I knew Eve thought I was being ridiculous, I did to. I was doing the correct thing, just doing it incorrectly and as a result I was less adult that was mildly annoyed and more angsty teen in skinny jeans.
"In the name of the world, why did she have to say that." I muttered to myself as I stomped down the stairs before bursting through the front door of the cabin.
"Oooo, you remind me of dad when he got a little bit mad." Celesael said without moving from her couch nest, making me step back to respond.
"Why do I get the feeling that it isn't a bloody compliment?" The response was laughter, which made me slightly madder and huff.
"Where are you going like that?" Astrael asked as I made for the mountains.
"To have a soak and forget you all exist for a while, luckily with my memory it shouldn't be difficult." I then went into max output, which was considerably stronger than I remembered and as a result tripped over my own feet and ended up skipping like stone on water... except on the hard ground.
I tried to focus to stop myself, but with every impact bones broke and had to be repaired, then I finally came to a stop when I hit the next mountain over from where I wanted to be. Healing myself as I stood, before punching the mountain out of frustration.
The punch was satisfying, the hard prehistoric rock of the Pangean mountain range which was lined with some of the hardest metamorphic materials of the age. "Not bad... In fact, this might be the closest thing I have ever found to a decent punching bag." The mountain was struck with blow after blow, sending booms like thunder rumbling across the plains.
With every punch, skin split, joints popped and bones shattered yet by the time I'd thrown the next and repositioned for the follow-up the arm was healed completely. It was insane how fast I was healing, I wanted to study it more, but no.
"I came for a soak, not self-mutilation." I turned and headed for the hot spring, I went into the cabin first, grabbed some water, then stripped and stepped into the water.
The water was incredible, our condition must have been worse than we thought if we let it go so unappreciated.
Thinking back to our earlier soak and how I got to be there that time inevitably made me think of Eve, I was surprised at how quickly those thoughts became crude but I guessed all those basest emotions were only a step away from each other; Love, Hate, Anger, Joy.
The thought was confusing, but rang accurate. When people were in love, they angered easily, felt joy more easily and annoyance at certain things could become hate more easily.
Eve was a master of emotions, empathic talents aside she used and controlled them like an artist does paint or writer does words.
I was in terms of the way they affected a person's thoughts and behaviours, but in terms of actually feeling them? I was a novice and an inept one at that.
"My love, you are far too hard on yourself." Eve's arms slithered over my shoulders and down across my chest as her soft lips touched and tickled the back of my neck.
"No, I was too hard on yo-"
"No. You weren't. You have a right to feel however something makes you feel. Your emotions are yours and yours alone. Do you want to know the truth of them, the one that all empaths know but never speak, the one that makes us marry the ones we love in such short time, the one that turns us from might deva into Auntie Astra?"
"What's that?"
"Emotions are selfish by nature. they are the one thing we have that can't be controlled. People try as you know best of all, with magic in times like these and those damned machines in times like yours, but they're sloppy obstacles at best."
"If they are selfish then why do I feel bad for sulking."
"Hmph..." She grunted. "As you know I don't like telling others how they feel, but... If you must know, it's because you want to, because you want things to go back to normal and hold your wife and daughter and laugh with our friends and family. Though for the life of me I can't imagine why you feeling like you're about to die aroused you."
"That's natural I swear.... I think.... It would explain why the barracks back then were like a brothel some nights,"
"... And do pray-tell how you know what a brothel is like."
"They are good places to pick-up information and will take secrets to the grave if you pay well for it. In one time the brothels were all under the spy administration of the, damn what was it again? The Fellgrow Administration or something."
"How intimate did you get with these spies in order to get that information?"
"Close enough to get the information and not catch anything vulgar. They were good spies but the kinds of people I hated dealing with. Only two worlds did I truly feel no shame in burning that one and my own."
"Me think though doth protest too much."
"Though can thinketh what she will. I hated that world with a passion, back stabbing, sacrifices, murder, things far more repugnant. It only took ten years for me to judge that world. They were the ones I mentioned that summoned the Aspect rank. Thank god they didn't do it too soon."
"Stop it. Your not being yourself."
"I am Eve, I am. I can forgive a lot, you saw it yourself when I forgave everything that I thought that god was responsible for. That world though, you can't imagine the atrocities I witnessed... No, you're right, that world deserved it's fate, it deserves to be forgotten to."
Eve sighed, she hadn't heard me talk about one of those worlds since I became whole, trembling and certainty that I felt made her shiver as though touching ice.
"My love, will you ever do things like that again?"
"I will if a world like that comes along again, I won't let my wife and children so much as breathe air that may have touched people like that."
"If you do, I will stand by your side." She slipped into the water as she spoke, still fully dressed, fabric clinging to her.
"You will do no such thing."
"Yes. I will. I want you to remember that, a little nudge to help keep your head clear of the darkness I just felt. Some emotional blackmail to make us even. If you wish to judge an entire world in future, you will have to make sure a guilty verdict is worth bloodying my hands to. I will trust your judgement completely."
"I can't exactly argue with you." I kissed her. "Besides, with you in front me I wouldn't waste my time looking past you."
"Hmm? You know I am actually a little offended myself right now."
"Sorry, I don't know why, but I'm sorry."
"Well, earlier... You were a little disappointed when alone time wasn't alone time. Yet now, here we are. You, naked, me, soaked through, stradling you as before and I don't even get a twitch. I should either be offended or more concerned, which is it?"
"Concerned, I love you Eve, but I'm thinking about things that are poison for the mind. Just hold me a while and clear those thoughts away, until time can bury them deep enough that they can't be dug up."
"Well... with your memory we should have some time to spare."
"Then we can just make sure they are cleared well away. I may have had other ideas for a moment, but, well, I think you forgot about the metal buckling on your dress... It's been catching that part of me you wanted to twitch since you sat on me."
Eve tried to move suddenly, but I hugged her tight to stop her before moving a hand down to solve the issue myself, then slumping back as I took a breath of relief. Then pulled her against me again, kissing her as I began to relax and sink into the water.
"Damn. We're out of time." Eve huffed after checking my time piece. "I said I'd bring you back in twenty minutes for movie time, we only have five left before we have to head back."
"Don't take this the wrong way, but I wasn't really in the mind for anything else tonight, my desire is to spend time with my wife and daughter. I do have something for you to pee on though." My words definitely required far more elaboration than I thought to initially offer.
"Love... No. That is all I am going to say."
"Shut up." I thought about dunking her in the water for jumping to that conclusion but decided against it. "You wanted the implant which would do the same thing as this passively, this is a grosser method yes, but also less surgery and no need for a removal spike."