Riku didn't expect his first assignment as Truck-Kun to begin with a pair of cat ears and a glitchy voice modulator.
Karma-1 barreled through a swirl of cotton-candy-colored mist, the Bureau of Reincarnation fading behind them. The inside of the truck cab was unnervingly high-tech, sleek glass screens, soul tracking meters, and one lever labeled "YEET."
"Is this safe?" Riku asked, clutching the edge of his seat.
"No," said Karma-1. "But neither is fate."
A blinking file popped up on the dashboard with a cheery jingle.
📄 SOUL FILE: MIMI.EXE👩🎤 Mimi Fujiwara, Age 19📺 Profession: Aspiring VTuber / Full-Time Catgirl☠️ Cause of Death: Fishbone. Inhaled mid-uwu. Livestream ongoing.⚠️ Current Status: Actively dying
"She's still dying?" Riku choked.
"Technically, she's in the 'final dramatic flail' phase," Karma-1 said. "We'll arrive in three seconds."
Riku barely had time to adjust his seatbelt before the world outside blinked into a familiar cityscape—Tokyo at night, neon signs blazing, and a large flashing sign that read:
🍣LIVE: MIMI_NYA STRONG DEBUT STREAM!🍣
The dashboard screen zoomed in on a girl flopping around her bedroom floor in a frilly maid outfit. A pastel headset dangled from one cat ear. She gasped, hacked, and squeaked, "Nyaaa—I—I think Mimi's dying~! UwU—"
Then she made direct eye contact with the ceiling camera. "Like and subscribe for heaven points~!"
Riku facepalmed. "This is the dumbest death I've ever seen."
"You've only seen one," Karma-1 replied. "Get ready. The rules are simple. Drive in. Honk twice. Send her flying. Bonus points if you do it with style."
The truck lurched.
Tokyo, 10:29 PM.
Mimi's livestream chat was blowing up.
🐾 fluffycatboy99: Is this part of the act?🍥 SugoiSamurai: girl's dying for real lol🌟NyaaSupreme: bet she gets isekai'd
Mimi's limbs twitched. "T-Twelve tails... or nothing... nya..."
Suddenly, the wall of her apartment exploded n a burst of swirling wind and truck headlights. Karma-1 roared into the room like a divine semi from another dimension, neon trim glowing with ancient power.
"W-What the meow?!" Mimi screeched, eyes wide as moons.
"Delivery confirmed," Karma-1 said.
Riku leaned out the window, slightly panicked. "Sorry, this'll only take a second, uh, good luck reincarnating—"
HOOOOOONK!
Mimi vanished mid-squeal in a burst of glitter and static.
Her stream crashed
THUD!
Mimi landed face-first on the Bureau's welcome mat, which read: "YOU DIED! (But It's Okay!)"
She lifted her head, ears twitching. "...Was that a truck?! That talked?!"
"Welcome to the afterlife," Ginger Snap said, sipping lukewarm soulffee. "Try not to scream."
"Scream?! I just got yeeted by a truck and dropped into a cookie-themed nightmare!"
"Not a nightmare," said Madame Macaron, descending the spiral cookie staircase in glittery heels. "A highly organized and delightfully scented bureaucratic holding space. With fabulous staff."
Mimi gasped and pointed. "Are you—are you a macaron with eyelashes?!"
"Guilty," Macaron purred. "Now, let's talk reincarnation. You've died, cute, but not graceful and you're eligible for rebirth."
Mimi flipped her pigtails. "Then I demand compensation. I want to be reincarnated as a celestial fox goddess with twelve tails, triple S-rank charm, and a passive nya aura that makes people simp."
Riku, who had just parked Karma-1, wandered in and caught the tail-end of that sentence.
"I don't even know what half that means," he muttered.
Mimi slammed her sparkly pink soul file on the reception counter. "Twelve. Tails. Not eleven. Not ten. Twelve. I counted."
Macaron smiled tightly, the kind of smile you give someone before strangling them with a silk glove.
"Darling, sweet butter-baked darling, I understand your vision," she said, her accent melting like crème brûlée under a heat lamp. "But your soul stats can only support six tails without collapsing into a magical feedback loop. Seven if we snip your empathy stat."
"I need twelve," Mimi insisted, flipping her hair. "My brand depends on maximum floof."
"I need a vacation and a bottle of rosé," Macaron muttered under her breath.
"I could trade you!" Mimi offered. "Take my Intelligence score. Who even uses that in isekai worlds? I'll just charm my way through dungeons."
Macaron pinched the bridge of her frosting-flecked nose. "If I remove any more stats, you'll be reincarnated as a glowing marshmallow."
Riku cautiously approached, holding a box labeled [REINCARNATION COSMETIC SAMPLER – Soul-Grade] that had been left unattended next to the supply cabinet.
"Okay, okay, hear me out," he said, lifting the lid like a magician. "What if, instead of actual tails, we... simulate the vibe of twelve?"
Mimi blinked. "Explain. Slowly. In words even a streamer can understand."
Riku pulled out a glittering bottle. "This is 'Astral Aura No. 9.' Gives the illusion of multiple tails, with customizable shimmer effects and 80% less existential strain."
Mimi gasped. "It sparkles?"
"Like trauma at a K-pop concert."
Macaron's eye twitched. "That's not an approved usage."
Riku rummaged further. "We also have 'Tail Extensions: Ethereal Edition,' comes with motion tracking and a lifetime warranty. And—ooh—'Nya Polish' for vocal enhancements."
Mimi's ears perked up. "Does it come in 'blood moon violet'?"
"Sure," Riku said, absolutely guessing.
Macaron grabbed the edge of the counter to steady herself. "Riku. Sweetheart. Those are decorative, non-magicalenhancements. They are not replacements for actual divine-grade soul anatomy."
"But they're shiny," Riku said helpfully.
"I'll take them all!" Mimi declared, grabbing the entire box and hugging it like a box of chocolates on Valentine's Day. "Twelve tails and a marketing deal! I'll call it Mimi's Mystical Floof Kit.™"
"You don't have marketing rights—" Ginger Snap started.
"I'll find a way," she said confidently.
"Of course she will," Macaron muttered, slowly walking toward the emergency glitter-repellent cabinet.
Fifteen minutes later, Mimi posed at the portal's edge, tail swishing, sparkles floating around her. "Tell my fans I loved them. Especially SugoiSamurai."
"We literally can't contact the living," Riku said.
"I said what I said."
Karma-1 honked softly. The portal shimmered.
"Next stop: Arcania-12. Magic warzone. Family drama. Frequent headpats."
Mimi winked at Riku. "You're alright, Truck-Boy. Not very sparkly, but I respect the chaos."
"Thanks... I think?"
With a final meow and two-finger salute, Mimi launched herself into the portal.
She was gone.