Ches's open ridicule cut through Macao like a blade, slicing straight into his pride.
His face flushed deep red as he shouted back furiously, "What do you mean 'even a broken ape'? I took down nineteen of those things in one go, you jerk!"
When it came to a man's dignity, he didn't care if you were a terrifying monster or a living legend. He had to defend himself.
"Only someone like you would brag about the number," came a lazy voice from the bar.
Cana was slumped over the countertop, a half-empty barrel nearby. She let out a burp and continued nonchalantly, "If it were me, I wouldn't have needed Natsu or anyone to rescue me at all."
Macao's lips twitched, and his already fragile ego took yet another critical hit.
Ches raised an eyebrow, then grinned.
"Speaking of which… Cana, did you ever settle that tab with the Council? Or are you still dodging payment?"
Cana's relaxed expression froze. Without missing a beat, she pulled a Card from her cleavage and slammed it down on the bar.
"You bastard, Ches! Who are you calling poor?!"
Her shout, soaked in alcohol fumes, echoed through the guild.
Ches ignored her outburst completely and turned his gaze toward the rest of the Fairy Tail members.
"Vijeeter, I heard you snuck into the royal castle in the middle of the night to dance, got mistaken for a pervert, and escaped by diving into a dumpster?"
Ches didn't wait for a reaction.
"And Loke, have you completely lost your mind? Flirting with a Council member's granddaughter?"
His eyes drifted again, locking onto someone in the back.
"And you yeah, you with the goofy grin Alzack! Peeping on the women's bathhouse using a magical sniper scope? Has Bisca not shot you in the face yet?"
One insult after another flew out like bullets.
And with each one, a Fairy Tail member's face turned bright red, either from embarrassment or rage or both.
The atmosphere in the guild began to shift… the temperature rising ever so slightly.
The tension was thick enough to slice with a blade.
"Here we go again," someone muttered.
In the corner, a girl with shoulder-length blonde hair Lucy rested her chin on her hand and let out a sigh.
"Typical. That guy's an S-Class mage in Fairy Tail. Ches , the so-called Card Master. Every time he leaves the guild, he stirs up a storm."
Watching the guild teeter on the edge of total chaos, Lucy let out a helpless sigh. Her gaze drifted across the room before settling on Ches.
She remembered reading about him in the newspaper.
"This level of destruction… weirdly fits his description," she mumbled under her breath.
Just then, the steady sound of leather boots echoed on the wooden floor. A shadow suddenly stretched across her table.
Lucy blinked and looked up in surprise.
Ches, who had been at the entrance just moments ago, was now standing right in front of her.
"You're Lucy, right?"
Without waiting for a reply, Ches pulled out a chair and sat across from her like they were longtime friends. He crossed his legs casually and grabbed the tall glass of iced orange juice sitting on the table.
Then he downed it in one go.
You can't just drink someone else's juice like that! Lucy screamed silently in her head.
Even though her inner voice was furious, she kept her expression polite, still playing the role of a timid newcomer.
"Um, Mr. Ches… do you know me?
Ches set the now-empty glass back in its original spot, even thoughtfully rotating the handle to face Lucy, as if nothing had happened.
Lucy's mouth twitched.
Her inner self was screaming, barely holding back a flurry of curses, when Ches spoke in a calm tone.
"Even though you just joined, Lucy, your reputation's already pretty big."
"Ah aha? Even you've heard of me, Mr. Ches?" Lucy asked, a little stunned. "Was it from the newspaper? I didn't expect to become famous so fast!"
She rubbed the back of her head with a shy smile, but her chest puffed out just a little, her voice filled with a soft kind of pride.
"But don't worry," she added quickly. "I won't let it get to my head. I know I'm still a rookie. My magic's nowhere near Natsu's level, or any of the others. I'll definitely keep working hard to get stronger!"
Ches looked at her and replied flatly, "I heard it on the way here."
"Oh? Really? So the people of Magnolia have already accepted me?"
She smiled brightly, cheeks glowing.
"They said that the moment you joined, you messed up Harujion's port. Everyone was in a panic, and I got lectured because of it."
Lucy's expression twitched.
Her proud smile shattered instantly.
That wasn't a hehe.
The image of Aquarius's chaotic, indiscriminate tidal wave surged through Lucy's memory like a nightmare.
No… Who was the snitch that went around telling people that?!
"Sumimasen! Hontōni sumimasen! I promise I'll be more careful next time!"
Realizing her mistake and that Ches had been dragged into it, Lucy's face turned pale with panic. She bowed repeatedly to apologize.
Unfortunately, she forgot one important detail she was still sitting.
Thud!
Her forehead slammed into the bar table with a sharp, echoing crack that drew everyone's attention.
"Oww hiss! Ow, ow, ow!"
Lucy winced in pain, both hands clutched around the huge lump already forming on her forehead.
…Due to a certain infamous guild habit, Fairy Tail's custom tables and chairs were made extra durable reinforced to be completely fall-resistant.
"Even dumber than I expected…" Ches muttered with a long sigh.
Lucy's head was still spinning from the impact, and she didn't quite catch what Ches had said.
She blinked, her big eyes wide and confused. "Huh? What did you say?"
"I said," Ches replied with a smirk, "you and Natsu really are two of a kind."
Two of a kind…
Was he talking about the port destruction incident?
What a horrible reputation to share.
Lucy's mouth twitched again. She had no words to defend herself.
Puhahahahaha!!
The other members of Fairy Tail finally couldn't hold it in any longer. They burst out laughing, pounding on the tables and clutching their stomachs.
Lucy's embarrassed expression only made it funnier.
But if there was anyone more destructive than Natsu, it was definitely Ches.
At his peak, he once received ten Council complaints for damages… in just two weeks.
If it hadn't been for that streak of chaos, Master Makarov never would have sent Ches off on a ten-year mission.
The guild was buzzing with laughter and energy. The atmosphere inside and out was cheerful and carefree.
Everyone was having a great time except for Lucy.
Her world felt like it was collapsing.
"Hey, hey, Lucy," came a chipper voice, "Ches is actually the biggest destroyer in our entire guild! Even Natsu can't beat the record he set~"
A small blue head suddenly popped up from Lucy's chest.
"Happy?!" she gasped.
Lucy, still stinging from her earlier scolding, widened her eyes in shock.
"So you're saying it's actually Ches and me who are two of a kind…? Ah pfft! I mean with Natsu!"
Her words stumbled over themselves as she processed what Happy had just said. Then she glared at him furiously.
"Would it have killed you to tell me this earlier?!"
"Why does Fairy Tail even have a destruction record… and why are you all proud of it?!"
"And stop popping out from random places!!!"
There were so many things Lucy wanted to complain about that her words came out in a rapid-fire storm, sharp and flustered.
"Aye! If I'd told you earlier, I wouldn't have gotten to see that super embarrassed face of yours~"
Happy flew out from who knows where, covering his mouth with a wicked little grin.
This stupid cat…!
Lucy grit her teeth and clenched her fists, her imaginary anger bar flashing dangerously close to max.
The guild members… the Master… and even this S-Class Mage standing right in front of her…
They were nothing like the strongest, most noble guild in Fiore she'd once admired from afar.
Still, she forced herself to maintain a stiff smile, the last bit of her pride hanging on.
And then
"Anyway, Lucy," Ches said with a warm grin, "welcome to Fairy Tail."
His hand reached out toward her.
The gesture broke through her spiraling thoughts.
Lucy blinked. Something about his relaxed, genuine smile calmed her down.
After a short pause, she smiled back and took his hand, giving it a firm shake.
"Mm!"
Even if it was a little… different than she'd expected, Fairy Tail really was the best.
"…By the way, what are your measurements?"