Leaving the pastry shop, I turned onto the main street and made my way to an intersection - to the right was the hospital, and to the left, a lively street in the northeast district. [ image ]

I glanced around quickly and froze, just like… Hinata, who was coming toward the intersection from the hospital side.
She glanced at my arm in a cast and gave a little huff.
"You again… what, got into another fight?" I nodded toward her bandaged fingers and wrists.
"It's from training." She waved her fingers. "Just a few small fractures. But how did you manage to break your arm?" she asked calmly, coming up to me with her arms crossed behind her back.
"Training, too." I shrugged.
"Really? Is that so?" She took a few steps to the side and spun around on her heel to face me. "Do you like sweets?"
Weird - don't Hyuga get those telltale changes when they activate the Byakugan? Like, bulging veins at the temples and their eyes changing color? I never noticed that with Hinata for some reason.
"Did I ever tell you that you act like a perv?" I quickly shielded my crotch with the shopping bags. Yeah, I admit, the same joke isn't funny after the third time, but seeing her calm mask crack… oh, that's just too good.
"How dare you… you jerk!" As soon as she found the right word, her blushing face snapped right back to that serious expression. "You know, if anyone heard you say that, you could get in serious trouble. Or even killed."
"Oh, so you're not just a cute girl with pretty eyes, but also the daughter of someone important?" I blinked a few times, looking at her in mock surprise.
Wow, I broke the local Hinata - someone bring me a new one.
"W-what are you even talking about?" She pressed her lips together after her question. At least she's not fainting, that's good. "And anyway, yes, I'm the Hyuga clan's hime, so show me some respect." She folded her arms in front of her chest, which promised to give Tsunade a run for her money in five years.
"Oh yeah? And what have YOU done to deserve my respect, or anyone else's?" I asked, genuinely curious. I stared at her face for a good five seconds, waiting for an answer. But watching her open her mouth and then close it again, I sighed in disappointment and turned to leave.
"Wait." Her voice, a little shaky, called out behind me.
"Is that an order from the oh-so-respected Hyuga hime, or a request?" I asked, tilting my head.
"My name is… Hinata." She tried to pull herself together, but judging by her awkward movements, she was a bit flustered and didn't even know how to stand or where to look.
"Hinata-sama? Hinata-san? Or should I call you…"
"No, just Hinata. You're right, I haven't done anything yet to deserve respect, so you can just call me by my name." Oh, she's adorable - kind of mad, but still trying to show her good side.
"Well then, just Hinata, you caught on to what I meant pretty quick - I respect that, so you can call me Akira-sama." She was smiling a little up until that last part, but as soon as I finished, her face twisted. "Hahaha…" I couldn't help but laugh, drawing a few stares from people passing by.
"I swear, I'll…"
"Hey, hey, you can't hit an injured guy." I raised my casted arm. "So, just Hinata, want to walk with me? I'm heading through the northwest district - isn't that where your clan's neighborhood is?"
"Stop calling me that." She clenched her fists. "And yes, I'll walk with you, but only because I like going home through the parks."
"Well, look at that - now we have two things in common." She looked surprised, and I gave my cast a little shake, glancing at her bandaged fingers.
****
"So, let me guess - you train every day until you're drenched in sweat, just to prove to your dad that you're strong and worthy of being the clan heir." I tossed out between bits of small talk.
"Not just to my father, but yeah, you're basically right. And you - you walk through the parks every evening and offer sweets to little girls, right?" Her question almost made me choke.
"No, this is a first for me, and I don't really look like some creepy guy handing out candy. Did your dad warn you about people like that?" Hinata, who turned out to have a sweet tooth, couldn't resist the chocolate pastries when I started eating them right in front of her on a park bench.
She'd come straight from hours of training at the hospital, and knowing how hungry Naruko gets after the academy, I could only imagine how much willpower it took for Hinata to refuse sweets twice before finally giving in.
"My mom." She said it calmly. "I was actually visiting her to get my fingers treated." Wait, so in this universe, her mom is not only alive, but also works as a med-nin? Isn't the wife of the clan head supposed to… I don't know, stay home and cook? After hanging out with Kushina and Mikoto, I kind of got that impression about women who dedicate themselves to their husbands.
"That's awesome. So the Byakugan doesn't just let you see chakra and people's underwear, but also their internal organs! The perfect dojutsu for a medic."
"No one in our clan uses our powerful eyes for such filthy purposes!" She stomped her foot on the stone path.
"Wait… using your eyes to heal people is filthy? I didn't know…"
"I mean… never mind, I get it, you're joking again. Ha ha, very funny." She gave a fake laugh.
"Jokes aside, can you really say with 100% certainty that NO ONE has ever accidentally peeked under someone's clothes with the Byakugan?" Hinata immediately blushed and glared at me. "Okay, I'll stop. Voyeurism is still better than mind control."
"Voya… what?" She didn't get it, so I decided to change the subject quickly.
Five minutes later, Hinata stopped at a turn in the park.
"I'll head out here. Thanks for walking with me." I glanced at her and couldn't help but smile at how cute she looked.
"You're welcome. But before you go… you've got something on your lips." NO, I wasn't planning to kiss her! I didn't even want to think about it - she really did have a dark smudge at the corner of her mouth. Hyuga with Byakugan have a 360-degree field of vision, except for one blind spot, but… apparently, they can't see what's right under their nose.
She quickly ran her fingers over her lips, but just smeared it more.
"That made it worse - here, hold this." I handed her the bags, catching her off guard.
Because of the height difference, I lifted her chin with my pinky to get a better look.
With my thumb, I wiped the chocolate smudge from the corner of her mouth. I had no idea where Hinata was looking, but since the spot still wasn't gone, I frowned and quickly licked my finger to wipe it away.
"There you go, all clean. Take care, Hinata - don't overdo it with the training." Taking the bags from her frozen hands, I turned down another path and left, glancing around as I went.
Phew, at least this time I actually looked around first to check for any random witnesses. The last thing I needed was for her clanmates to accidentally see me…
"How dare you show such deep disrespect to Hinata-sama! I'll cut off those filthy hands that dared to defile her!" Suddenly, a short, well-built man in a blue kimono with a white headband appeared on the path ahead.
No way… Is he using Byakugan to keep tabs on her? This whole time? Is he her bodyguard? Why didn't he show himself before? Was he waiting to deal with me out of Hinata's sight? But that doesn't make sense!
I crossed my fingers, ready to summon four clones. I doubted they'd be much help, but right now, every second I could buy might save me. Fear was a luxury I couldn't afford - I had to act. There was no guarantee Itachi was watching over me…
Why do I feel so weird? No… there's a little fear, and my fingers are trembling a bit, but compared to my run-in with Asuma, I'm way calmer. Is it because I'm starting to get used to this?
"Get ready, scum!" the Hyuga shouted, charging at me at high speed.
It's moments like these that I'm amazed at how fast my mind works - probably thanks to adrenaline. In that split second, I thought through a ton of options and came up with a bunch of ways out. I could buy myself a few minutes just by saying I was actually providing covert protection on Hiashi-dono's orders. Sure, it's a lie, and it has nothing to do with what I was doing a few minutes ago, but I'd pay for it later - at least I'd have a chance to cover for my badly improvised story.
By the time the Hyuga had covered half the distance between us, my brain had processed a mountain of information and…
"Hah, I get it." I steadied my chakra, brought two fingers together, and slammed them into my cast.
The pain made me grit my teeth so hard I almost growled or whimpered.
"And here I was thinking I'd share some with you!" I called out loudly, aiming my words at the empty treetops.
The Hyuga wasn't charging at me anymore - well, not exactly. He was gone. There was no Hyuga. The pain had snapped me out of the illusion, or maybe the prankster herself dispelled it when she realized I'd figured out the genjutsu.
I'd figured it out because, while I was racking my brain for a way to get out of this mess alive and not end up back in the hospital, it finally hit me what was so off about the whole situation.
Her bodyguard, no matter how he felt about Hinata, wouldn't punish her offenders in secret. I'd sooner believe he'd show up right in front of her and shout to all of Konoha about how nobly he was going to defend her honor. What would he gain by doing it all in secret? Nothing. If, as a branch family member, he hated Hinata as a main family member, it would actually be in his interest to make a scene, so as many people as possible would hear about it. If he really cared about her, he wouldn't have waited around - he'd have jumped in right away. A bodyguard who punishes his lady's offenders behind her back? That's more Danzo's style - I doubt you'd find anyone like that in the branch family.
My own reaction was weird, too. Not much time had passed since I'd been in a similar situation, and I remembered perfectly the whole spectrum of emotions and sensations I'd felt then. Am I just adapting, or getting used to it? That fast - impossible. If this happened to me every week for months, maybe I'd get used to it. And I knew Itachi-chan was watching me, and considering the speed of that Hyuga - nowhere near jonin level - she could've taken him out ten times over with a kunai.
The Hyuga had no reason to act like that, even my instincts felt out of sync, and Itachi -chan wasn't doing anything. All those factors together gave me the clue. I checked, and I was right. If I'd been wrong, it wouldn't have been a big deal - unlike with Asuma, I'd have had time to open my mouth and start spouting nonsense to this not-so-experienced shinobi.
So, turns out Itachi's got a pretty strange, but original, sense of humor.
Classic Itachi - teaching me a lesson in her own weird way…
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