Before long, the outline of an ancient city emerged from the dusty horizon. Towering walls stretched upward, mottled with age yet imposing—like a sleeping giant watching over the empire.
As Lin Hao's carriage passed under the monumental gates, he lazily tilted his head upward. Hanging overhead was a grand plaque, its strokes bold and graceful: Qinzhou City.
First things first: find a map. This body's original owner didn't even know where he lived. Absolute waste of oxygen.
Inside, the city was bustling. Merchants hawked their wares with booming voices, carts creaked by under overloaded cargo, and children darted through alleys with laughter and mischief. It had none of Earth's modern polish, but it overflowed with life.
More surprising was the carriage—smooth as silk, not a single bump. Lin Hao glanced down and noticed faint blue lines glowing beneath his feet.
Formation scripts? On a carriage? Damn. Even their wheels come with premium subscriptions.
Eventually, they halted before a sprawling estate. Towering stone beasts flanked the entrance—half lion, half tiger, all menace.
Ji Chuyan stepped out first, her snow-white robe gliding behind her like mist. She didn't spare him a glance.
Lin Hao followed, staring at the entrance where a wooden placard was engraved with two characters: Ji Residence.
Wait... he married into her family? He's the in-law they keep in the broom closet? No wonder even stray dogs give him pity looks.
He took a step toward the gate—only to be blocked by Snow.
Arms crossed, lips curled in contempt, she looked him over like he was gutter trash tracked in by mistake.
"You? Side entrance," she said.
He blinked. "Excuse me?"
"Only Ji clan members enter through the main gate. You? You're a freeloader with a ring. Know your place. Don't sully the threshold."
Lin Hao raised a hand dramatically to his chest. "Snow, was it? Tell me honestly—did you rehearse that in the mirror or does the venom come naturally?"
She sneered. "Keep talking. I'll knock the teeth out that still have value."
"Oh, scary. I'll be sure to cry into my silk pillow after dinner."
She grabbed his collar. Lin Hao yelped and collapsed before she could even swing.
Snow blinked. "I didn't even touch him."
Ji Chuyan turned. "That's enough."
Her voice was cool and even. Not anger, not warmth—just distant ice.
"Regardless of his status, he carries the Ji name now. You will not treat him like a stray animal."
Snow's lips tightened. "Yes, Miss."
Ji Chuyan glanced at Lin Hao's sprawled form. "Get up."
He leapt up with the energy of a man who had just won an Oscar. "You do care about me after all!"
Ji Chuyan turned away without replying. "Father and Mother are waiting. Keep your antics outside the hall."
As she walked, Snow leaned in. "You've got a lot of guts acting this smug after last night. Don't worry—Master and Madam will strip the arrogance right off you."
Lin Hao's grin wavered. Right… the original body owner accidentally ended up in his sister-in-law's bed.
How does this backstory keep getting worse? What's next—he owes money to the Demon King's daughter?
Groaning, he clutched his head and collapsed again. This time, neither woman flinched. They stepped neatly around his body.
Okay. Got it. Audience here's immune to dramatic flair.
Ji Chuyan gave a light sigh. "He was struck by lightning today. Maybe it dislodged his sense of shame."
"To the guest room," she added. "And bathe him. He smells like fried regret."
"Wife," Lin Hao called cheerfully. "How strong is your kung fu? Are you like… top 10 globally?"
She stopped. "What did you just call me?"
"Dear? Honey? Future baby mama?"
Her eyes sharpened. "Address me as Miss Ji. Or Chuyan. Nothing more."
"Got it, Miss Sweetheart." He grinned. "So? Are you a big deal in the cultivation world or just a local celebrity?"
She looked over her shoulder, gaze as calm as still water. "True experts never flaunt ranks. And the world is vast. There's always someone stronger."
"Oh, so… you're not that strong." He nodded with exaggerated seriousness.
She didn't reply. Her silence was colder than rejection.
"But hey," he said. "We're husband and wife now. Teach me some cool stuff! Got any ancient scrolls that turn losers into legends in ten days?"
"There's no such shortcut," she said flatly. "And even if there were, you couldn't use it."
"Why not?"
She stopped walking. Her voice was like frost.
"Your body is flawed. A Martial Arts-Disabled Physique. Your meridians were damaged before birth—shattered beyond repair. You cannot cultivate. Not now. Not ever."
Lin Hao stood frozen.
"No amount of pills, training, or determination will change that. You're not fit for the path."
He paused—then slowly nodded.
"Perfect," he muttered. "Cursed background, trash-tier potential, mocked by society... now I just need a golden finger and a tragic backstory, and I'm officially the MC."
Later that night, a servant showed him to a guest room. After a hot bath and a fresh change of clothes, Lin Hao stood before a mirror.
Leaner than he remembered, but still handsome.
Not quite a heartthrob, but give it time. At least I'm not built like a goblin.
He hoped to dine with his beautiful "wife," but a servant delivered food instead.
"What am I, a caged animal?" he muttered—before digging in like a starving beast.
Complaints can wait. This roast duck slaps.
Afterward, he picked up a brush and scribbled on parchment:
How to Survive as a Joke Husband in a Cultivation World
But his focus wandered to smartphones, online games, and group chats. A minute later, he crumpled the paper and tossed it.
Screw it. Let's go eavesdrop. That always works in novels.
Outside Ji Chuyan's residence, voices floated through the window.
"Miss, want some melon seeds?" Snow asked.
"No," came the calm reply. "Crack your teeth if you eat too many."
"You're scaring me again," Snow said. "That guy… he's acting weird. He used to grovel like a worm. Now he's… unpredictable."
"Perhaps the lightning did something to him."
So she noticed, too, Lin Hao thought.
"Why haven't you confronted him about last night?" Snow asked.
"I'll speak with my parents first," Chuyan replied coolly.
Smart girl. No drama till backup arrives.
Then Snow's voice turned venomous. "Honestly, why didn't the lightning just kill him?"
"Don't say such things again," Ji Chuyan said sharply.
That was it.
Lin Hao kicked open the door.
Both women turned toward him.
"I'm going to bed," he announced.
"With me?" Ji Chuyan asked, arching a brow.
"Obviously. We're married."
A second later, a high-pitched scream rang out—and Lin Hao was flying backward through the door.
From inside, Snow yelled, "Go kiss a mirror! You think you're worthy of the young miss?"
But Lin Hao just smiled.
So they haven't done the deed. Good. I can work with that.
Snow caught the expression. "What's that disgusting smile for? Need me to knock your teeth out?"
Lin Hao puffed his chest and yelled, "A man denied his wedding night! Tomorrow, I'll hire drummers and shout my sorrow through the streets!"
"You wouldn't dare," Ji Chuyan said, aura flaring slightly.
"Why not? My rep's already at rock bottom."
She stared at him coldly. "You want to sleep with me that badly?"
He grinned. "Is the sky blue?"
"Then Snow will do."
The melon seeds tumbled from Snow's hands.
"Miss! You can't be serious!"
"You let him touch you earlier," Ji Chuyan replied without looking up from her book. "You've already crossed that line."
Snow looked ready to pass out. "I… I..."
Lin Hao blinked. Is this… reverse harem warfare?
Still, he smirked. "Well then, Snow, let's not waste time. Want to start with a backrub?"
She approached, expression venomous. "I'll imagine I'm being mauled by a dying beast."
But as she neared, her fingers twitched toward a hidden needle.
Ji Chuyan said nothing—but her gaze sharpened behind the book.
Lin Hao faced sank and said " Then don't blame me fo being rough".
Then he grinned.
Whatever. Let's dance, crazy world.
He lunged.
Seconds later, a sharp cry tore through the air.
"WHAT THE HELL!?"
Lin Hao stared down in horror.
Ji Chuyan turned away, cheeks tinged pink.
Snow howled with laughter. "Oh my gods… I thought you were just trash, but you're not even fully equipped!"
Lin Hao said nothing.
Blank-eyed, shattered, he turned and walked away in silence.
This humiliation… might just be the worst of them all.
Lin Hao didn't even have the presence of mind to argue with her. His eyes brimmed with tears as he turned and slowly left Ji Chuyan's chambers, his footsteps heavy. This blow was simply too much for him. Anything else, he could deal with, but if he couldn't perform in bed with a woman, what was the point of it all?!