviously he doesn't, not in that way, but to have even just a little bit more of him than other people, that's everything that counts for now.
"I can't make you not tell people," Chu Wanning says. "if I get fired, it's for a good reason."
"No! I won't tell anyone, Prof, I swear! You can just stay. It's alright. The room's free, I'm not using it, and I'd rather you aren't homeless when you don't have to be. Can I ask what happened-"
"No, you can't," Chu Wanning snaps immediately. Then, however, his gaze flits down to the carrier.
Ah.
He must've had his dog against the contract. Pets must've not be allowed.
"Let her out," Mo Ran says, "maybe in a specific room for now? The kitchen, maybe? It's pretty small. So she doesn't get overwhelmed."
Clearly having been caught about just why he got kicked out, the tips of Chu Wanning's ears turn red again. Mo Ran wants to kiss and bite them and trace them with his fingertips, ask him to please get his ears pierced because that'd look so good-
Okay.
Maybe living together with Chu Wanning is going to bring a lot of issues with it that Mo Ran has forgotten about for a second. Namely that he's a horny monster who wants to fuck anything and everything in his vicinity, and especially his former caretaker who now just so happens to be his Mechanical Engineering professor.
He could cry of both joy and the effort of suppressing a boner.
"Yes. Where's the kitchen?"
"There," Mo Ran says, pointing at the short hallway leading to his room and the kitchen. "At the end. To the right is my room, then the kitchen. You're standing in between your room and the bathroom."
Chu Wanning gives a quick nod, then picks up the carrier and goes towards the kitchen, although Mo Ran overtakes him so he can at least hold the door open for him.
"Can I get you something? I only have black tea, which I know you don't like too much, but…"
"It's fine. You don't need to serve me anything."
When he says things like that, Mo Ran does wonder whether he secretly hates him. The Chu Wanning he knows never would've declined the offer of tea. He might've gotten a bit embarrassed about it, but he'd always politely accept – is he such a bad student that Chu Wanning already hates him after such a short time?
Surely that's not possible. Maybe it is. Mo Ran knows he's pretty awful of a person.
And then he realizes what this is.
No. This isn't Chu Wanning declining because he hates him, or because he doesn't want one, but because…
Mo Ran has no clue. He can't quite pin it down, but it seems… almost petty? Like Chu Wanning is biting something back?
"It's no effort," he starts again, "I want a tea, so I have to make one anyways…"
"If you so direly want to make me a tea, then suit yourself."
Wow. Okay. Prissy little cat, huh? Yet, it's not a no. On the inside, Mo Ran smiles to himself a little bit.
He's changed. He can see that now. He hasn't changed, but at the same time he's changed. That's okay. People change. It still hurts. He wasn't there for it. He was completely separate for him, because Chu Wanning never came back, never spoke to him again-
He swallows.
"Yeah. I'll make tea. With milk and honey?"
For a bit, Chu Wanning glances at him with something akin to surprise, and Mo Ran immediately realizes his mistake. He knows exactly that Chu Wanning drinks his tea in two ways – either sickeningly sweet, or pure, depending on his mood. He's memorized the way he drinks his tea, what sweets he likes the most, and what foods he's partial to a long time ago, and it's never really left his mind, his routine. He stammers around a little and then finally comes up with an explanation.
"You mentioned that you prefer green tea when we talked in the cafeteria, so I assumed black tea might be a bit too strong for your tastes… I mean, I was gonna have it that way anyway, so I thought I'd offer-"
"…Yes," Chu Wanning just says, and Mo Ran is very proud of him for having dodged a bullet here.
Is he trying to hide who he is? No. Yes. Maybe. He doesn't know. Over the past few weeks, seeing Chu Wanning a few times a week, he's thought about telling him a lot. He wants to tell him, wants him to know who he is, wants to catch up with him and let him know that the only reason he never decided to end it all was him, because he was holding on to the pure thought of perhaps meeting him again, just once more-
But the fear wins. That stupid fear that Chu Wanning won't remember him, or will remember him as a nuisance, as someone he never wanted to see again, and god.
Mo Ran can't stand even just the thought of that being the case.
So, he checks whether his electric kettle (a present on his adoptive mother's behalf) still has enough water – it does – and turns it on. He grabs the milk from the fridge and the honey and tea from the cupboard. He only has bagged tea, since that's much easier to handle, so that's over quite fast.
In the awkward silence in Mo Ran's kitchen, Chu Wanning eventually opens the carrier's door, and out comes…
Well.
So that's not a dog.
He said leash-trained, okay? Why would Mo ran expect someone to leash-train a cat?
She's very cute though. She immediately jumps out of the carrier and stretches a few times, digging her nails into the hardwood-floor, and then jumping up into Chu Wanning's lap once he's sat down in a chair. She does still appear a little scared, but seems to be comfortable enough in Chu Wanning's lap. She gives a big yawn, her white fur shining just a little golden in the light of the sun falling in through the window.
Mo Ran would also gladly get kicked out of a flat for this cat.
"What's her name?" he asks, the question having left him before he even realizes him.
"Plum," comes the immediate, much more open answer from Chu Wanning.
"That's a pretty name for a pretty girl," he says, "does she let strangers pet her?"
"…Usually?"
Why does that sound more like a question?
Smile on his face, Mo Ran steps towards Chu Wanning, and towards Plum, and reaches out his hand towards her. She's just standing in his lap so far, so she leans up to sniff him for a few seconds, and lets Mo ran stroke her from head to tail a few times before she eventually draws back.
Well, that was a yes to the 'usually' question Chu Wanning posed.
She definitely lets herself be pet by Mo Ran.
"She's very cute," he says. "This flat doesn't allow pets either, but I won't tell. I asked my neighbours at one point whether anyone ever comes to check on the flat, and apparently that only happens once a year, and announced, so we don't have to worry about anything."
"…Why did you ask that?"
To hide his illegal substances and sex toys, Mo Ran thinks, but doesn't say out loud.
"Ah, I was just interested."
"Is it to make sure your friend is gone by the time they arrive?"
Oh.
Even the cat in his lap doesn't make Chu Wanning look much softer right now; in fact, it just makes him look like an angry cat with a soft cat seated on him, plopping down into loaf shape on his legs right now, and eyeing Mo Ran with big eyes, still, as if a bit wary of him even though she's already smelled him.
"…No," Mo Ran says, coughing a little awkwardly, "just forget what the neighbour has said."
Luckily, the tea is ready right then and there, so he won't have to keep on explaining who Rong Jiu is (a sex worker, who also does porn and has an OnlyFans, for the record, which he actually makes a very decent amount of money with), and what his relationship to Mo Ran is (Mo ran is one of his longterm clients), and why he spent the night to begin with (stupid buses).
He pours the tea and sets a time on his phone, adding milk and honey to both of their cups. A lot more for Chu Wanning, since Mo Ran did eventually grow out of liking sweet things a little, but Chu Wanning was already seventeen by the time they met, and still very much into sweet things, so he's going to go ahead and assume it's the same.
Chu Wanning doesn't ask again about why he wants to know when people come to check on his flat, or whether they do at all.
He waits a minute and a half and then takes out the teabags, since the tea he has is quite strong. He puts the cups onto the table and then sits down, too.
Plum is still looking at him.
"…Why did you get a cat if they weren't allowed?" the question eventually slips, unable to not ask. Surely Chu Wanning has a reason, right? He wouldn't just risk being homeless again after all these years just because he wanted a cat – he would've tried finding another flat otherwise, Mo Ran is sure.
However, he clearly didn't want to be asked, since he bristles. In the end, he gives in, anyways.
"I found her half-dead on the streets."
Of course.
Because of course that would be the reason why Chu Wanning adopts a cat.
"That's a good reason to get kicked out, then," he says, and means it. Mo Ran would have done the same.
Maybe the fact that they both would've done the same is enough to assure him that they're still similar in a way only they will understand.
"Whatever," Chu Wanning comments. He takes a sip of tea, and, for the shortest moment, Mo Ran sees him light up. Still got the mixture right after all these years, huh? It's quickly hidden by his usual cold demeanor, until Mo Ran wonders whether he was just making it up.
"…Seriously," Mo Ran starts again, "you can stay here. You- probably know from my uncle that I'm adopted. I was homeless for a while, as a child. I don't recommend it."
And so were you, even if you don't know that I know. I felt how skinny your ribs were below your thick sweaters. I saw the way you looked at those wonton the first time we cooked together.
Chu Wanning doesn't respond immediately, it takes a while, a few strokes of Plum's head, her ears flattening a little under his hand and then popping right back up. She nuzzles into it. How he wished he could be Plum, even if just for a single second.
"Yeah," he sighs eventually. "Your uncle did tell you. I'll have to stay somewhere until I find something."
"Look… if you're uncomfortable at the thought of living with me, how about explaining the situation to my uncle? I'm sure he wouldn't mind housing you for a while, either. I know this might look bad on you if someone learns of it, given I'm your student-"
"No," Chu Wanning says very decisively, "I'm not asking Xue Zhengyong to house me. I don't need someone like him to live with-"
"Ah," Mo Ran laughs, "scared he'd take you in as a foster child? Don't get me wrong, him and auntie have treated me very well all these years, but he can get overwhelming. No need to explain yourself. It's alright. I don't like, care about the fact you're my professor or something."
"You should care. I care."
"I know," Mo Ran says, and gods - Chu Wanning really is a little complicated, isn't he? "We just won't leave the house together, and then everything is fine. No one in the department knows where I live, I haven't really made close friends with anyone there yet. My friends are my neighbour, who you've seen earlier, and my two best friends who are older than me by a little. They don't know you."
That's a lie. Ye Wangxi and Nangong Si know Chu Wanning a lot better than Mo Ran would like them to – he's ought to stop drinking and doing drugs around them.
"If there's any group projects, I'd do them at the library, anyways."
Mo Ran doesn't like people intruding on his space, he finds; it's part of the reason he was very annoyed by Rong Jiu staying over. Now that he finally has his first own flat, he just wants to relish in that fact, feel the four-year-old boy inside of him slowly grow a little softer.
Chu Wanning is the one exception.
Even if living with him will result in a lot of Mo Ran trying not to cry, trying not to lose his sanity, and trying not to pop boners every other second, probably.
No one is allowed to look so godforsakenly gorgeous with these ugly glasses hanging off their collar, he thinks. No one should look that good in such a strict ponytail, lifting his teacup in the very same way he used to as a teenager.
"You don't have to go out of your way. I can stay in my office if needed."
"No need, though," Mo Ran says, because ugh – will this guy get it through his thick fucking skull that he doesn't mind? "Just let me know when you leave, and I'll leave earlier or later. My neighbour's not going to snitch, she's too occupied with university and her job to do such a thing. And her boyfriend couldn't give less of a damn. And I've never even talked to the people a house over."
Hence, they're also not Mechanical Engineering students. Chu Wanning seems to get that, exhaling quietly and setting his cup back down.
Plum gets up from his lap and jumps down onto the floor, now starting to sniff around the room a little bit.
"I won't snitch on you, nor on Plum," he adds. "Anything else you want me to know?"
"…I won't help you with your homework. I cannot treat you differently from other students."
"Figures," Mo Ran sighs, "sorry again for the late assignment."
Talking about university assignments when Chu Wanning is sitting in his kitchen and drinking from a cup he's drunk from before feels absolutely and utterly surreal. They should be talking about how deep Mo Ran's cock could reach into him instead-
Ahem.
He's totally normal about this man.
"It's no issue. You had a good reason. Is your neighbour's brother as obnoxious as her?"
Ah, going for the insults, huh?
"Worse," Mo Ran snickers, "you'll get used to her, she does no harm. Just talks a lot, but she's quite fun. Don't ever speak about books to her, she'll try to make you read some awful romance crap."
"…I see."
"Anything else?"
"…I usually leave at half past eight," Chu Wanning says, "you'll only have to be there at quarter past nine, so you leave later."
"Got it," Mo Ran answers. That works. He usually doesn't leave earlier than nine, anyways.
"I don't have keys, and I won't get any since I'm not officially allowed to live here. I usually stay in the office until late."
"Okay. I have an evening class on Thursdays, so I might be out later than you. I'll give you the keys if you're coming back after I leave."
Mo Ran finds it incredibly hot that he'll have even an ounce control over whether or not Chu Wanning can leave and come back into the house. Something is so severely wrong with him. He's fucked in the head beyond belief.
"Knock before you come into my room. Don't disturb me for arbitrary stuff."
"Alright."
He assumed as much.
Something bumps into his leg, and Mo Ran looks down to see Plum stare up at him, retracting her head from his leg. Her eyes are all huge and cute, and he's laughing and leaning down to pet her before he can change it.
"Oh, you're so sweet," he mumbles, nothing like your owner. Or perhaps just as much as him.
"…There's one more thing."
Mo Ran looks right back up at Chu Wanning, who's suddenly biting his lip a little. There's a distinct amount of colour to his face suddenly, and it appears to Mo Ran that he doesn't want to actually say it at all.
Part of Mo Ran's stupidly delusional brain is trying to convince him that Chu Wanning is going to ask whether he knows him, whether they've met before, whether his given name is a coincidence, whether they've before been in a kitchen together like this, sitting opposite of each other.
The moment feels horribly long; Mo Ran's entire throat has gone dry with hope and he clears his throat the moment Chu Wanning speaks up, hoping that please, please, if only he remembered him-
"I don't want to tell you this, but I'm just going to give you the benefit of the doubt," he starts, his voice trailing off for a bit. "But it's- probably important I tell you."
"It's fine! I don't judge or anything!" Mo Ran interrupts him, just to earn another little glare from eyes that he wants to stare into all fucking day.
God, he's in love with this man. Mo Ran is so, so in love with him that it hurts.
"I'm autistic."
Ah.
"I know."
"…Excuse me?"
Oh.
That was bad.
Mo Ran blinks and makes sure to make a mental note to slap his own face later – if he doesn't want to tell Chu Wanning just who he is, then he needs to get ahold of himself and not just say these things.
"Uhm, I just-" he starts, "I could tell. I don't- no offense or anything. I don't care. In the most positive sense, it's just- I could tell. Like- uhm-"
"Is it that bad?"
"It's not bad!" Mo Ran clarifies, slapping his hands onto the table a little too hard and a little too eagerly, so that the teacups shake a little bit. He's even stood up a little bit, so he sits down. "Not bad, not in that sense. It's just- Some of Ye Wangxi's- ah, my best friend, that is. Some of her friends are autistic. The other neighbour, too. And I- someone I was close to as a kid was also autistic, so I just knew. Don't worry about it, I really don't care."
He can see how hard Chu Wanning is thinking, and Mo Ran really isn't sure he saved himself much here. This was awful. That was a god-awful explanation, gods, what the hell?
He's got to add something.
"I don't care, really. I could just tell because I've been around autistic people a lot. No issues there. I don't think any less of you if that's what you're scared of. You're fine. Just let me know what I can do to like, not upset you and stuff. Don't hold back on it."
Finally, Chu Wanning appears to relax. His shoulders slack a little. He doesn't meet his gaze, but Mo Ran will take the small amount of relaxation as a win, he thinks.
There's just no way in hell he can tell Chu Wanning that it was he himself who told him that he's autistic, who explained to him what it means in the same clear-cut way that he explained how to make wonton.
"I'm probably not like whatever friend you had as a child."
You're a lot like him, actually, Mo Ran thinks, but bites it back. The exact same, actually.
"It's fine. You just tell me what I can do to make you feel comfortable here. I'm like, not autistic, but I also have stuff I don't want you to do. Also knock on my door at all costs."
Mo Ran doesn't need his professor catching him jerking off to a picture of him.
"Don't light any incense either. I can't stand the smell of it."
"Okay," Chu Wanning says, his face softening a little, as if reassured by the fact that Mo Ran also has boundaries.
"Ah. And uh… I'm not particularly good with spiders. If you see one when I'm not here, and could take care of it, that'd be much appreciated."
Alright. He wants to make Chu Wanning feel at ease and everything, but this is actually kind of embarrassing to admit. Mo Ran knows he looks like a semi-buff, tall guy with a big dick in his pants, all male and masculine and stuff, so the fact that he's bad with spiders is actually only known to Ye Wangxi. She's sworn to secrecy even for Nangong Si.
Of course his family knows, though – he constantly gets the worst of it from Xue Meng about it. As if Xue Meng himself isn't a coward about anything that has more than four legs.
"Spiders?" Chu Wanning asks, and Mo Ran thinks he can detect a tiny, tiny hint of amusement in his phoenix eyes. "Alright. I can take them outside, I don't mind. If I haven't seen it, let me know. I can take care of them."
"Thanks," Mo Ran says, an awkward little chuckle leaving his mouth, his cheeks feeling all uncomfortable and hot. "Just… a lot of spiders as a kid. In my clothes and stuff. Not too fond of the memories of finding them everywhere."
He doesn't know why he's telling Chu Wanning this. Whatever. Probably an attempt at making Chu Wanning realize who he is without actually telling him because he doesn't have the guts to do so. Mo Ran hates himself sometimes.
"Hm. I don't have any allergies."
Mo Ran knows as much.
"I don't need you to do much. Keep your things away from mine, I don't like my things touching other people's. Including towels and all that."
"That's fine. I'll move my bathroom stuff in a second. I didn't think to do that yet."
"I need the bathroom free at seven in the morning, and seven at night. I can't… budge on that."
"Okay! I'll keep it in mind. Sincerely, that's no issue at all."
Strict routine. He gets it. Well, okay, he so doesn't get it, but it doesn't bother him.
"Don't eat any of my stuff. And… don't bring that friend of yours over, if possible."
That part is said with the reddest cheeks known to man. Mo Ran has to hold back so hard to tease him about this – oh, everything he could say, ranging from rather tame 'are you jealous? Wanna become my friend instead?' to a bad porn scenario of 'oh my god, professor, don't tell me you're a virgin?! I'll show you'.
Mo Ran decidedly does not voice these thoughts.
"…Figures," he chokes out instead, his mind going places – namely, it's going to the bad porn scenario. Chu Wanning, quietly admitting he's never done this before, because Mo Ran might have a raging virginity kink. Quietly letting Mo Ran lead his hand over his dick, until he gives him free reign to try out what he's learned. Leaning in towards his ears and asking whether he wants it on the kitchen table or the floor or the bed, or in front of the window like a little slut, or-
Alright.
No.
Absolutely not.
Mo Ran cannot say any of these things to Chu Wanning, because not only is he the man he's hopelessly in love with, but also his university professor that he has in three separate classes this semester alone.
Alas, he cannot possibly risk saying these things if he doesn't want to get kicked out of university in his first semester.
"…That's all."
"Okay," Mo Ran responds, glad for the distraction from his thoughts that have by now shifted to vivid images of Chu Wanning, undressed, on the very table they're drinking tea by right now, cups fallen to the floor, high-pitched moans- "If anything more comes up, just let me know. Do you need any help unpacking?"
"No. I don't like my things touched."
Right, that makes sense. Mo Ran drinks some more of his own tea, then tries to give Chu Wanning a smile.
"Okay. I'll go take care of the bathroom, then?"
"Hm."
…Alright, conversation over. Mo Ran got the clue. He sips some more tea, then puts it back down and gets up, looking at Chu Wanning once more. By now, he's looking at his tea, not at Mo Ran. Holding it steadily in his hands. He looks so out of place in Mo Ran's flat. He's definitely still the same height he was back then, just that he looks so small now that Mo Ran has grown.
"Ah, Professor?"
'Wanning' nearly slipped his lips at the familiar scenery. His heart aches.
"Yes."
"If you get hungry, there's leftovers in the fridge. I didn't have a lot of time over the past few days, so it's just some sscallion pancakes, but… frankly, I've been eating them for two days, and I have enough of them, so they're all yours. Take it as a welcome gift, okay?"
He knows that Chu Wanning likes them. It's one of the first dishes Mo Ran learned how to make when he got into cooking - Chu Wanning was still there for that. Maybe it'll reawaken some memories.
Maybe it's another desperate attempt of finding out whether Chu Wanning remembers him.
"You don't need to play maid for me."
"Right, right," Mo Ran laughs, "I genuinely don't want them anymore, though. If you don't eat them; I'll have to throw them away, and that'd be a waste, so just eat them, alright?"
His only answer is a grumble, so Mo Ran steps out of the room eventually, and takes a very, very deep breath.
Chu Wanning is moving in with him.
He actually can't believe it. Chu Wanning is sitting his house. His bags are standing in the door still, and his cat is currently sniffing out the corner between the fridge and the wall, tail high up in the air as if she finds this place quite alright.
He's back with him.
Whatever anger he still feels at the fact that Chu Wanning doesn't seem to know who he is, he shoves it back down for just a second.
Chu Wanning is back with him. He's living with him again, right here, right now. He's in his flat.
It takes everything for Mo Ran not to start crying, but luckily he receives distraction in the form of a small, brown spot on the wall.
He squints a little, already grabbing the flyswatter from the small sideboard placed in the hallway, and approaches his fiend.
He recognizes what it is on first glance – a little smaller than an inch, brown wings, triangular shape, the middle of its body a lighter brown, He swats it before it can get anywhere.
Mo Ran's adoptive mom and him (as they handle the kitchen together at home, although Mo Ran has been taking it over more and more in recent years) have had a food moth infestation before, probably having carried them in with some potatoes from the store. He doesn't need one here. He knows for a fact everything is clean, because he has a few moth traps everywhere here. He's too traumatized from when that happened and they had to throw out all the good food, and Mo Ran is quite sensitive to throwing away food – so this one must've flown in through the open window or whatever.
Or…
He looks at Chu Wanning's bags, and then at the dead food moth on the swatter, and cocks an eyebrow.
Could it be that he didn't just get kicked out for the cat?
Whatever other reasons there might be, and whether it's related to the food moths, Mo Ran has to tidy up the bathroom still and move some of his stuff to make sure Chu Wanning feels at ease here, or at least as much as he reasonably can, given the fact he's going to be living with his student.
Mo Ran is just going to pray that this stays the only food moth he will see for the rest of his life.
(In the kitchen, Chu Wanning marvels at the fact that there isn't a single brown moth on the wall, and that he can have a spice cabinet without fearing that its infested with maggots. And, to him, that alone is enough to make him feel just a little at home.)