"You really dare to say such a thing!"
A princess openly suggesting the Emperor help her prank the Crown Prince, this was surely a first in history.
Yet Emperor Xuanwu showed not even a trace of anger. Instead, he had already laid out a fresh sheet of drawing paper.
"What sort of painting would you like?"
"Father Emperor, you've seen the Capital Weekly, so you must have come across the illustrations your daughter drew."
Seeing that he had already offered to create a piece without her even needing to ask, Yun Shu hurried over with delight.
"Just draw one in that same style for me!"
"Your illustrations?"
Emperor Xuanwu paused mid-dip of his brush, his expression slipping into something caught between amusement and exasperation.
"You mean those stick-figure things that look like dead branches with a circle on top, and you insist they're humans?"
"Exactly those!"
How could a soul painting exist without stick figures?
Yun Shu clapped her hands, fully affirming her taste, and even took the chance to shamelessly flatter her Imperial Father.
"Just say that Father Emperor was struck by inspiration and wanted to try your daughter's art style, so you casually painted a piece. If you painted it seriously, even if there were a few small flaws, the final work would still be brilliant. In that case, this daughter would not dare to give it to the Crown Prince as a gift."
"You certainly know how to spin things."
Emperor Xuanwu let out a dry chuckle. Clearly, Yun Shu's honeyed words had amused him.
However, after holding up the brush and sizing up the paper, he still hesitated.
"But on such a large sheet, drawing just one little stick-figure person would look rather odd, wouldn't it?"
"Then let's make it a story scroll!"
Yun Shu traced a few imaginary lines across the paper.
"Just like the ones I draw in the Capital Weekly, each small panel depicts a scene. You can sketch several that connect together into a complete little tale."
"That does sound rather interesting."
Emperor Xuanwu's curiosity was piqued.
"What sort of story do you want?"
"Hmm…"
A glint of cunning flickered in Yun Shu's eyes.
After guiding her Imperial Father to finish the drawings according to her plan, and having him write the captions with his left hand just as she requested, Emperor Xuanwu realized only too late—that he had helped her insult the Crown Prince from beginning to end.
"..."
"You—"
"Father Emperor!"
Just as he opened his mouth to rebuke her, Yun Shu's sly smile vanished in an instant. Her expression turned innocent, even sweet.
"This daughter suddenly feels the painting may have been... a touch too much."
"You know it's excessive, and yet you still want it?" Raising an eyebrow, Emperor Xuanwu instinctively sensed she was up to no good again. He made a show of tearing the painting.
As expected, the little fox pounced forward and snatched it up in one swift motion. Holding the scroll tightly, she rebutted in full sincerity.
"Of course I still want it! You've already painted it, how could I not treasure it? Besides, no matter how excessive this is, it's nothing compared to what the Crown Prince has done!"
Well, that was true.
Leaning back in his chair, Emperor Xuanwu gave up on reclaiming the painting. He simply cast her a glance filled with mock annoyance.
"Then what was all that pretense about it being too much?"
"How could that be called pretense?" Yun Shu defended herself righteously. "This daughter believes the painting is, indeed, sharp-tongued, but that doesn't conflict with giving it to the Crown Prince.
However, I also care about the bigger picture. In the unlikely event the Crown Prince is so angered he suffers a mishap, that would not be ideal. So... may I bring along an imperial physician, just in case?"
"...?"
Emperor Xuanwu stared at her.
He had known from the start that this rascal was up to no good. But bringing an imperial physician "just in case"?
She clearly thought the painting wasn't sharp enough and wanted to ensure maximum damage!
"Father Emperor?"
Knowing that her little ploys could never escape his notice, Yun Shu had long since abandoned the idea of hiding her intentions. She was laying her cards on the table, bold and unashamed.
When Emperor Xuanwu did not immediately reply, she took the chance to continue sowing discord.
"Does Father Emperor believe this daughter to be too soft-hearted? Too kind by nature?
Perhaps that is true. This daughter has always valued familial bonds deeply.
Though Crown Prince Elder Brother may not care much for his younger sister, and has even sought to destroy me, that matters not. As Grand Preceptor once taught, a gentleman repays evil with virtue. Though I am a woman—"
"Enough!"
Three sentences in and she was already tattling on the Crown Prince again.
Emperor Xuanwu rolled his eyes, exasperated.
"And what of the next line in that proverb? 'If one repays virtue with virtue, then how is evil repaid?' Why didn't you quote that?"
"Truly? This daughter had no idea!"
Yun Shu blinked innocently, smiling with exaggerated guilt.
"You know my learning is shallow. I'm still repeating lessons in the Academy Hall, after all."
"..."
"What an appalling performance."
Emperor Xuanwu waved his hand as if swatting away a fly.
"Out. Stop blocking Our sight."
"Then about the imperial physician—" Yun Shu tried again.
"Do as you please!"
He had already helped her paint the thing. What difference would a physician make?
Not wanting to be dragged into more of her antics, Emperor Xuanwu gave an offhand reply.
"Torment whomever you like, just do not trouble Us further!"
"This daughter thanks Father Emperor!"
Having achieved her goal, Yun Shu did not linger. She cradled the painting in both hands and dashed off, her voice ringing through the hall.
"This daughter takes her leave!"
…
From the moment Yun Shu entered the Imperial Study, Yun Chuhuan had been squatting under a tree, poking at ants. His legs had gone numb long ago.
Only when she emerged at last, holding a scroll, did he shoot up, wincing and stumbling toward her.
"Fifth Sister, what took you so long?"
"Had matters to attend to."
Yun Shu gave the scroll a little toss in her hand, her brow lifted in cheerful triumph.
"Come. We still need to stop by the Imperial Medical Bureau."
"The Imperial Medical Bureau?"
Yun Chuhuan stomped his feet a few times.
"My legs just got a little stiff, no need to see a physician!"
"Who said it's for you?"
Yun Shu's voice was unhurried.
"Couldn't it be... for Crown Prince Elder Brother?"
"For Crown Prince Elder Brother?"
Yun Chuhuan froze for a second, then gasped in horror.
"Fifth Sister, you're finally doing it? You're going to stab the Crown Prince?!
That won't do! Attacking the heir is a capital crime. Even if you survive, Father Emperor will beat you within an inch of your life!"
Yun Shu: "...?"
Honestly, if stabbing the Crown Prince only resulted in a beating from Imperial Father, she might actually consider it.
Pity that reality wasn't so forgiving.
Rolling her eyes, Yun Shu snapped back.
"Shut up, will you?"