Author's Pov...
The sun blazed high in the afternoon sky as Ren trudged back home, dragging his small suitcase behind him like a defeated war soldier. After two days of sobbing in his family's living room, explaining the mess his life had become, he finally mustered the courage to return to the Vallen estate.
"I just want to rest," he mumbled, shuffling through the grand entrance. His eyes twitched at the memories of being woken up at 5 AM by a gym trainer, handcuffed by a 'cop,' raided by a 'tax officer,' and dragged into a warzone by a 'soldier.'
He tossed his shoes off without caring where they landed and walked into the dining hall, expecting a moment of peace.
But the sight that greeted him made his soul leave his body.
At the center of the long mahogany dining table sat Evan Vallen, sharp as a blade, in a navy-blue suit, perfectly knotted tie, glasses perched low on his nose, tapping a thick folder labeled "CASE: Monroe vs. Ren Vallen" with unnerving precision.
Ren froze. "N-no way…..Who is this now?!"
Evan adjusted his glasses, rising smoothly with a cold, professional smile. "Attorney Clark Monroe. I represent myself."
Ren's jaw dropped. "You are suing me?!"
"Indeed," Clark said, dramatically slamming the folder onto the table. "For emotional negligence, avoidance of marital duties, and failure to acknowledge your husband's multiple loving personalities. You have been officially served."
Ren rubbed his eyes furiously. "IJUST came back! I was gone for two days!"
"And in those two days…" Clark flipped the pages with pointed exaggeration, "you did not return my calls, did not respond to my texts, and avoided all summoned breakfasts. These are grievous offenses."
Ren nearly screamed. "Summoned breakfasts?! You are insane!"
Clark's smirk deepened. "I have a witness."
Two housemaids awkwardly raised their hands in the corner, nervously avoiding eye contact.
Ren pointed at them in disbelief. "You betrayed me!"
The maids bowed deeply. "We were just following the court orders, Young Master Ren."
"I'M NOT EVEN IN A REAL COURT!"
Without wasting a second, Clark pulled out a portable gavel, smacked it on a mini wooden block he'd set on the table, and declared, "Court is in session!"
Ren slapped both his hands over his face. "This can't be real…"
"You are the defendant, Ren Vallen. I am the prosecutor, the lawyer, the judge, the jury—"
"You can't BE all of them!"
"Objection overruled. As your husband, I am allowed special legal privileges."
Ren screamed into his hands.
Clark Monroe strutted confidently around the dining table, his shoes clicking rhythmically on the floor. "Your crime is the willful abandonment of your affectionate spouse—"
"I was taking a break from your personalities!"
"—and your sentence is to immediately resume your marital duties, starting with a romantic dinner date tonight, followed by cuddling, and continued emotional investment."
Ren's eye twitched. "This is blackmail!"
"Love is the law." Clark's smirk was insufferable. "And I am the law."
"CAN I CALL A REAL LAWYER?!"
Clark slid a business card across the table with the most obnoxious flair. "Please do. I know an excellent one."
The card read: Clark Monroe, Attorney at Heart.
Ren was on the verge of losing the last few brain cells he had left. "I can't take this anymore! I just want ONE husband, not many!"
Clark Monroe leaned in, his lips curling wickedly. "Too late, Mr. Vallen. You married all of me."
Ren's brain completely short-circuited.
Clark clapped his hands once, causing the maids to roll out a mini dessert cart. "Now, let's discuss settlement options over cake."
Ren picked up a nearby pillow and furiously chucked it at the lawyer's smug face. "I WILL SETTLE THIS RIGHT NOW!"
Clark effortlessly dodged, hands behind his back, strolling away like he had won the world's most ridiculous case.
"See you at dinner, Mr. Defendant."
Ren collapsed onto the couch, groaning into the cushions. "I need… a vacation."
But the universe whispered in reply: There's no escape.