"That damn boss! He dumped a ton of work on me and then just went off to sleep!"
"Welcome to America."
These are two employees from a nearby company, just regular people.
Sigh "I really want to quit... I want to do a job I actually love, not keep doing this crap while my soul gets drained day by day..."
"Not me... Job applications already haunt me enough as it is..."
Both of them sighed. Complaining—what good would it do, anyway?
Boom!
An explosion erupted on the rooftop of a nearby skyscraper, startling everyone, including the two employees, who turned their heads in shock.
Then, a stray bullet shot straight toward one of them.
In an instant, the bullet stopped right in front of his forehead.
He collapsed to the ground, sweating, eyes locked on the bullet that nearly took his life.
"W-what the hell just happened?!"
The two of them then noticed a strand of spider silk attached to the back of the bullet, which was suddenly yanked away—straight into the hand of a young man crouching nearby.
"Close one, huh, buddy? I'm pretty sure that bullet scared the life out of you."
"W-who are you?!" the other one asked.
"Me? I'm just a poor neighbor begging for scraps. Now, if you don't mind, could you two get out of here?"
"Huh??"
Suddenly, a barrage of gunfire rang out. The crouching young man leapt into the air, dodging the bullets with ease.
The civilians, seeing the chaos unfold, fled the scene in panic—much to Peter's relief. He exhaled quietly.
"Stop hiding, Spider-Gwen!"
"I already told you I'm not her, man! Do I look like a girl to you?" I snapped, just as another bullet flew straight at me.
"A spider's still a spider—and I hate spiders! So die, Spider-Gwen!!"
"Ugh, stubborn much..."
I shot a web nearby and swung up onto a wall.
'This guy's got solid stealth—barely lost track of him for a second and he's already vanished'. I scanned the surroundings, noticing more bullets whizzing toward me.
My spider-sense was pulling its weight, letting me feel every threat heading my way, almost like they were glowing in the dark.
But the downside? I couldn't pinpoint the shooter.
I could ask the Outer God inside me to upgrade the sense…
…but relying on that thing—especially when that "thing" is The Crawling Chaos—is a pretty damn bad idea.
I jumped again, dodging the incoming bullets as they smashed into a nearby window.
Bang! Bang!
The bullets shattered the glass, sending shards flying everywhere.
And of course, because misfortune loves anyone named Peter Parker, a chunk of that glass lodged itself right through my hoodie and cut into my skin.
"Ouch! Are you kidding me?!"
"Jackpot! This time I'm aiming straight for your head, Spider-Gwen!"
"If you can hit it, my dear friend!"
I shot a web up to a higher rooftop and quickly scaled it.
The criminal—Spider Killer—squinted, trying to look up, but the sunlight blinded him.
[What's wrong? Can't handle a puny bug like him?] the Outer God whispered in my head.
"I'm just not used to my powers yet," I muttered, "but I think I've figured out how to deal with him."
[Oh? Then get to it already. I'm not in the mood to wait.]
Bit by bit, my body began to fade, blending into the environment until I completely vanished from sight.
He couldn't see me anymore.
"Damn it, he ran off!" Spider Killer growled, kicking a nearby rock in frustration.
'The cops'll be here any minute. Gotta get out of here—fast.'
Just as he turned to leave, a shadow beneath him slowly began to grow larger...
"Huh?"
Confused, he looked up at the sky.
WHAM!
A powerful kick slammed straight into his face, sending him stumbling back in pain—his cloaking finally short-circuiting and revealing his true form.
"W-what?! How did you find me?!" he shouted, stunned.
"Take a better look at the sky, my friend," I said calmly.
He instinctively glanced upward—and froze.
"W-why the hell is there a spiderweb in the sky?!"
"Heh, fighting idiots is always easier. You really thought I ran away already?"
"Answer me! Why did you make a web up there?!"
"Well, since you were hiding your presence so well, I climbed the tallest rooftops and spun a massive web in the air. Its shadow blocked the sunlight—except for your spot, which stayed just as bright. That gave you away."
"Lucky for me, the web's thin enough, and the sun's blazing hot today, so you didn't even notice the shadow stretching right over you."
The criminal clenched his teeth. He hated being outsmarted. He really hated being beaten.
"Don't think taking me down means you've won!" he snarled, pulling out a flash bomb, yanking the pin, and hurling it into the sky.
BOOM!
"Now's my chance!"
Blinded by the flash, he tried to run, pushing through the pain racking his body.
"Hmm… maybe I should get a flash bomb too. Kinda effective."
Two strands of web shot out and snagged both his legs, yanking them out from under him and sending him crashing to the ground.
"W-What?! But I used a flash bomb!!"
"Buddy, I'm human. I just shut my eyes the moment I saw you toss it. My eyesight's good enough to tell what you were throwing."
"I won't accept this! No, I won't accept this!!!"
"You're acting just like the god in my head right now," I muttered. "Just give it up already."
"NO NO NO NOOOOO!!!"
"…"
I sighed, walked up to him, and crouched down right in front of his face.
"I gave you the easy way out and you didn't take it. That's a shame."
For some reason, those calm words felt deeply threatening to him.
"W-What do you mean by that—"
***
Within minutes, the police arrived.
And… well… what they saw in the middle of New York City was nothing short of horrifying.
"I'M SORRYYYYY, PLEASE LET ME GOOOOO!!"
The criminal was hanging completely nude, his arms and legs webbed tightly and spread out in full display—his nuts dangling shamelessly for the entire world to see.
To top it off, scribbled across his stomach in bold black marker were the words:
I like men. Please text me. Here's my number—call me!
"Umm… Chief, any idea who did this?" an officer asked awkwardly.
"I don't know," the chief muttered, rubbing his temples, "but I can already see the headlines... and none of them are good for us."
Meanwhile, I stood perched atop a nearby rooftop, smiling as the criminal screamed like a banshee in public shame.
[Wow… I think I made the right choice picking you. I can feel the pure fear radiating off that guy. Good job, my boi!]
"Oh, maybe being a hero isn't that stressful after all," I chuckled, firing a webline and swinging off into the city.