"Ah, I'm glad you're okay."
Stelle fiddled with her fingers awkwardly, watching the Cloud Knight in front of her vomit his guts out.
"Ugh… No… I… I'm fine."
The Cloud Knight wiped his mouth. It was a miracle he'd survived this undercover mission at all. Throwing up once was a small price to pay; he'd come out ahead.
"Ahem, I have to go back to the Divine Foresight Residence to report. You need to be careful from now on!"
The Cloud Knight instructed Stelle, then staggered away toward the Divine Foresight Residence like a drunkard, swaying and unsteady.
"Stelle."
Wende and Welt approached from behind her only after the Cloud Knight had left.
"Wende, and Mr. Yang, what are you two doing here?"
"We were worried about you. Don't worry, March is keeping watch over there. If anything happens, she'll text us," Wende said with a gentle smile.
"Mhm…"
Stelle nodded in understanding before relaying the news that she had successfully infiltrated the Disciples of Sanctus Medicus.
"I see. It seems the Disciples of Sanctus Medicus are more powerful than Lady Qingzu anticipated. It looks like they've been planning this for a long time," Welt deduced from the fragmented information Stelle provided.
"In that case, it seems we have no choice but to let Stelle remain undercover with them for a while. They are likely the masterminds behind the Mara plague spreading across the Xianzhou, but we still need to lure out their leader," Wende said, looking at the slightly dazed Stelle and nodding at Welt.
"Yes, that's our only option for now. Stelle, did they tell you when to rendezvous with them?"
"They did. We exchanged contact info on our phones."
"That's good. I'll text March to come back for now. We'll rest up at the inn first. When the time comes, Stelle, you can go meet them."
"You gotta be kidding me! What is this?! You call this an announcement?! Just dropping the splash art and nothing else! Is the official account trying to be a riddler now?!"
Kakaya, hugging his baby bottle, gnashed his teeth as he stared at the latest post from the official Honkai: Star Rail account.
[Kakaya, calm down. The 1.1 version preview livestream is tomorrow. Maybe they'll announce the 5-star Wende then.]
[You really think so? Do you actually believe that…]
[I believe. My children will believe. And my children's children will believe…]
[Are you the modern-day Foolish Old Man?]
"Oh, right. We can still get 300 Stellar Jades."
Kakaya nodded in realization, but his rage quickly returned.
"So! When the hell is the 5-star Wende coming out?! I didn't even max out my Jing Yuan-yuan because I was saving for Wende-de! MiHoyo! You will pay for this! Aaargh!"
[Probably not next version, right? The leaks said it's Silver Wolf and Luocha…]
[You believe everything the leaks say?]
[Waaaaah, my Silver Wolf! My Bronya! My Luocha…]
[Gotta say, seeing Luocha's face gives me major PTSD.]
[You are not alone.]
[But his chest is pretty big too…]
[Wende: I hear you've been looking for another mother outside this family?]
[Luocha: I'm not here to break up this family.jpg]
[Ah… my wallet! My poor money! Why does it feel like I have to pull for everyone!]
[miHoyo: Your wallet? Yoink!]
"Luocha? Heh, let me tell you, with a face like that, he's definitely not a good person! I would rather die! Die out there! Jump off the Starskiff Sea! I will not drink a single drop of Luocha's milk!"
"Only Wende's milk is the most authentic, the most suitable for a doggie's growth and development! When you drink milk, make sure it's Wende-brand!"
[Hear, hear! I've been drinking it since I was a kid!]
[I went from soft to hard drinking it.]
[?]
[??]
[I mean… I… uh… I'm this…]
[Alright, stop explaining. Go to hell!]
[No! Don't you guys stan Wende?!]
[We stan Fume-shroom and Sunflower!]
[That's reverence and respect! You, on the other hand, are a Slaaneshi degenerate with a mind full of nothing but boobs!]
[I am merely appreciating the peak of male physical health ♂]
[Keep your 'appreciating' to yourself.]
"I may be a beautiful young lady, but I will continue to protect my Yifu! I am Sister Guoguo, the righteous guardian of Yifu's pectoral muscles!"
In her latest video upload, Sister Guoguo was meticulously appreciating Wende's 5-star splash art.
"We can see that the designer clearly poured a great deal of thought and effort into Wende."
As she spoke, Sister Guoguo zoomed in on Wende's nearly bare chest.
"Apologies, excuse me. My mouse's machine spirit seems unable to contain its excitement! It… it's trembling! It's trembling uncontrollably!"
Sister Guoguo's mouse cursor darted all over Wende's pectoral muscles, as if licking them.
"Mouse! Calm yourself! That is Yifu! Your respected Yifu! You must control the vain lust in your heart!"
After properly placating her mouse cursor, Sister Guoguo resumed her introduction of Wende's splash art for the audience.
"The first thing that catches the eye, besides this pair of pecs that exude a sense of security, is this striking ink-wash style robe, reminiscent of black mountains and white clouds."
"The flowing robe is draped loosely on his body, and the ink-wash color palette adds a sense of spiritual grace, while also being ancient and stylish. Paired with Wende's handsome face, it can't help but remind me of the scholars and literary figures of old, as well as the generals who fought on the battlefield. Wende feels like a combination of them all…"
After discussing his attire, Sister Guoguo focused the rest of her commentary on the longsword in Wende's hand.
"The sword is known as the gentleman among weapons, and Wende fits the image of a graceful gentleman perfectly. However, the sword in his hand is no so-called gentleman's sword."
"The style of Wende's sword is modeled after the four-sided Han Dynasty sword, but its length and width have been increased, giving it very balanced proportions. This avoids the awkward sight of a muscular man wielding a tiny dagger."
"Furthermore, there are two swords in the splash art, with completely opposite color schemes. One has a white hilt and a black blade; the other has a black hilt and a white blade. This should correspond with Wende's 5-star Yin-Yang theme."
"And finally, the most crucial part of any miHoyo character design. Let's look at Wende's lower body."
Sister Guoguo highlighted Wende's lower half.
"I mean, seriously… what is your obsession with leg straps?! You have a perfectly fine pair of white pants, and you just have to hang a black silk scarf on it. I admit the little Yin-Yang fish hanging from it is nice, but designer! Can you please show us some taste for once?!?!"