We both walked to a nearby lake. But… there are still so many things I'm confused about.
"Hey Tejas, why are you always alone? Do you have trouble making friends?"
"No, there isn't really a problem. I want to… but no one lets me,"
I said.
"It's not like that, I—I'm just a person who feels like a monster. I always start the fight first, and that's why I don't have any friends. After an incident in my childhood, I got too shy to show my face to anyone. I've been lonely for years, just keeping to myself… and eventually, I lost the few friends I had. Now I'm just like this…"
"It must be hard… but have you ever tried to make friends again? If you don't try, how will you ever know?"
She was right. I don't really talk to anyone like a friend, because no one will accept me. They only remember my past self…
"I haven't. And honestly, I don't think it'll work. They'll just see me how I used to be. I always get bullied… I start a fight and end up beaten by a group. That's just who I am…"
"Dumb. If you don't try, how will you know? At least try to be friendly once. Just once… try talking to your classmates."
"I guess… I could. But I'm afraid…"
"You can,"
she said.
She was too kind. Too motivational. And right now, she was the only person I could call a real friend.
Also… I was too curious about her.
"Sira, can you tell me how you came to know about the Place of Afterlife? And how your wish came true? Everything was so strange. If I hadn't seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn't believe it…"
"You really want to know how I found out?"
she asked. I nodded.
"Yes, I want to know… why you water your tree daily. And your grandma's tree. And your mother's."
"In my family, we plant a tree whenever a new baby is born. Just like my grandma did, my mother did, and I did too. We take care of our trees… because we believe they are a piece of our soul growing with us. Even after death, we will still be a part of each other through those trees. And also… we believe in taking care of nature. That's why I water my tree daily—it's a part of me. A part of my soul I have to protect."
Her words were something else. She was speaking about her tree as if it was… literally her soul.
"It was when I was five… I was broken. I loved my grandmother too much. But she was no more…"
I was a little lost. I don't know how to comfort someone in a situation like this.
"I'm sorry, Sira. If this makes you sad, it's okay—you don't have to tell me about the wish mystery…"
"No, don't worry. I'm fine,"
she said.
"It was some years after my grandma passed. I was completely broken—not just because I had lost my legs, but because of how I was treated at school and everywhere. People tagged me as someone who used my disability as an advantage. Even if I acted kind, they thought it was fake innocence to get my way."
"I was crying under my grandma's tree, regretting everything, telling her how I'd been these past few days. I had completely lost the will to live. Then… a wind blew. A peacock feather touched my eyes and flew into the air. When I opened my eyes, I found myself in the Place of Faith. I followed one of the glowing peacock feathers… and it gave me hope to live again."
"Then, a bright light flashed… and I was in the Afterlife. I saw my grandma there, for the first time in years. I hugged her. I cried. I laughed. I was so happy. And my grandma told me… that if I wished for something under her tree on her birthday, the wish would come true."
"And that's when I wished for my legs to recover. And now, you can see—I can walk, I can run. I'm completely normal,"
she explained.
It was honestly wonderful. And unimaginable. A wish can come true—once a year—if wished under the tree.
"You know… I'm so happy I can make a wish too. My grandma's birthday is coming in one month. I'll be able to wish something in a few days… It's exciting, right?"
She looked so happy.
But… she said she could wish every year. That means her grandma is still not in this world. So why didn't she wish for her grandma to come back?
"Sira, I want to ask something. If you really loved your grandma that much… why didn't you wish for her to come back to life?"
"Hmm… I actually did try to wish for that the first time. But my grandma refused. She told me she's tired of living. And that she's happy in the afterlife. So… I didn't want to take away her happiness."
"Oh… I can understand."
I hesitated, but I really wanted to know.
"Sorry for asking too many questions. But—were your legs paralyzed from birth or was it an accident?"
"Hmm… I was five years old, and I was normal. Cheerful, energetic, happy. And I had my grandma with me. But one day, when I was waiting for her after school, I saw her and ran toward her—ignoring the signal. A truck hit me. My grandma saw it happen… and she died of a heart attack. I had a surgery on my spine, and because of that injury, my legs were paralyzed."
"But after I made my wish, no one remembers I was ever paralyzed… except my family. Only people connected to the Place of Faith can know about it."
"Sira… did you run on your own, or… was there another reason?"
I was hesitant. "I mean, it's uncommon to run into the road alone."
"Ahh, you're too sensitive and smart, Tejas. No… I wasn't running on my own. A boy was chasing me with a caterpillar. That's why I ran…"
So it was because… of a boy.
"Sira… it was me."
I froze.
"I'm such a jerk. Stupid. A monster, even since I was a kid. I'm…"
"You mean… it was you? You knew I was paralyzed in the past? But how!? Only people connected to the tree should know!"
I stopped her.
"It was me, Sira. I caused your accident. I was the one running behind you. Your grandma died because of me…"
I was angry. Ashamed. Shy. Everything at once.
"Hey, Tejas. Don't blame yourself. It's okay. But… how do you even remember all of this? My grandma said no one remembers my paralysis except my mother and brother, so how…?"
She was confused. But still trying to comfort me. But why? Why would she try to comfort someone like me?
"Sira, I'm so sorry. I'm too ashamed. I'll just leave. I'll try not to show you my face again. I'm really ashamed of what I did. But… it is what it is."
Even when I finally had someone I could call a friend… I messed it up. Maybe this is what fate really is…
"Hey Tejas, just wait. I said I'm not angry…"
I don't get it. How can she be this cheerful and encouraging… even when the person who caused her the most pain is standing in front of her?
Her face. That innocent smile…
"Hey Tejas, just forget it. We can talk about something else! Like… what do you like in food? I'll cook it for you! But you'll have to try my experimental dish. Maybe you'll get diarrhea! Haha."
"Hey Sira…" I said.
"How can you be this cheerful and sarcastic… after all this? Do you even understand what happened to you because of me?"
But does saying all that really matter now?
After all, I've been like this since childhood… a nonsense child.
(Sira sat in silence. She remembered Tejas's words: "How can you be calm and sarcastic in this situation?" She stared into deep thought.)
"Don't follow me. I don't deserve your forgiveness…"
I just walked away, not knowing where I'd end up.
I left the place—head down, ashamed.