The Boss, a greasy-haired guy with sunglasses indoors, sits in a dark room lit only by his LED keyboard and a glowing screen. He's locked into a chaotic online match.
Suddenly, the door slams open.
MEMBER (breathless)
Boss!! Urgent!!
BOSS
AHH—DAMMIT!!
(smashes his mouse, misses the character, crushes the game instead)
...Do you know what you just made me do?
MEMBER
(terrified)
I–I'm sorry! But it's big news!
BOSS (growling)
Give me one good reason not to beat your face into the floor.
MEMBER
Congratulations, Boss. You're famous now.
BOSS
…What?
MEMBER (smiling like an idiot)
No need to act, I know now. The whole city knows. You're Black Bear!
BOSS
(confused)
Black what?
MEMBER
Syndicate! Black Bear Syndicate! You've been undercover, haven't you?
The Boss just stares at him. You can see the migraine forming behind his sunglasses.
BOSS (thinking)
When did I become part of Black Bear? Do I look like a bear?
MEMBER
I didn't know you were this deep, Boss. I'm honored! The others will be too.
BOSS (carefully)
...Where did you hear this?
MEMBER
It leaked from the cops. Whole precinct's talking. Said it's confirmed now.
BOSS (thinking)
Goddamn it. It's everywhere.
BOSS (out loud)
Tell me exactly what they said.
MEMBER
This is insane, Boss. So there's this secret code, right?
"Black bunny will eat white rat because lion king is fake."
And they saw our bunny tattoo? Sitting on that pawprint? Boom. Black Bear.
BOSS (internal screaming)
That's not a bear paw! That's just clipart!
BOSS (out loud)
...Right. Yeah. You're in the loop now. Good job.
MEMBER (glowing with pride)
Yes, Boss!
BOSS (fake serious)
Now listen carefully. We lie low. No outside contact. If anyone asks—we're "hibernating."
MEMBER
Like bears?
BOSS
Exactly. Now go hide before your brain causes more damage.
As the member walks away excitedly, the Boss leans against the wall, muttering.
BOSS (to himself)
I just wanted to steal some car radios. Now I'm in a fake syndicate war over a bunny meme and a dead guy's last words.