I don't think people understand how stressful it is to explain what's going on in your brain when you don't even understand it yourself... and yet l really would love to talk to certain people but I'm to afraid that i will annoy them and that they will run away from me or worse that they dont even care. So l will continue to sit in my room and I will drown in my own thoughts.
I wish someone would notice and would come and help me to find out how to get better again. I know it's just a stupid wish because no one is willing or able to take that amount of time that it would take to help me, but I think the worst part is that l can't do it alone and I also can't ask someone for help. And all these storys about these magical people who just know what they are supposed to do, I start thinking they don't exist, but if they do I Would really need one now, because sometimes i disappear when I'm lonely and Ineed someone with a rope bringing me back to reality..I usually deal with my own problems alone and I automatically distance myself from everyone once i feel sad and tired for some reasons.
i don't ask for help that often, Even from my close friends, Because I don't want to be burden to them. Besides, I don't know how to ask for help. So I just disappear and fix my self, then return once I feel better. Some people think I'm too aloof and being too distance from them, but that's just who I am and I badly want them to understand that..