Suddenly, someone burst out laughing uncontrollably behind me, their voice echoing through the grand hall like a wild hyena. I turned quickly, startled—and there stood a young man with tears in his eyes from laughing too hard, pointing at me like I was some walking comedy show.
"Oh gosh, you're embarrassing me!" Magnus groaned dramatically, dragging his palm down his face before quickly stepping forward. He grabbed my arm gently, like someone trying to guide a drunken friend offstage. "Come on, get up before you start dancing or something weird."
"Magnus," a sharp voice boomed like thunder from across the room.
We both froze.
Magnus stiffened instantly, like a guilty puppy caught chewing on a shoe.
"Y-Yes, Father?" he stammered, his voice jumping a whole octave higher than usual.
From the far side of the room, a tall, intimidating man in a dark military-style coat rose from an ornate chair. His gaze was sharp, cutting through the room like a blade. He eyed Magnus first, then me, his brows furrowing as if I were an alien lifeform.
"Who," he said slowly, voice dripping with suspicion, "is this woman?"
I swear Magnus gulped loud enough to echo.
"Uh-uhm... I... I picked her up in the forest?" Magnus offered like a kid explaining how a stray dog followed him home.
His father blinked once. Then twice. His stern expression shifted unexpectedly into something softer concerned, even pitying. He took a slow step forward, eyes locking onto me with such tenderness it threw me off completely.
"I'm sorry, my child," he said solemnly, voice now filled with sympathy. "Did Magnus... do something to you?"
My eyes widened.
"W-What?!" Magnus shrieked, nearly falling over. "No! Father, I'm not like that! Like, seriously, what's wrong with you people?!"
He looked around wildly like the furniture might back him up.
The dramatic tension was too much. I decided to turn it into a performance.
I suddenly slumped my shoulders, sniffled, and made my lower lip tremble like a seasoned soap opera actress.
I turned my teary puppy eyes up to the father and whimpered,
"Y-Yes... he just grabbed me out of nowhere..." I glanced at Magnus with a sly smirk only he could see, then quickly wiped it away and replaced it with a trembling pout.
Magnus's face exploded into a mix of horror and betrayal.
"What the—?! Don't believe her, she's faking! She's mocking me!" he pointed furiously, but it only made him look guiltier.
His father shot him a disapproving glare.
I let out a dramatic gasp and started fake-crying into my hands, peeking at Magnus through my fingers and wiggling my eyebrows.
"I swear she was barefoot when I found her!" Magnus pleaded. "I was trying to help her!"
"Don't listen to him," I whispered to his father, barely hiding my grin. "He said if I didn't come with him, he'd do something."
Magnus looked like he was about to combust.
The father nodded solemnly, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. "You're safe now, dear. We'll take care of you. Magnus, go sit in the corner and think about what you've done."
"WHAT HAVE I DONE?!" Magnus shouted, exasperated as he dramatically threw his hands in the air.
Magnus was practically steaming as he slumped into the oversized armchair like a deflated balloon. Arms crossed. Lips pursed. Eyebrows scrunched so tightly they could knit socks.
He turned away from us dramatically, mumbling under his breath like a grumpy teenager grounded from sword practice.
His father let out a sigh, turning to one of the guards.
"Prepare a room for the young lady. She must be exhausted from all the... distress."
"I rescued her," Magnus muttered just loud enough for everyone to hear. "She was throwing twigs at a squirrel and talking to mushrooms. You're all acting like I dragged her here with a sack over her head."
I stifled a laugh, covering my mouth with both hands as I pretended to cough. The sound came out more like a muffled wheeze, but I played it off.
When Magnus shot a glare at me from the corner of his eye, I gave him a mock-innocent look.
"Your allergies acting up, child?" his father asked me kindly.
I nodded solemnly. "Yes, I think I'm allergic to ungrateful saviors with dramatic eyeliner."
"IT'S NOT EYELINER!" Magnus barked, whipping around in his seat. "It's a warrior's shadow! It's tradition!"
"Sure," I said sweetly. "Warrior of dramatic fashion."
He mocked my dress now I'm gonna mock his
His father tilted his head. "You know, she's not wrong."
"Father!"
The sulking continued through dinner. Magnus sat at the end of the table, stabbing at his roasted vegetables like they'd personally offended him.
Every time the servants brought out a new dish, he looked up with hopeful eyes—only to have the best portions set in front of me instead.
"I see the young lady likes the honey-glazed pheasant," his father remarked.
"It's literally my favorite," Magnus whispered in despair, watching me take a bite.
I moaned dramatically, just to mess with him. "Oh wow... it's tender and sweet. This is amazing."
Magnus groaned and dropped his fork. "This is character assassination. I brought her here and now I'm the villain in my own castle."
"I think you're just salty," I said, lifting the salt shaker and pretending to bless him with it like holy water. "There. Fixed."
His father chuckled. "Magnus, I haven't seen someone roast you this thoroughly since you challenged your cousin to a dance battle at your sister's banquet."
"That was a strategic defeat!" Magnus insisted. "I slipped on the rug!"
Magnus slumped in his seat again, pulling his cloak up like a blanket over his head. "Wake me up when the humiliation ends."
"Don't worry," I whispered across the table. "It's eternal."
Even his father laughed at that, shaking his head with a fond smile. "She has spirit. I like her."
"Of course you do," Magnus muttered from under his cloak. "You always adopt the ones who bully me."