Chapter 8: The Press Conference Premiere
"Alright, LA. The land of dreams, broken dreams, and suspiciously green smoothies. And today, the land where Tony Stark officially announces he's gone from arms dealer to… well, still an arms dealer, but now with a conscience and a really cool suit of armor. I mean, good for him. But let's be real, the true star of this show isn't the guy who just survived an explosion. It's the guy who's about to ask him a question so profoundly annoying, it'll live rent-free in his head for weeks. Because that, my friends, is how you make a legacy."
Armed with a fresh (if slightly too-large) hoodie, new jeans, and a pair of generic sneakers, Alex Kane finally felt less like a refugee and more like… well, like himself, only a slightly more unhinged version. He'd spent the last few days acclimatizing, buying a burner phone, and tracking the news cycle. The entire world was buzzing about Tony Stark's miraculous return and the impending press conference. This was his moment. Not to be a hero, not to save the day, but to be a truly magnificent, anonymous pain in the ass.
He arrived at the Stark Industries building early, blending seamlessly into the growing crowd of eager journalists, buzzing photographers, and star-struck fans. His "Situational Awareness (Tactical)" allowed him to identify the best vantage points, the security blind spots, and the general flow of the crowd. He positioned himself strategically, not too close to the front to draw attention, but close enough to be heard. He felt a nervous energy thrumming beneath his skin, a mix of anticipation and the genuine thrill of a well-executed prank.
"This is it. My debut. My stand-up comedy special, but the audience is a bunch of skeptical reporters, and the main act is a billionaire with a god complex. No pressure. Just remember: sarcasm, pop culture, and a healthy dose of pure, unadulterated logical absurdity. You got this, Alex. Make Stiles proud."
The press conference began. Obadiah Stane, looking suitably somber and corporate, gave his opening remarks, talking about Stark Industries' commitment to ethics and blah, blah, blah. Alex tuned him out. His eyes were fixed on the door, waiting.
Then, the man himself. Tony Stark, flanked by Pepper Potts, strode onto the stage. He looked… good. A bit pale, perhaps, but with that familiar smirk already back in place. He was in a suit, of course. Perfectly tailored. Alex almost snorted. Even after a cave, the man still had style.
Tony took the podium, the room falling silent. He played the part, talking about his experience, the clarity it brought. He spoke of accountability, of changing Stark Industries' direction. And then, the moment. "I am Iron Man."
A ripple went through the crowd. Shock. Awe. Utter disbelief. The journalists erupted, a cacophony of shouts, questions, and flashing cameras. This was the opening.
Alex, taking a deep breath, channeled his inner sarcastic instigator. He raised his hand, not frantically, but with a deliberate, almost academic gesture, as if he had a genuinely profound question.
"Mr. Stark! Mr. Stark, over here!" he called out, his voice clear and surprisingly carrying.
Tony, clearly overwhelmed but trying to maintain composure, gestured vaguely in Alex's direction. "Yes, you in the… hoodie. With the surprisingly earnest face for a press conference."
Alex stood tall, a mischievous glint in his eye. "Mr. Stark, my name is… uh… Alan Kage, independent blogger. And my question is this: Given your recent, shall we say, epiphany, regarding the ethical implications of your company's previous endeavors, and the rather… flamboyant nature of your recent escape from captivity, which, let's be honest, looked like something out of a Michael Bay movie directed by a very angry Transformer… My question is, how do you plan to reconcile the inherent human desire for global peace with the undeniable, primal urge to build increasingly destructive, yet undeniably cool, giant metal suits? And furthermore, do you believe the Arc Reactor runs on pure sustainable energy, or is it perhaps, at a deeper, more existential level, powered by the collective eye-rolls of everyone who's ever been told 'peace is possible' right before a new weapon system is unveiled?"
Silence.
The journalists stared. Tony stared. Pepper Potts looked like she was trying to calculate the trajectory of a rapidly thrown glass of water.
Tony's smirk faltered. His eyes narrowed, a flicker of genuine bewilderment crossing his face. He opened his mouth, then closed it. He clearly wasn't expecting a question about the philosophical underpinnings of weapon aesthetics and the existential fuel source of his chest light.
"Excuse me?" Tony finally managed, his voice laced with uncharacteristic confusion. "Are you… are you high right now?"
Alex shrugged, adopting an air of profound thoughtfulness. "Just profoundly awake, Mr. Stark. The real question is, are we? As a society, I mean. Are we truly awake to the subtle paradoxes of our own technological advancement, or are we just… collectively hitting snooze on the alarm clock of our own impending doom, while simultaneously creating fancier alarm clocks that can also shoot lasers?"
A few journalists actually started to chuckle, then quickly tried to hide it. Others whispered to each other, clearly trying to make sense of Alex's rambling. Tony ran a hand over his face, a visible vein throbbing in his temple. He looked genuinely, spectacularly annoyed.
"Oh, that's the good stuff. That's the nectar of the gods. Tony Stark, king of snark, utterly speechless and mildly flustered. This is why I was put on this Earth. Or, you know, transmigrated onto this Earth. Same difference. Look, I'm just trying to make the world a more interesting, slightly more confused place. One ridiculously convoluted question at a time."
Pepper stepped forward, a forced smile on her face. "I think what 'Alan Kage' is trying to ask, Mr. Stark, is how Stark Industries plans to transition away from its previous business model." She shot Alex a look that could curdle milk.
Tony, still staring at Alex as if he were an alien artifact, finally recovered. "Right. Yes. That. We're, uh… we're working on it. Next question! Preferably one that doesn't sound like it was written by a philosophy major on a caffeine binge."
Alex, having achieved his goal, simply smiled, a picture of innocent satisfaction, and let the other journalists clamor for attention. His work here was done. Tony was officially annoyed. Mission accomplished.
[Mischief Target: Tony Stark | Annoyance Level: Volcanic - Utterly Flustered and Confused.]
[Mischief Target: Media and Public | Annoyance Level: Moderate - Baffled and Amused.]
[Calculating Rewards...]
[Reward Acquired: 75 Mischief Points]
[Skill Acquired: D-Rank - "Media Manipulation (Minor)"]
[Hidden Achievement Unlocked: "First Public Annoyance of an Avenger (Pre-Avengers Era)"]
[New Plot Alert: Corporate Intrigue. Opportunity for targeted, long-term mischief and digital infiltration.]