That conversation stayed with him long after they left Haiten.
Konrad wanted to call out the bishop for abusing his power, but it turns out—
The Church might not have been the bad guys here.
He also thought about confirming things with Father Alastair, but—
What could he have even said at this point?
The signs were obvious.
The village was, in fact, thriving. And it wasn't because Konrad tried to get on the merchant's good side and stuff his pockets. It was because of how the priest used his money in his stead.
And then, there was Zoltan, too.
When they first met, he scammed Konrad, and he chased him until he ran out of breath.
But as soon as he tracked the illusionist back to Ejtyangard, he had to realise—
He wasn't scamming for himself. He did it for the villagers.
Not because he had to.
He wasn't even from that area. Nor was he their liege, or the same species.
But he did it anyway. And meanwhile, Konrad?
He'd only keep chasing that elusive control over his own life.
Like, sure. He wanted his people to live a good life, too, but he had become their duke, so—
That was the least he could do.
But the others? Alastair, Zoltan, heck, in a sense, even Maou Midori?!
They did things that benefited others without anyone ever asking them, or it being their duty.
'If I didn't know better, I'd say he used a mind trick on you,' Paula scoffed, breaking the endless cycle of his self-doubt. 'But he didn't even accuse or judge you for anything, so what happened?'
True. In fact, he didn't even learn the truth about Brigida and Benedictus, because—
"The girl keeps secrets from me, and the bishop is the one who protected them?!" he scowled.
"Master?" Eyna asked, blinking, the only one still traveling with him.
And the one who'd never read his mind, even if the parallel brain didn't lock her out.
Lily and Gabrielle were long gone.
He hoped they were all right. But their actions, too—
They risked their lives to protect Kasserlane while he had to lay low, to avoid God's judgment?!
Konrad felt like trash today.
"Nothing," he grunted, sinking deeper into the cushions as the carriage rode along. "This confrontation with Bishop Cathiers was eye-opening in ways I didn't expect."
"Then it is something," the purple-eyed girl pointed out, leaning closer. "Would you tell me?"
Ugh. To Eyna, of all people, who held his entire duchy together?
And now, the remaining members of her tribe, too. They worked day and night at the new governmental office because he shoved too much on this poor girl.
'Nah. They only work during the day,' Paula pointed out. 'Candles are expensive.'
Sigh. As if that would change the fact that they were doing his job.
"It feels like I'm taking advantage of everyone around me," Konrad admitted. "Rather than serving the people or helping them, I do the bare least, and reap the fruits of their labour."
"The bishop told you that, Master?" the girl scowled.
"Well, no. He didn't even talk about me or anything, only put some things in a new light."
"What things, exactly?" Eyna asked, changing her seat.
Until now, they traveled facing each other in the large and comfortable carriage, but now—
She sat beside him and scooted closer until their arms touched.
"If there's anything I do wrong and need to change, please, tell me, Master."
Ugh. And now she felt bad because of him, too?
"It's the exact opposite," Konrad grunted, but didn't pull away. "I work you to the bone, and you get nothing in return. And it's the same for the entire duchy. I'm a no-good, selfish ruler."
The girl blinked, pulling away this time, then her face darkened.
"That Church bastard told you that?!"
Um. This might have been the first time he saw her this upset.
"I still remember how we met," Eyna said, her voice crackling. "You had only started learning your magic, and your power was pathetic. And yet, when you saw us, the Black River tribe—"
Ah, right. He did rush into the greater dungeon because of them.
He almost forgot.
"If it weren't for you, none of us would've survived," she claimed, getting emotional. "I would never say you used me. But even if I spent my entire life by your side, it wouldn't be enough."
"You don't owe me anything," Konrad said, his hand moving on its own to hold her shoulders.
"Yes, I do, Master," Eyna snapped, leaning in closer. "I owe my existence to you. And so does my tribe. And all those enslaved children you freed, and the nomads. You, selfish?!"
Wow. Who would have thought she'd get so worked up for his sake?
"You're right," he whispered, trying to calm her down. "Guess I did the right thing sometimes. But I still want to do more, and not by forcing others to do things for me."
Nor by looking at what served him best in the long run.
'What's this obsession with charity now?' Paula asked, seeming unaffected by their emotions.
Although—Konrad had no idea what came over him, either.
'If anything, I envy your freedom to do the right or the wrong thing, whichever you fancy. Why would you become a martyr for others, when you can kick back and enjoy your life?'
He was about to snap back at her, but—
For one, he was still holding the trembling Eyna. And two?
This was Paula Streletsky they were talking about.
A child blessed with insane magic that became her curse.
And then Null tortured her for about thirty years, forcing her to create the Zone.
Was everyone around him this fucked up?
One way or another, they all went through hell. Nobody seemed to achieve anything they actually wanted. And given that they all had something to do with Lucifer—
"Man, how long do I have to lay low?" Konrad breathed into Eyna's neck.
He was itching to fight that bastard and right all the wrongs he committed.
"M-Master?" the girl whispered, shuddering. "That tickles."
Right. He was holding her, but—when did they get this close?!
She had a pure sugar scent. Sweet and innocent, and—
Konrad realised he wanted a lot more of it.
Before he knew it, he was kissing that neck, rather than breathing down on it.
"Ah. Master," the girl sighed, too, and—
'Okay, I take it all back,' Paula scoffed. 'You're a scumbag after all. Right after you had your sweet little date with your wife? Now you're all a horndog with another Haremette?!'
He couldn't argue with that. But wasn't this much selfishness fine?
Knowing that Eyna had fallen in love with him for so long, and—
Yes. This could have been her reward. The comfort she deserved.
'Spin it all you want, you're still a cheater,' the parallel brain noted. 'But whatever. Wake me up once it's all over. Feel so bad for the poor homunculi, I don't even want to eavesdrop.'
Yeah, yeah. She was also right.
But as he was kissing the dark-skinned beauty's chin—
He couldn't exactly stop himself anymore. And Eyna sure as hell didn't stop him, either.
And—to make things even worse? Now was the first time he didn't feel guilty at all.