"Well... This is new." Rowan muttered, whirling left and right as he stared into the endless darkness, broken only by a lone spotlight beneath which sat a table with a phone laid atop it. "Usually there are sacrifices and occultists waiting for me. Smart guys."
Those usually died the fastest, especially the ones who offered him helpless virgins for whatever fucking reason. If only he could find the bastard who'd spread the word that he required one either as sacrifices. Oh, the things he'd do to them. Though, at least they didn't say he needed dead virgins, so there was that...
Fearlessly, he walked toward the phone, equal parts intrigued and annoyed that his already busy schedule had been interrupted for... This.
"Right, let's see..."
Wordlessly, he fished a pair of glasses from his pocket, slipped them on, and opened the call app, which showed one number and one number only. The line tooted for several seconds before someone answered with reverence.
"You'd better have a good reason for this."
"—$@^#^×>×*×^=—"
"What?"
"—&@#^&÷@(23—"
"A Q&A? What the fuck am I, a Hollywood boytoy?"
"—$&>×<÷12—"
He sighed, already exasperated. "We can't even control the members of our cult. What do you mean we need more?! And what do you mean I need to do fucking PR?! Motherfucker, I'll eat your soul and shit it out!"
"—&@>=<×103—"
"Oh, for fuck's sa—Fine, fine! Fuck! But just so we're clear, I'm not doing any ass stuff!" With that settled, he wordlessly crushed the phone in one hand and tossed its broken remains into the dark. "Unimaginable. The galls of these bastards! I swear, they get more and more insolent by the day."
Then and only then did he regard the simple chair waiting beneath the spotlight.
With but a flick of his fingers, it twisted and swelled into a throne of skulls that at last befit one of his station, which he dropped onto, before finally deigning to acknowledge the camera that looked like it was nabbed off a JAV set.
"Rejoice, mortals, cultists and freeloaders! Your Lord has graciously agreed to entertain you on this fine day!!! Voice your questions while I still possess the patience to answer them. I can even give you life advices if you wish, but follow them at your own risk."