The adrenaline was still coursing through my veins, leaving me intoxicated on a pure rush of violence.
You need to hold back, kid," Nox said, his voice flat but firm. "This isn't the battlefield. Those weren't soldiers, they were civilians. They're not built to survive what I made you capable of."
I wiped my knuckles slowly, watching the smear of red fade into the grain of my skin. His words barely registered past the lingering hum in my veins.
I tilted my head, a slow smile creeping across my lips. "But it was fun. The way they screamed, the way they begged… It made my blood race. Every blow, every cry, it was intoxicating."
His tone hardened. "Are you going to throw away all those years? All that suffering you endured to get here? That little act you put on yesterday will only get you so far. One slip, and you'll risk everything."
His words stung like salt on a wound, but he was right. If I couldn't control myself, I'd be risking everything I had bled for and that was unacceptable.
I let out a slow sigh, lifting my gaze to the pale sky above. "Pretending to be normal," I murmured, "is exhausting."
By now Cael would have informed the headmaster about this incident. It would be a matter of time before the summons would come knocking at my door. I couldn't care less about that. Those kids had it coming.
I pushed the door open, the quiet of the room wrapping around me like a thin shroud. I had almost forgotten there was someone else here.
"You're back," she said softly, looking up from the couch. "I thought you said you'd be late."
I ignored her presence like it never existed. I didn't even look at her. My eyes moved over the space as though she weren't there, just another piece of furniture I had no use for. If she felt that sting, good. I don't care. Every gesture I made, every word I offered, was calculated, measured, and an act. Connections, bonds… they're just tools to be sharpened and discarded when dull. They've never meant anything to me, and they never will.
After all… everything once its purpose has been fulfilled is meant to be discarded.
"Cecilia?" she knocked lightly on my door, her voice low, careful. "Are you okay?"
I didn't answer. Didn't see the need to. Yet she knocked again but this time her voice was filled with concern. "Cecilia, if you're not feeling well. I can take you to the infirmary."
That concern of hers made me nauseous and uncomfortable until I snapped at her, "Will you leave me alone," I said, each word clipped and cold enough to frost the air between us. I wanted her to feel it, to feel the truth in my voice and back away. My patience was threadbare, and if she kept tugging at it, I'd cut the thread myself.
She hesitated. "Cecilia—"
Good stay far away from. I'm not someone worth keeping around or befriending.
A sudden knock rattled the door. The sound cracked through the air, splintering the tension.
Vivian opened the door, and a pale-faced messenger stood there, his posture stiff, his tone curt.
"The Headmaster requests Cecilia Florence's presence. Immediately."
I didn't miss the flicker of unease in my Vivian's eyes, the confusion knitting her brow. My heart goes out to her. She has no idea what kind of monster is living with her.
"I understand," I said, my voice low, deliberate.
By that time, I was summoned. The sun was setting.
The council chamber I was taken to, was steeped in suffocating pressure, the air thick with unspoken judgment. There they sat in a perfect line, robes stiff, eyes sharper than their words would ever be. I stepped inside, unhurried, bowing without lowering my gaze. I recognise some of them. Yet the thing that intrigued me was the scent of unease or more like fear that hung faintly in the room, clinging to one of them like perfume. I knew exactly whose it was.
"Miss Florence," the headmaster began, his voice carrying the weight of practised authority, "do you understand the severity of your actions?"
"I do."
I took my seat without waiting for permission, my tone steady, almost bored. "They shouldn't have tried to provoke me if they couldn't endure the consequences."
"You do," one of the professors scoffed, the sound brittle. "You nearly crippled three students."
"And?" I tilted my head slightly. "They're still breathing… aren't they?"
The words fell softly, but the silence that followed was leaden, as if the room itself had forgotten how to breathe.
"Do you find this amusing?" another professor demanded, leaning forward. His knuckles whitened against the table.
"I found it… apparently," I said, folding my hands neatly in my lap.
"You're arrogant."
I let the faintest curve touch my lips. "Am I?"
This way of talking is something I picked up on the battlefield, and boy, does it make one burn with anger.
Cael shifted in his seat, uncomfortable. Bet he didn't know he, too, would have to be here. Of course, he was the one who had scurried off to report me to the headmaster. Coward.
I rose slowly, letting my gaze pin him where he sat. "Commander Cael," I said, my voice laced with mockery, "Why are you acting like this.? I thought we were comrades who helped each other. You're hurting my feelings by acting like this."
I laughed low, unhurried and every pair of eyes turned to him. Poor Cael.
Curious aren't you, about how I know Instructor Cael.
"That's enough, Miss Florence," the headmaster's voice cracked through the air like a whip, sharp and unforgiving. "You've acted far beyond the bounds of acceptable conduct today and now you dare to threaten your own instructor. Do not mistake this academy for a place where you can indulge your whims without consequence."
I wanted to answer. Not to defend myself, but to let my words cut just as deeply as my actions had. But my lips refused to move not from fear, but because Lux had already bound them shut with a silencing spell. I could feel the magic coiled around my mouth like invisible iron.
"For the next month," the headmaster continued, each word deliberate and heavy, "you are suspended. You will remain under my direct supervision for the entire duration." His eyes, cold and unblinking, fixed on me as if daring me to resist. "This meeting is adjourned. Stay behind, Miss Florence, your punishment begins now."
I saw it in her eyes, there was no hint of remorse, no trace of guilt for what she had done earlier. And yet, buried deep beneath that cold indifference, there was something else… pain, raw and unhealed, carefully concealed.
At that moment, I knew exactly what I should do and what Ronan would expect of me.
I could let her burn herself out, let the inevitable self-destruction claim her. The way she was now, it was only a matter of time. But that would be the easy way out. The smarter choice, the necessary one was to keep her close.
She made her dislike for me abundantly clear, but someone had to take the first step. And the way Cael looked at her, the fear in his eyes… it told me there was far more to Cecilia Florence than I've known.
"Come with me, Miss Florence. We have much work to do."
I tilted my head, narrowing my eyes. "Do you truly believe keeping me at your side is a wise choice? You know why I'm here… and yet you still insist on keeping me close."
He chuckled, low and unbothered. "To me, you're a little lion who's hurt, wounded, and in pain. I know very well you don't like me, but for an entire month, you'll be working with me. So, I suggest you at least pretend to like me."
"Where are we going?" I asked, cautious but steady.
"To my office."
That was when it began a faint ringing at the edges of my mind, growing louder with every step. A creeping awareness clawed at me, the sense that I had forgotten something important. Colours around me began to drain, dulling to grey. Nox's voice was distant, fading like mist, and then it struck me.
I hadn't gone there. My usual place. And if I didn't… the consequences would come with it would also affect me.
"Miss Florence?" His voice cut through, sharper now. "Are you feeling alright? You're soaked in cold sweat."
"I'm fine," I managed to say. I could endure this. I couldn't let anyone know and couldn't let anyone step inside that place. It was dangerous. Yet the pain was driving me to the edge of madness.
"Kid, you need to leave. Right now. If you don't… even I can't predict what'll happen." Nox's voice carried urgency.
"But how could I leave when he was here?" With him right in front of me, walking away was impossible. I told myself "I'd manage. When the time comes, I'll go."
"It's your call, kid."
That was my mistake. My naive thinking. That monster spent the entire month watching me like a hawk and working me like an animal.
For the next month, he made me work around the clock, twenty-four seven, without pause. I barely had time to return to my room, let alone follow my usual routine. The pain had been unbearable at first, but after a while, I could hardly feel it anymore. Still, I owed Vivian an apology. No matter how irritated I'd been, I shouldn't have taken it out on her.
"Working hard, are we?" His voice broke my thoughts. "Only a few days left in your suspension. Shame I'll be losing such a capable assistant."
I glared at him. How could anyone be this slow with paperwork? Or was he simply taking advantage of me?
Somehow, over these last few days, he'd managed to make me comfortable around him. I didn't know how, but he'd… tamed me.
"Really, you don't think so?" Nox narrowed his eyes. "Let me remind you how easily you let yourself be tamed with those chocolate cakes."
"That was different."
"You know…" he continued, not looking up from the documents, "let me give you some advice."
"What is it?" I asked warily.
"You shouldn't—no, let me rephrase that—you don't need to distance yourself from bonds or relations. If you keep pushing everyone away, one day you'll end up nothing more than a hollow shell."
I kept my head down, sorting through the papers.
"I know you struggle to trust people," he went on. "That night you introduced yourself to your roommate. It was an act. But if you could allow yourself even a little room to trust, I'm sure you'd feel lighter."
Does he know something? Those eyes of his can see through almost everything. It wouldn't surprise me if he did. My past was erased before I came here. No records, no witnesses, nothing that could give my life away.
"I'll keep that in mind."
The next few days passed quickly, and it was the last day of my suspension.
"Can I ask you something?" I hesitated because the words felt unnatural on my tongue. I knew better than to ask anyone for favours.
The Headmaster's eyes lit with delight. "Of course. You can ask me anything."
"Can I use the library?"
"Of course—it's not restricted for students."
"Not the areas open to students," I clarified. "I mean the restricted sections. And… the one in the basement of all four towers."
He paused, considering my request.
"It's hard," I added quietly, "sneaking around every night. And the formulas are difficult to decode in such short bursts."
His eyes sharpened. "It was you… sneaking around in the restricted areas."
I froze. My tongue had slipped.
He sighed. "No wonder I couldn't find the intruder trying to undo the seals I placed there."
After a long moment, he said, "Fine. You can have access. Give me your student card."
"Thank you… Thank you so much." My voice cracked, joy flooding me. For the first time in years, I hadn't been denied a favour.
He took my card and the runes glowed with mana. A faint hum filled the room, followed by a soft click.
"There." He handed the card back to me. "Your access will last exactly one month. After that, the seals will reactivate. If you wish to continue using the restricted library, you'll need to come to me every month for reactivation no exceptions."
"I understand," I said quickly, slipping the card safely into my pocket.
"I hope you understand," he added, leaning back in his chair, "that the restricted sections aren't simply 'off-limits' for the sake of rules. They're dangerous. Some of the texts down there will bite back if you look so much as look at them wrongly."
"I can handle it."
He smiled faintly.
I left his office with my heart hammering. The halls felt different now, alive with possibilities. I'd spent countless nights trying to break those seals, wasting precious hours in the dark. Now, the gates were open.
For once, I didn't need to sneak.
To be continued.