"Damn it! Arrgh! Damn it!"
I was curled up like a ball, my trembling arms wrapped tightly around my knees as I muttered a string of curses under my exhausted breath.
There wasn't anyone specific I was directing my anger at… just my own rotten luck.
"This can't be real! No way!" I shouted, yanking at my hair in overwhelming frustration.
Maybe I was drifting through the denial phase… but who could blame me?
It's not every day you find out you've become the enemy of the two people most officially and reliably ranked by global agencies as the strongest individuals on Earth.
I shook my head violently, as if trying to physically expel the thought from my mind.
"This is insane! Am I on the brink of death?"
Maybe it was all just a hallucination… a fever dream? A mental breakdown?
But it didn't feel like a dream. Every detail, every sensation, every pain… felt real. Unnervingly real.
If what happened was just a momentary lapse of sanity, that'd honestly be the best-case scenario. At least I'd have an excuse.
But I remember... I remember every second.
"How the hell could Zavrel Arkanor do something so catastrophically stupid?! Am I possessed… or just unbelievably idiotic?!"
I took a deep breath, trying to calm the avalanche of thoughts crashing through my head.
Sure, I'd often imagined acting with total freedom—no rules, no consequences…
But to go from imagining to actually doing it? To willingly place myself in direct opposition to Karyn Edmar, known as The Legend, and the esteemed Miss Veronica Eldrowyn?
This wasn't boldness. This was idiocy… on a continental scale.
Ugh… even remembering my actions left a bitter taste in my mouth.
What's done… is done. Regret was useless now. I had crossed the red line, and I was officially on the wrong side of this story.
How tragic… All those thrilling fantasies suddenly came true—only to explode into a disaster.
"Hah…" I exhaled through clenched teeth, trying to push away the swirling thoughts.
"Calm down. Think."
No use crying over it now.
No matter how chaotic the situation, survival begins with a clear mind.
I glanced at my wrist, detached the IV tube from my arm, then removed the medical pulse band wrapped around it.
My ribs screamed in pain as I rose from the bed, while the chill of the marble floor bit into my bare feet—reminding me, unmistakably, that I was awake… alive… and that pain was the proof that everything had truly happened.
A sudden wave of dizziness nearly dropped me the moment I stood upright.
It felt like I was waking up from a coma that had lasted a century.
With unsteady steps, I walked toward the nearest window.
My body felt disturbingly fragile and weightless.
Even though my bones had mended—thanks to a top-tier healer—the exhaustion, both physical and mental, clung to me… as if I had just fought a war.
And in a way, I had.
I slid open one of the glass panels. A gust of cold wind rushed in, slicing across my skin like an icy blade.
I stood there, gazing at the view outside…
Skyscrapers pierced the heavens, their peaks swallowed by thick, gray clouds.
Snow was falling gently, spreading its white mantle over the slumbering city nestled in December's arms.
I saw crowded streets below, and a few people drifting through the air.
But my eyes locked on the glowing barrier stretching across the horizon.
It was unimaginably massive—towering higher than any structure, wide enough to make it seem like the sky itself had split open to give birth to a wall of pure light.
That was the Safe Barrier surrounding the entire continent—or what was left of it—and no one was allowed to enter or leave without explicit authorization from the High Command or one of the Grand Regional Directors.
Even the sky above us... was sealed with a force field that only a rare few could break through.
Even this falling snow… only touched us because the Director of this region had permitted it.
And though dozens of cities stood between me and that barrier, it was still clear enough to see with my naked eyes—just as clearly as the towers that hemmed me in on all sides.
"What a sight," I murmured.
Then a strange thought occurred to me: "I wonder… does that glow ever bother those who live right next to it?"
I placed a hand on my chin, musing: "Possible…"
I let out a heavy sigh, returning to my dilemma: "Who cares about that now? The real problem… is still right in front of me."
At that moment, the corner of my eye caught my reflection in the windowpane.
And when I turned to face it, I saw long black hair falling messily over shoulders that had lost their posture—as if the pride that once defined them had vanished.
My features, once gifted by the Creator with a rare harmony, had lost their luster under the weight of neglect and exhaustion. I barely recognized them.
My athletic build had withered, melted away beneath an invisible burden. My stance sagged, as if my body could no longer bear the weight of itself.
And my once-striking blue eyes, famous for their layered intensity… had dulled. Faded. Now veiled in a sorrow and fatigue I couldn't conceal.
To make matters worse… there was that loose white gown. A single piece.
The standard uniform for patients in the unit I was now confined to.
A frail figure, in a colorless robe, standing with a defeated hunch before a cold sheet of glass.
I muttered in disbelief: "Is that… my reflection? Is that really me?"
Yes… it was.
Every movement I made echoed back instantly, confirming what I didn't want to accept.
"How shameful…" I whispered, turning my gaze away.
I hadn't always been like this.
I used to take care of myself.
The appearance mattered.
And my presence—my presence was strong. I knew that.
It was part of my strength. Naturally, you amplify what sets you apart… right?
But now?
I was just a ghost of who I used to be.
And all of this… because of one act. One rash, brutal, unforgivable act.
Not in private—no. In front of her, a girl of the highest standing I had ever known.
And in public?
Had I lost my mind?
Was there something wrong with me?
A hidden illness? A mental disorder?
Now that I think about it… maybe I should review the credentials of those healers who concluded I was mentally sound. They had to be wrong.
There's definitely something off.
Or… maybe I just don't want to admit this is who I truly am.
That, at the core, I was simply being myself?
Am I denying my own nature?
Am I… a fool by default?
Wait… what am I even thinking?
I'm not the type to show my true colors so easily.
So why did I do what I did?
Enough.
There's no point in spiraling like this. Time to return to reality.
"Yeah, focus, you idiot. Beating yourself up won't fix anything."
I shook my head, trying to break free from that black spiral, and began assessing the situation with a clear lens.
"Today is the twenty-sixth of December."
Less than a week left until the end of the year—or more importantly, until the entrance exam for the most elite branch of the global Aurixia Institute, the one I had applied to last month.
But that exam wasn't what worried me.
I was confident in my skills, my knowledge, the strengths I had built with my own hands.
I mean, if I'm not confident… who else would be?
But my real problem… was what came after I passed.