"Ahem…"
Guy coughed into his fist, a rare flush creeping up his cheeks as he explained in a low voice:
"Scissors, rock, and paper. Kakashi kept throwing rock… and then—I cracked his pattern! I threw paper once, and BOOM! I won!!"
Guy clenched his fist, his whole body trembling with fiery pride.
This was truly… a thrilling duel. Victory was literally within my grasp!
Haneda stared at him in silence for three long seconds. Then four. Then five.
"…You're amazing, Kakashi," Haneda muttered under his breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.
Of course, he knew Kakashi let Guy win on purpose, but there was no way this green beast of optimism would ever realize it.
Haneda forced a smile. "Alright, Kai. Want to continue our shuriken match from last time?"
"No!" Guy's eyes blazed with passion. "I've trained endlessly since then! I will challenge you with my STRONGEST form! That's the true path of youth!!"
Haneda's smile twitched. "…So what do you want to compete in? Taijutsu?"
Guy nodded vigorously. "Yes! My body overflows with burning spirit! I will defeat you with the ultimate embodiment of hard work—Taijutsu!"
Haneda hesitated. The problem? My shadow clone has been lazing around at school for half a day. One Konoha Whirlwind from this maniac and I'll vanish in a puff of smoke.
"...I'm afraid that won't work today," Haneda said calmly. "Come back tomorrow."
Guy froze. His world collapsed. His personal rule—challenge Haneda only after 5,000 mountain runs—meant nothing now. His clenched fists trembled as his tears sparkled like twin waterfalls.
"Really… truly tomorrow, Haneda?!"
Before Haneda could answer, Guy dropped to his knees and hugged his thigh.
Haneda's soul left his body. His face darkened several shades. Why does this feel… disturbingly familiar?
For the Eight Gates… endure it, Haneda told himself. Besides, it's just a clone. Not the main body. Breathe.
Obito, watching this bizarre display, snapped.
"Oi! You damn watermelon-head! Get your filthy paws OFF him!"
Guy tilted his head, still gripping Haneda like a lifeline. "Who are you? Haneda's… friend?"
Obito nearly burst a vein. "You bastard! You don't even remember me?! You sneak-attacked me last time! You think Uchiha Obito is so easy to forget?!"
"Obito? Never heard of him," Guy said honestly, eyes sparkling with genuine confusion.
Obito saw red. His pride as an Uchiha—his simmering jealousy over Kai's constant clinging to Haneda—boiled over.
"You know what?! I don't care about your stupid challenge anymore. I'm going to beat the crap out of you right now!"
Obito ripped three shuriken from his pouch and hurled them with surprising accuracy, cutting off Guy's movement paths. Then, gripping a kunai in reverse grip, he charged. Chakra flared faintly along the blade's edge—an improvised chakra flow technique he'd barely mastered.
"You're dead, Watermelon Head!!"
Guy's grin widened.
"Yoshi! Such burning passion! I'll honor your challenge with all my youth! Witness my ultimate move—"
He spun, his powerful leg muscles coiling like springs.
"Konoha Whirlwind!!"
The sound of air splitting under his kick sent chills through the entire training ground. Students and onlookers froze, eyes wide.
One was charging with a chakra-enhanced kunai.
The other was dropping a full-force spinning kick.
Kakashi, who had been lurking silently, cursed under his breath.
"Idiots…" He blurred forward, ready to intercept.
Two instructors saw the scene and moved at the same time, horror etched across their faces.
As for Haneda—
"Oh, for f—" He pinched his nose bridge again, stood up, and leapt.
In a single smooth motion, he shoved Obito away with his left hand and raised his right leg, countering Guy's kick with a Konoha Whirlwind of his own.
It might have worked… if this had been his real body.
But it wasn't.
BANG!
The collision shattered the air. Haneda's clone evaporated into smoke instantly, scattering like mist under Guy's raw power.
"Eh?" Guy blinked, mid-spin. "Where did Haneda—"
"YOU BASTARD WATERMELON!!" Obito roared, lunging at Guy before Kakashi intercepted, grabbing Obito by the collar.
"Calm down," Kakashi said coolly. "That was a clone. The real Haneda's… somewhere else."
His mismatched eyes darted toward the trees.
Figures. He wouldn't risk his main body for this nonsense.
The teacher arrived next, face dark. "Kakashi. Where is Haneda?"
Kakashi shrugged, deadpan. "Don't know, Sensei. But… he'll explain himself soon."
---
Later – Academy Office
The Uchiha district wasn't far. Ten minutes later, Haneda walked into the teacher's office with a perfectly polite bow.
"Sorry, Sensei. I caught a cold last night. I wasn't feeling well."
The teacher rubbed his temples, fighting the urge to strangle this infuriatingly talented brat. Haneda always delivered the same excuse with the same innocent tone. Every. Single. Time.
Sometimes the man wondered if there was anything he could teach this boy. Every time he thought about it, he felt like a failure in education.
Haneda, sensing the storm, smiled warmly. "Please don't blame yourself, Sensei. You're an excellent teacher."
"Yes! Teacher, you're the best!" Obito chimed in enthusiastically.
"Right! I've never seen anyone teach like you!" Guy added, his grin practically glowing.
The teacher stared at the three of them—the class genius, the bottom-ranked Uchiha, and the eternal green oddball—and his lips twitched. If these three clowns had actually listened to a lecture, maybe he'd believe them.
Forget it. I'm reporting this to the Sandaime…
In the end, he sighed, gave them a half-hearted scolding, and dismissed them.