I opened the door and there stood Doyle, fully geared up like he was heading to war.
"Tch."
"Did you just tch at me?"
"Don't tell me no one warned you. You should already be out of the manor and fully prepared."
I scratched the back of my neck and rolled my eyes, but he didn't answer my question.
"...Well?"
"Also, you're still in your nightgown... and I think there's a little drool hanging off your lip."
His voice was perfectly serious, but there was a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth.
I didn't say a word. I simply gathered my mana, purple flames flared to life in my palm.
...
...
...
"Weren't you scared?"
"Sorry, but... was I supposed to be?"
He thought for a second, then raised both hands, pulled one knee up, and launched into a cheap theater performance.
"Oh noooo, someone help meee! Oww, the young lord is gonna kill meee!"
It was so over the top, even a third rate actor would've done a better job.
Every muscle in my face twitched with irritation. I slammed the door shut in his face without saying a word.
Right before it closed, I heard his voice,
"Please be in the backyard shortly!"
When I stepped into the backyard, Doyle was already waiting, holding the reins of two horses.
It might've been a silly hope, but... I'd wanted my mother to see me off.
"Apparently it's a family tradition," Doyle said, glancing sideways at me. "Sir Theo told me. No send offs for the first hunt. But when you return, a proper welcome is expected."
I gave a small nod and mounted my horse. It was familiar, the same one I'd been training with all year.
At first, I thought about naming him Alco Pony. Mnex shot that down instantly.
"Neighsayer."
Then I tried "Jolly Jumper."
"Neigh."
"Pony Soprana?"
"Still neigh."
Eventually, we both gave up. For now, his name is: 404 Neigh Found.
Mnex still mutters "syntax error" every morning, but I'm not changing it.
Besides, he's not a bad horse.
His coat is half chestnut, half black, with a lighter patch on his front left leg. His mane was short not exactly majestic, but still, he was mine.
We rode through the quiet streets. Not a soul in sight, probably everyone was still asleep.
The sun hadn't even come up yet. In my head, I muttered, "How hard could a hunt be? Two, maybe three days tops, and I'll be back."
"Jinx!"
Mnex... are you a child?
"You'll see. Just because you thought that, you've cursed yourself. The curse will literally rain down on you."
And believe it or not, the moment we left the city behind and entered the wild…
...it started raining.
Mnex, this is all your fault! Sure, maybe I jinxed it, but that "raining down on your head" line? That was entirely on you, you damn digital disaster!
"Sorry," he said calmly. "I'm currently lounging in Mnexland with a cozy blanket, watching your misery like it's a popcorn fueled premiere."
Crunch.
Crunch.
...Wait. Are you seriously eating popcorn?
"Yep!"
Crunch crunch.
You absolute... who are you even flexing on? Whose mana do you think you're running on?!
"Don't worry about the details," he said casually. "Shouldn't you be more focused on, oh I don't know... finding a bear or something?"
"Doyle!"
He turned his head slightly. He looked anything but thrilled to be soaking wet, yet somehow still maintained that deadpan expression.
"Can we at least find some shelter?" I asked hopelessly.
He scanned the area.
So did I.
Open fields... a few bare hills... and a distant patch of trees far off on the horizon.
"...Got it," I muttered under my breath.
And just like that, with the rain pouring down on us, we continued on horseback into the storm.
The rain didn't stop until noon.
We took a break around midday.
Without saying a word, Doyle stripped off his clothes, tied together some branches, and hung them up like a makeshift drying rack. Then he gathered some kindling and quickly lit a fire. He spread his wet clothes near the flames and stood there in nothing but his underwear. A moment later, he pulled out some dried meat from his bag.
Me? I hadn't eaten anything since the night before. I'd ridden through the rain all morning. My stomach was growling like a starving beast.
"Hey! Mind sharing some of that?" I asked, reaching out a hand.
"Nope," he said without even blinking. "It's mine. I can't give you anything. Technically, you were supposed to start the fire yourself, but I helped because it's your first time. Consider that my generosity for the day."
He took another bite and waved me off.
"If I were you, I'd go hunting. We won't be staying here long."
Ughhhhhhh! I was boiling with frustration.
Mnex.
...
Mnex!
...
MNEX!!
"WHAT? I heard you the first time. What do you want?"
What are we gonna do?
"What do 'we' do? I sit here and enjoy your pathetic struggle. 'You' go hunting. Though if I were you, I'd take off your clothes like Doyle did."
You want me to hunt… naked?
"Hah! Now that would be a scene worth watching."
I sighed and gave in. Grumbling to myself, I took off my clothes, tied some branches together like Doyle had, and hung them near the fire.
If anyone saw us from afar... yeah, I'd have no defense.
I grabbed my bow and spear and headed into the forest, half naked and half hoping something would end me.
Just as I was trying to get my focus together, Mnex piped up again,
"Remember the day you snuck out to gamble?"
...Yeah?
"I taught you how to walk quietly that night. If you don't remember that now, you're not going to see a single animal. Your stomping alone will send them running long before you even spot them."
Ah.
"And yeah, the way you're moving right now, your noise is arriving before your scent. Slow down. Calm yourself. And please... bend your knees a little. The only creature that walks that upright is a ceremonial peacock."
Thanks… for the tips.
I wandered the woods for what felt like forever.
No tracks, no footprints, no fresh droppings, nothing.
Eventually, I returned empty handed.
"Perfect!" Doyle said the moment he saw me.
"...What's perfect?"
"Now we don't have to waste any more time here. We can move on."
"Why the rush? Can't we just set up camp?"
Doyle shook his head slightly.
"This wasn't a camp. It was a rest stop. If you really want to hunt a bear or a pack of wolves, we'll need to keep heading northwest for at least three more days."
...Three?
DAYS?
A burst of laughter erupted inside my head.
"HahahahahhahahahaahahaaHAHAHAHAHAH!"
Mnex was losing it somewhere in his invisible recliner.
"Ohhhh this is gonna be good. Survivor: Medieval Edition, baby! Time to make some more snacks. This is gonna take a while.
Coming up this week on MnexTV: Cold, Hungry, and Mostly Naked, Henry vs. the Wild!"
I put my half wet, half dry clothes back on, and we rode off again.
By the time the sky began to darken, Doyle announced we'd stop and set up camp.
He pitched his tent immediately. I watched him and copied his moves to set up mine.
"Go gather some firewood. Light the fire."
"Why don't you do it? You've already got a full stomach."
"This isn't my trial, it's yours. Also, Sir Theo…"
"Alright, alright! Sir Theo said this, Sir Theo said that. You admire him so much, why don't you go kiss his butt cheeks while you're at it?"
"Tch."
Then he pulled another piece of dried meat from his bag.
For a moment, I thought he might offer it.
But nope. Straight into his mouth.
I gave him a "Tch" back and grumbled my way into the woods to gather sticks.
When I returned, he still had a piece of meat in hand. My eyes were locked on it as I lit the fire. With mana, it was easy.
Doyle just kept gnawing on the meat.
"There! Fire's up. Now… how about you share a bite? Come on, if you don't tell anyone, who's gonna know, right?"
He said nothing.
Just popped the last piece into his mouth.
"I'm going to sleep," he said, grabbing his bag and heading for his tent.
"Don't forget to keep watch."
"WHAT?! A night watch? Seriously?"
No response. He disappeared inside the tent.
Moments later, snoring.
So much for the tent I built.
I sat by the fire, the cool air clinging to the remnants of rain, seething with hunger and rage…
Mnex's laughter echoed in the background.
Then he shifted to a faux announcer voice—like this was a reality show:
"And here we have Henry, our young lord, keeping watch for the very first time! Dressed in nothing but exhaustion, with an empty belly full of despair. Outside, snoring. Inside... well, just me. And I'm loving this."
Owls hooted, leaves rustled in the dark, and shadows stirred in the underbrush...
I stayed awake until morning.
At some point… I think my body just shut down.
When I opened my eyes again, Doyle was poking me with his foot.
"WHAT?!"
"I told you to stay on watch, didn't I?"
"I was keeping watch!" I protested.
"Doesn't look like it. Also... has anyone ever told you that you snore really loudly? You woke me up."
He turned to rummage through his bag.
Me? I just sank to the ground and stared at nothing.
"If I were you, I'd head out now. Animals are most active between dawn and noon. Your chances drop sharply by the evening."
Doyle, the moment we return to the city, I'm going to kill you.
I'm going to rip your throat out and fatality you.
Just wait, Doyle. Just wait...
I grabbed my bow and spear and marched into the forest.
Even walking with Mnex's stealth lessons didn't help.
It was like the damned animals had signed a secret treaty, "If you see that kid… run."
I was one musical number away from a full on hakuna matata breakdown.
No rabbits. No squirrels. No deer.
But bugs?
Plenty.
The forest was basically a graveyard of winged horror.
I wandered in circles for hours before finally stumbling back to camp.
Doyle had already packed up his own tent.
Mine? Completely untouched.
Don't worry, Doyle. I'll be sure to skin you before I kill you.
We rode until noon. I was on the verge of collapse.
Doyle casually pulled out more dried meat from his bag and chewed with obnoxious slowness.
Without looking at me, he asked, "Need a break?"
I had no energy left to argue.
No food. No sleep.
No damn bear.
We kept going until evening and stopped again to make camp.
This time, I didn't even bother with a tent. Didn't even light a fire.
Doyle quietly munched on another piece of DRIED MEAT and disappeared into his tent.
And immediately... the snoring began.
Oh no, Doyle. I'm saving your vocal cords for last.
That way, when I'm skinning you alive, you can scream properly.
I didn't even last until dawn.
I passed out right where I sat.
Next thing I knew, I was face first in the dirt.
Doyle had kicked me.
"ARGHHHH…"
"To hell with this!"
I lost it.
I ripped purple fireballs from my mind world and hurled them at him one after another.
One.
Two.
Three.
The bastard was too fast.
Or maybe I was just too slow.
Finally, I exploded.
"You know what I want, Doyle? Just one day, ONE DAY, when I wake up soaked, exhausted, hungry, pissed, and don't regret being with you. That's it. Just one fucking day!"
Doyle shrugged.
"Congrats. You probably scared off every animal within ten miles."
"Hey, I've got an idea!" Mnex chirped.
What?
"Maybe... you develop a new spell?"
Magic? Is that gonna fill my stomach?
"If it works, hunting will be a breeze. Instead of crying from hunger, you can have a productive mental breakdown."
I didn't think twice.
I sat down.
Closed my eyes.
And dove into the mind world.