Chapter 1: The Day I Died
They poured poison into a golden cup and handed it to me like it was tea.
I drank it with steady hands.
Across the hall, the Emperor smiled at the concubine draped beside him. Sweet little Meiyan, the same girl who once knelt before me, trembling like a rabbit. Now she wore my colors. Now she sat where I used to.
The courtiers didn't look at me. The eunuchs said nothing. Even the servants had already turned away, as if I were already gone.
I felt it first in my fingertips. Cold. Then my stomach twisted like someone had driven a knife straight through my spine.
Still, I knelt. Still, I bowed. Still, I played my final part.
Because a proper Empress dies with dignity.
---
I fell before the dais. Graceful, silent. The hem of my robe brushed against the edge of the jade stairs.
No one rushed to help me.
I saw Meiyan lean into the Emperor's shoulder, whispering something with a smile too wide to be polite. He laughed.
That laugh followed me into the dark.
---
But the heavens were not done with me.
I woke to the sound of birdsong and the sharp crack of my maid dropping a porcelain tray.
"Your Highness!"
I gasped. Air surged into my lungs like I'd been drowning. My limbs were heavy. My chest ached. And when I sat up, the first thing I saw was the old embroidery on the canopy above me.
This was my old room. My room before the palace. Before the wedding. Before the crown.
I knew this place. I knew this day.
Because this was the day they chose me.
The day I was told I would become Crown Princess.
---
I stumbled to the mirror. My face was untouched. No lines. No scars. My lips still red from sleep. My hands… not yet calloused from ink and prayer.
I had been dead.
But now I lived.
And this time, I would not die quietly.
---
Chapter 2: Still Breathing.
The porcelain tray shattered against the floor.
My maid stared at me like she'd seen a ghost. Maybe she had.
"Your Highness… are you alright?"
Her voice trembled. Her hands were already reaching for me, brushing the sweat from my brow, adjusting the blanket as if trying to convince herself I was real.
I knew this girl. Jiu'er.
She was loyal once. She died for me, years later. Silenced in a hallway she wasn't supposed to be in. I remembered the blood on her sleeve. The fear in her eyes when she realized she had overheard too much.
I blinked. It was hard to keep my breathing steady.
"I'm fine," I said. My voice was hoarse.
Jiu'er nodded quickly, tears welling in her eyes. "I'll fetch water. Just rest, please. Don't scare us like that."
She ran from the room, slippers slapping the wooden floor.
---
I sat up slowly, holding the edge of the bed with shaking fingers.
Everything was so quiet. The wind outside. The rustling curtain. My own heartbeat.
It wasn't a dream.
This was real.
I got up and opened the drawer beside the bed. My fingers moved without thinking, pulling out an old hairpin tucked in the lining beneath the silk. I'd hidden it here when I was sixteen, afraid the other girls would steal it. No one ever found it.
Until now.
I stared at it for a long time.
This wasn't just my old life.
This was my second chance.
---
Later, as Jiu'er poured tea and chattered nervously about summoning the physician, I stared at her in silence.
She had no idea who I was anymore. What I had become. What I had seen.
"Tell me the date," I said.
She paused. "Today? It's the twenty-third day of the Second Moon."
My chest tightened.
That was the day before the palace announced I would be selected as Crown Princess.
They would send the summons tomorrow. The gold seal. The Imperial decree.
I had one day.
One day to remember what I lost. One day to choose what I would protect this time. One day to decide whether I would play the same quiet, obedient role…
Or write a new script altogether.
---
Jiu'er placed the cup in front of me. Her hands were still shaking.
"Everything's going to be alright," she whispered.
I didn't answer.
Because everything would not be alright.
Not for them.
Not this time.
Chapter 3: The Girl They Chose
I didn't sleep that night.
Not because I was afraid.
Because I remembered everything.
The quiet footsteps in the corridor. The way the Imperial Envoy would arrive before noon. The scent of jasmine in the air from the garden my mother never let them uproot. I sat at the window until the sun rose, watching petals fall like it was all happening for the first time.
But it wasn't.
This was the second time.
The robe laid out for me was the same pale lavender one I had worn before. Jiu'er helped me dress, her hands gentle, but she kept stealing glances at me. Maybe she sensed something. Or maybe I was already changing.
At breakfast, my mother said nothing. She never did. She sat at the head of the table, her spine straight, her expression unreadable. She watched me pour tea like she was still trying to decide if I was worth betting her status on.
"She looks well," she said finally, directing it at no one in particular.
"She was only ill for a moment," Jiu'er replied with a bow. Her voice was soft, careful, already learning the weight of silence in this house.
My mother didn't ask what kind of illness it was.
She never cared for the details.
I drank quietly and studied her face. I used to crave her approval. Now I saw her for what she was, just another piece of the palace game. Sharp, polished, and only loyal to the highest seat in the room.
The Imperial Envoy arrived just before noon.
I heard the trumpets first. Then the rustle of silk as servants scrambled to form their rows. I stepped into the courtyard like a doll on display.
He stood in gold-trimmed robes, scroll in hand, his voice steady as he read from the decree. His words echoed off the stone walls.
The Second Princess of the Zhao family is hereby chosen by His Majesty to enter the palace as Crown Princess of the Empire.
My father stood proud beside him. I watched his chest rise a little higher as the words hit the air. He bowed. Thanked the envoy. Spoke like a man who believed this was the peak of his legacy.
I stayed on my knees, eyes lowered.
The first time, my hands had trembled.
This time, they were still.
The scroll was handed to me. I touched it with the same reverence I remembered. The same careful hands. The same smile.
But something new burned behind my eyes.
The first time, I believed I had been chosen because I was worthy. Because I was kind. Because I was obedient.
This time, I knew better.
I accepted the Imperial decree.
I accepted the path to my own death.
But only because I had no intention of walking it the same way again.
That night, I sat by the candlelight and wrote a list.
Names. Faces. People I remembered. People I needed to watch.
Meiyan's name went at the top.
Below it, the woman who introduced her to the palace. Two ministers. The eunuch with the sharp smile. A concubine I once trusted.
Every name had a memory attached to it.
And I would not forget this time.
They were choosing the same girl.
But she wasn't the same anymore.