Lin Fan, now in a fresh robe he borrowed from the restaurant's back storage after spilling soup on himself, sat hunched over his bowl.
His hair was wet, thanks to an earlier "accidental" water spill caused by Mu Qianxue flicking her cup just a bit too hard.
Across from him, Hei Long was the center of attention.
Bai Luoluo leaned slightly forward, genuinely curious.
"So wait, you're saying if I adjust the pressure core inside the bolt chamber, it'll stabilize the recoil?"
Hei Long nodded.
"Exactly. Otherwise, your shots will veer to the right after five rounds."
Even the Saintess was impressed.
"You know quite a bit about weapon refining for someone who doesn't carry one."
Hei Long just gave a humble smile and dipped a dumpling into sauce.
"I dabble."
Lin Fan stared down at his own dumpling, which had somehow slipped into his tea, bloated and sad.
'Boy,' the old man inside his head finally groaned.
'You promised. Remember? You were going to take life seriously. Cultivate. Improve. Focus.'
"I am focusing," Lin Fan whispered through gritted teeth.
"You say something?" Mu Qianxue asked, raising an eyebrow.
Lin Fan jolted upright, coughing awkwardly.
"N-Nothing! Just thinking how dumb it is that people think Hei Long's smart just because he knows a few things."
Hei Long raised an eyebrow mid-bite. "Oh?"
Lin Fan suddenly slammed his chopsticks down. "I challenge you!"
The whole table went quiet.
"To a duel?" Bai Luoluo asked dryly.
"You sure you want to lose more teeth?"
Lin Fan shook his head. "To an arm wrestling match!"
"...Huh?" Hei Long looked mildly amused.
Mu Qianxue sipped her drink.
"This'll be good."
'You're seriously doing this now? This is how you're proving yourself?' the old man deadpanned.
'Boy, you are beyond help.'
"No one asked you, old man," Lin Fan muttered as he rolled up his sleeve and slammed his elbow on the table.
"Come on, Hei Long! Unless you're scared."
Hei Long sighed and set down his drink. "Fine."
He casually rolled up his sleeve, revealing a deceptively lean arm.
He placed his elbow down and gripped Lin Fan's hand. "You sure about this?"
"Just go!" Lin Fan barked.
Mu Qianxue raised her hand. "Three... Two... One—Go!"
Lin Fan pushed with all his might. His face turned red. A vein popped in his forehead.
Hei Long just sat there, blinking, letting Lin Fan flail for a solid ten seconds before gently pushing his hand down like he was lowering the lid on a pot.
THWACK.
Lin Fan's knuckles slammed into the table, shaking every cup and bowl.
Everyone stared.
Hei Long smiled politely.
"You have a... unique technique."
Lin Fan yanked his hand back, massaging his wrist. "I—I let you win! Obviously!"
'Let him—boy, I'd slap you if I had a body.' the old man grumbled. 'And then slap you again for lying to yourself.'
The chicken beast on Lin Fan's shoulder pecked his ear like it agreed.
Bai Luoluo snorted into her cup.
"Maybe you should arm wrestle your chicken next. That's your level."
Mu Qianxue clinked her drink to Hei Long's. "To our undefeated champion."
The Saintess smiled faintly and raised her glass as well.
Lin Fan hunched over his soup again, muttering darkly, "One day... One day..."
The chicken beast pecked his bun and stole it.
As the group finished their meal, laughter and teasing still echoed from their table, especially toward Lin Fan, who had somehow managed to spill soup on himself twice and lost an arm wrestling match to Hei Long in front of everyone.
Now, they were all parting ways beneath the glow of the hanging lanterns that lit up the sect's dining district.
"See you tomorrow!" Bai Luoluo waved, still chuckling as she walked off with the other two who barely acknowledged Lin Fan at all.
Soon, it was just Hei Long and Lin Fan, walking side by side in silence.
Lin Fan sighed loudly, his shoulders slouched.
"Tch... I'll prove myself soon enough," he muttered.
Hei Long raised a brow. "You've been saying that for the past..."
"Shut up," Lin Fan snapped. "I'm serious this time. The old man in my head even said he's gonna help me now!"
'That's because I was forced to,' the old voice inside him muttered flatly. 'I swear, if I had a body, I'd be halfway across the continent by now.'
As they passed a brightly lit street corner, a building with flashy pink spirit lights caught their attention.
The sign read:
"Mystic Moon Pavilion – Soul Massage & Dao Enlightenment for Discerning Gentlemen"
Dozens of inner disciples loitered around, whispering and nudging each other as they eyed the entrance like nervous rabbits.
Hei Long tilted his head and smirked.
"Oh? If you're that desperate for female attention, maybe you should give it a shot. Who knows? Maybe one of them will 'dual cultivate' your ego back into shape."
Lin Fan blinked. "You think I should go in?"
Hei Long blinked back. "...Wait. I was joking—"
But it was too late.
Lin Fan had already puffed out his chest and strutted up to the entrance, wiping his robe sleeves dramatically.
"I'm gonna show you just how much of a man I am!"
'No, don't—!' the old man screamed internally.
The two pretty receptionists at the door smiled sweetly at Lin Fan.
"Welcome to the Mystic Moon Pavilion, dear cultivator. May we inquire as to your spirit stone budget?"
Lin Fan froze. "Budget...?"
A pause.
The receptionist's smile twitched.
"The lowest service tier is 500 spirit stones. That includes entry, a drink, and a basic Soul Massage."
Lin Fan slowly turned pale.
He patted his storage ring, then patted again, faster and faster. Nothing.
Hei Long leaned against a nearby post, arms crossed, utterly entertained.
"Didn't you just blow all your spirit stones losing bets on that rigged training dummy test last week?"
"I—I thought I'd win it all back!!" Lin Fan panicked.
"Sir," the receptionist cut in, "we also offer an installment plan, but... not to outer disciples."
Laughter erupted from some passing disciples.
"Is that Lin Fan?"
"What's he doing here?"
"Did he actually try to walk in without money?"
Lin Fan's face went red, then purple, then pale.
He backed away, clutching his robe like someone caught in the wrong bathroom.
Hei Long waved. "Come on, Brother Lin. I hear chickens don't do well in brothels."
"THAT'S A LOW BLOW!" Lin Fan shrieked.
As Hei Long strolled off laughing, Lin Fan stomped in the opposite direction, his pride dragging behind him like a corpse.
'...Next time, boy, ask me before humiliating both of us.'
"I was this close to dual cultivating..."
'With what? A bill?'