At this moment, in the courtyard outside the library, the leaves swayed gently in the warm midday breeze, rustling softly. The girl's crisp voice echoed in Lu Kang's ear, making him pause. He stared blankly at the princess's suddenly close face, at her flushed but deliberately stubborn expression, and at the hidden slyness and regret in her eyes.
She regretted it. The moment the words left her mouth, Her Highness Anastasia felt regret. Because she felt Lu Kang's gaze change the instant he looked at her. His eyes suddenly became hot, so hot it felt like they could melt a person... and she felt she was about to melt in them. But her regret was not fear. It was not terror. It was just shyness, unparalleled shyness. What am I doing? she thought to herself. It feels like I drank two glasses of fake wine, and in my drunkenness, I did something I always wanted to do but never dared. When I sobered up, all I could say was that I regretted it.
But what's done is done, what's the use of regret? And since she had said it, the princess didn't want to admit defeat. She convinced herself this was just a prank. Though her pranks on Lu Kang always ended in failure, she never admitted defeat, she would only 'try again'! It was like that before, and it had to be like that now!
So, although her heart was filled with shame, Anastasia still forced herself to hold on tighter, wrapping her slender arms even more forcefully around the youth's neck. She pushed her chest out against his, and lifted her legs higher, so that her slender body was completely nestled in his embrace. She felt shy. He must be shy too. That's what the princess thought. So as long as I make him feel embarrassed first, then I win... That's what the princess believed.
Unfortunately for her—she had underestimated Lu Kang's 'thick skin'.
[You see the slyness and regret in the princess's eyes. You know this was a prank born of impulse. Now she regrets it, but she can only bite the bullet and continue the 'prank'.]
[You think to yourself that your assessment of her was not wrong—no, not only not wrong, but you had underestimated her. What kind of dense girl would practically deliver herself to your doorstep like this?]
Would Lu Kang feel shy? Counting this simulated life, he had already lived three lives: once as an ordinary person, once as a magus, and once as a 'priest' tainted by heresy. Though living a long time doesn't necessarily make one mature, with enough experience, he could calmly handle most unexpected situations.
So at this moment, he just calmly looked at the girl in his arms. Calmly, he reached out his hand. In an instant, his palm was on the princess's slender waist. The princess was instantly stunned. She finally couldn't take it anymore...
'Insolent! Rude!'
[You heard her stammer.]
[Leaving behind these words, Anastasia, in an instant, broke free from your embrace and fled in embarrassment.]
[Just like the first time you met, when she discovered your identity, she fled. But even at the very end, what she showed was not fear, but shyness.]
[You feel the girl's presence still lingering in the air. You watch her窈窕 (graceful/slender) back as she flees in embarrassment.]
[You recall the wonderful feeling of the embrace just now, and you can't help but feel a surge of happiness.]
[You understand very well that after spending so much time together, the princess has long since developed feelings for you. Your emotional intelligence is not low; you can sense this.]
[And how could you not feel the same?]
[But watching the girl's flustered back disappear into the greenery at the end of the courtyard square, you do not turn back to the library. You still stand outside the door, feeling the breeze, because you know... she will be back.]
Sure enough. In less than ten minutes, at the end of Lu Kang's line of sight, from between the plants at the edge of the courtyard square, that silver-white head and a delicate, lovely face peeked out again.
Anastasia hid there, watching secretly. She seemed to have calmed down a bit, her shyness and agitation subsiding. But when she met his smiling eyes from afar, she couldn't help but blush again. He saw me, she thought. But she also felt inexplicably happy—happy that he hadn't returned to the library, happy that he seemed to still be waiting for her. Since that was the case...
The girl lifted her skirt and walked over. "S-Since you waited for me here... I'll forgive you for your rudeness just now!" Anastasia once again stood before Lu Kang, putting on an act. But for some reason, even though she was a real princess, her words sounded more like the posturing of an ordinary little girl.
Her posture made Lu Kang want to laugh. And so he did. He laughed quite happily.
Anastasia went from being dazed to annoyed, and then, for some reason, she started laughing too. They looked at each other and laughed. A happy and relaxed laugh.
The princess thought to herself that His Eminence Lu Kang was always so magical. Magically able to make people let go of their anxieties, magically able to make people feel joy and peace. She wasn't 'angry' anymore. But the words she had just said seemed to be brewing in her heart, becoming her true feelings. She genuinely wanted him to take responsibility—to 'take responsibility' for offending the noble princess!
...
In September of 1913, I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Kremlin palace. The life of the royal court in the late Tsarist empire presented a rather strange phenomenon. On one hand, the domestic situation was becoming increasingly severe; on the other, there was a harmonious family atmosphere. I had been to the palaces of the upper classes in many countries before, but even in the most prosperous nations, I had never encountered such an atmosphere. It was as if I had not walked into a hall symbolizing the supreme power of an empire, but into the home of a contented family.
If Nicholas II was the de facto leader of this family, then the other person living in the court at the time, Lu Kang Luvest, was its spiritual pillar. He seemed to stand on the clouds, yet also on the earth and in the dust. He was a saint, and also the most common of men. He was a holy man among commoners.
This is what I believed. And after that, I always took his existence as my philosophical guide. To the point that the news that came later was unbelievable to me—how could such a person do so many ferocious and cruel things?
—From "Late Life Memoirs, 1941, Berdyaev in Moscow"
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