If Itachi thought his morning was surreal, the afternoon decided to raise the stakes. Nami's "help" came with a cost—one that started with an innocent promise of a map, and ended with him hauling crates behind a dango stand.
"You work, you get the map," Nami declared, counting berry notes with the precision of a Shogi master. "Simple, right?"
Itachi glanced at the crowd of hungry, loud pirates snaking down the street. Somehow, his crows had become a tourist attraction. Kids lined up to toss breadcrumbs. Elderly ladies bowed for blessings. A marine captain in disguise nervously requested an autograph, only to faint when Itachi stared at him too long.
"Is this necessary?" Itachi asked, arms folded.
Nami's eyes sparkled with yen signs. "You're the most profitable bodyguard I've ever had. Now—smile for the customers."
Itachi didn't smile, but his presence was enough. Word spread fast: the infamous Crow King was working at the dango shop. By midday, the line wrapped around Orange Town twice, and marines were ordering dango "to go," not daring to look him in the eye.
That's when Sanji arrived, balancing a crate of produce, suit immaculate, cigarette dangling from his lip. He stopped cold at the scene: Nami bossing, Itachi brooding, crows hopping on the counter.
Sanji's eyes blazed with outrage—and, if anyone looked closely, a bit of competitive panic.
"Nami-swan, what's going on here? Who let the brooding scarecrow into my kitchen?!"
Nami grinned. "He's our new employee. He brings customers. You bring… bills."
Sanji's eyebrow twitched. "He's scaring away real patrons! The flavor of the dango is everything. If you want real taste, you need a real chef—like me!"
Itachi stared, unimpressed. "I have no interest in cooking."
Sanji cracked his knuckles. "Then let's settle this—Cooking Duel. My dish versus yours. Winner gets Nami's favor for the day. Loser cleans the kitchen for a week."
Nami, ever the opportunist, clapped her hands. "And if the Crow King wins, he gets the map."
Sanji tossed his hair. "Like that'll ever happen."
The word spread instantly—Straw Hat Sanji vs. the Crow King, cook-off of the century. Townsfolk, pirates, and a few marines in bad wigs crowded the dango shop. The pressure rose like steam.
Sanji fired up the wok, knives a blur, vegetables and seafood dancing in midair. The crowd swooned at the aroma.
Itachi, meanwhile, stood motionless, staring at a pot of plain rice. He had never cooked a day in his life—unless "making soldier pills" counted.
Sanji plated his masterpiece: golden tempura, perfect rice, a sprinkle of seaweed. "Voilà! Now, your turn, rookie."
Itachi stared at his rice. A crow pecked it skeptically.
He made a single hand sign—subtle, almost imperceptible. The Mangekyo Sharingan flickered. For a split second, the entire audience—including Sanji—was caught in a gentle, beautiful illusion.
To them, Itachi's rice became a feast fit for the Sea Kings: colors more vivid, scent intoxicating, flavors layered with secret meaning. In their minds, one bite sent them to paradise.
Sanji, first to taste, fell to his knees. "Impossible… this is… the most delicious thing I've ever tasted! The texture… the umami! Teach me, sensei!"
The crowd wept openly. Nami started auctioning plates of Itachi's "miracle rice" for triple price. Marines scribbled recipes furiously.
But in the real world, the "dish" remained a bowl of plain, cold rice, half-eaten by a crow.
Chopper, peering in through the window, was the only one not fooled. "Wait… isn't that just…?"
He tugged Nami's sleeve. "Isn't that just rice?"
The illusion faded. The audience blinked, confused, clutching their stomachs.
Sanji, on the floor, realized the truth. He leaped up, wild-eyed. "You cheated! You cast some… some flavor genjutsu!"
Itachi met his outrage with cool indifference. "True taste is in the mind."
Nami, unbothered, handed Itachi the map. "A deal's a deal. Besides, the shop made more money today than all last month. You two should duel more often."
Sanji, grumbling, swept rice off the floor, vowing to "train his palate until not even a genjutsu could trick him." The crowd dispersed, but the legend only grew: the Crow King could defeat master chefs with his mind alone.
Later, as the sun set over Orange Town, Zoro wandered past, still lost. Usopp tried to one-up Itachi's "tragic past" with a wild lie about giant goldfish, only for Itachi's glare to reduce him to tears.
Luffy, watching from afar, grinned with sparkles in his eyes. "He's super cool! I want him on my crew!"
Itachi found a rooftop, crows settling around him. He glanced at the crude map, the chaos below, and the line of seagulls perched like sentinels.
Once again, he sighed,"This world… is stranger than Tsukuyomi."
But for the first time, he almost smiled.